So then.

Are you really gonna do this?

I kind of feel like I have to. Ever since I had the idea it's just been stuck in my head.

You didn't have the idea: you took a joking suggestion seriously and thought, "Huh, that'd be neat."

Are you complaining? I mean, if I hadn't you wouldn't be here right now.

Fair enough, though I feel kind of offended that you created me for this, and couldn't think of a regular story good enough to put me in before now. I mean, I'm not -that- bad a character am I?

I wouldn't know, I haven't written your back-story yet.

Could you at least tell me my name? I don't think I can really be more than a figment of your imagination if I don't even so much as get a name.

Gonna be honest here, I'm kinda stumped for names at the moment. I mean, I came up with Seskra yesterday.

So what? Are you so creatively bankrupt you can't even think of two different names over the course of two days?

Fine, whatever. Your name is Luke. Happy?

Luke... I dunno. Sounds alright I suppose, though I haven't got a face to go with it.

Your face is also something I still haven't decided on. It's kind of a lot to ask that I just start writing your biography here and now. You've only existed for about 5 minutes so far.

"So far" being the keyword. Once I've got a history I'll retroactively become as old as you say I am. For all I know I'm 937 years old and look like Sibyl Danning.

I don't even know what Sibyl Danning looks like, I just remember hearing her name somewhere.

My point stands. You won't be able to use that excuse for very long.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Got any ideas for what species you wanna be?

Don't pretend like that's my decision. You had the idea for that about 6 sentences ago. I'm a tall, black rabbit with long ears that flop down my back. You know it, and therefore I know it. Still, has a nice ring to it I suppose. "Luke the Rabbit." I can dig it.

Fair warning: I can't promise that I won't make some carrot-related double entendres at some point down the line. I'm an ass like that.

You do know carrots are poisonous to rabbits, right? Just don't ever make me say, "Nyeeeh, what's up Doc?"
...
Goddamn it, I just did that myself, didn't I?

Yes. Yes you did. Congratulations, you're a self-aware character.

Am I? I'm not educated enough to know what level of meta-narrative we're working on here.

You could be. As we've established, I've yet to write your back-story.

Aren't you at all worried that this is gonna fail and dissolve into a pile of nothingness? I mean, you've never done this before, -I've- never done this before, and for all we know we're just jacking each other off here.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. Also, you seem a bit more confrontational than I envisioned you being.

If you fuck up then I'm gonna call you out on it. Lord knows you won't do it yourself.

We should probably agree to some kind of general length for these talks. I don't think either of us wants to spend all damn day talking to the other guy.

You and I both know that won't work. People in real life don't pause mid-argument and say, "Sorry, I've used up my daily allocated time for arguing. Please come back tomorrow." I'll let you know when I've had enough, and you can do the same. Deal?

Deal.

Good. Then I've had enough.

Wait, seriously? Already?

Yeah. I need to think about just independent I am from you and what rights I have as a sentient being. I don't need your ass up in my grill constantly asking questions while I'm doing that. I'll let you know when I'm done.

Euh, fair enough I guess. See you then?

...

Goddammit. What in the hell did I just bring upon myself?

---

I honestly thought this story had been lost when a USB-stick had an unfortunate spin in the washing machine last summer, but a few days ago I found this back-up in the bowels of my hard drive (in the same file as this beauty here).

This whole thing was a result of me hearing  kyell talk about 'getting into an argument with your characters' and imagining what would happen if you literally did just that. I love trying weird little ideas like this, and while I can't imagine a sequel to this I am still very pleased with the final results. It was surprisingly easy to argue with Luke, seeing how I'm used to talking to myself.

Speaking of: LUKE. I love Luke, even if this story literally has the most basic, bare-bones version of him imaginable. I did actually later refine his character, and he made his debut here in part 1 of Hard To Get, which you can read here.

Anyway, this story, the character of Luke and your soul all belong to me. In that order.