*sighs...

I love this world you have created Tippy...

*smiles at him....

V.

a world indeed . . . I think i may have to borrow a page from Frogsbreath's book and write some "non-fiction" about this fictional world; perhaps framed as things from Randal's library. I'm referencing history and backstory faster than i can keep track of it :P

absolutely a must when you're doing an in depth piece. I think it's a very very good idea.

V.

and this just keeps getting deeper . . . .

T.

“needed to walk the path in his mind.”—I like that visual of the thinking process.

One aspect of your writing that I truly admire is the fact it is often dialogue-heavy. You set the stage with a description of the environs but do not lose yourself in every centimeter of the field, cemetery, castle, etc. Same goes for character descriptions.

Your dialogue is always entertaining. It flows smoothly and each character holds his or her own identity. I would venture to say that dialogue is your strongest suit as a writer…and I personally find it can often be the most challenging aspect when putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys).

While I enjoyed this story and appreciated what you had to say about authority establishments omitting truths and the need for the citizens to keep those truths alive and available, overall this story did not grab me like the others from your catalogue. Perhaps I am missing a greater point to the story or it is simply a matter of taste.

In a conversation with  vixyyfox some time ago we were talking about being spectators to our own stories, that is, how I felt like the story was going on and I was just trying to record it before it went by. I suppose it is my theatrical background, but i try capture the characters in the interactions and remember that every detail of surroundings is not always necessary, as much beauty can happen on a bare stage.

As for this particular story, however, i much admit to a level of artifice that your gut feeling will not let you forget. I took the "library" prompt as an opportunity to tell some of the history of this world that is resolving from the mists in my brain. In an effort not to just write expository "non-fiction about a fictional world" i tried to tell a story that tells a story. The will probably work well enough as a transition or prologue in the larger whole (and the damn thing gets bigger every day) but no, this particular bit has no real change or growth of character to drive it . .

Interesting. Not very special as a story, but this adds nicely to your other prose. The concepts and ideas are quite interesting, I liked how the older Brother teaches the younger, maybe making him to see the grays between the black and white, developing his idealistic mind to see the flaws that surround them and readying him to the future encounters of ideals. Very interesting, very entertaining, I was caught wholly by the story as I read it. Great little piece, I enjoyed reading this.

*nods* If i ever get ambitious and/or organized enough to make something like a novel or collection out of all these, this bit would make a nice transition piece -- a little more about the world, but nothing really driving change or development. Anyway, thank you for reading.

Excellent piece. I love these little jaunts into new worlds. Ever thought about returning to this one?

thought about it? Of course, I've thought about it. Thinking about it and doing it are two different things. :P

and thank you for your kind favorite as well :)

I knows what's good. :3