I wouldn't worry about it man. An empty cup doesn't mean nothing was ever in it. Fuck the traditional, stereotypical nonsense that most others belong too. No tears doesn't mean no grief. No grief doesn't mean no love felt.

For as beautiful as the poem is I have to ask did you feel relief at her passing? If so was it because it was a hard passing? Full of pain and obstacles? Or are you thinking you should mourn the passing of a full life when you find yourself smiling because of the odd happy memory? Sounds like you knew her quite well but realize the dynamics of a relationship is different for everyone. She was your father or mother's mother while she was your grandmother. You grew up while she was an adult while your parent grew up with them for more years than you've known her. The intimacy is shorter, though no less strong, for you than for others and longer for you than for the rest.

Have you accepted that death is the final turn in this particular circle of life? No matter what you believe, the afterlife, reincarnation or a new path to be traveled in another life, you might be telling yourself she isn't gone. She has passed on instead of passed away.

I mourn no one except for the passing of animals that have been in my care because they are dependent on me for their lives. Everyone else is a cognizant and sentient being and while the passing of that sentience and everything that is beautiful that goes along with it is something to lament to whatever degree, we all know deep down our part in this play ends at some point in time and eventually the time to exit the stage arrives.

Maybe you want to think about this supposed problem but if you do I would suggest not thinking of it as a problem but as an idiosyncrasy and come to know it so you better know yourself.

You said it yourself, you will miss her. That means she was loved by you. Everything else is pretty much meaningless.

Good points. Someone else suggested that maybe I hadn't fully accepted her death. And I know death isn't the final stage, still, I will have (God willing) many years without her. Her last few years were rather rough, she seemed more ill, asleep, or in the hospital, than awake, feeling good and out of the hospital. I know her passing on was a relief to us, as it meant she knew no pain.

Still something seemed to be odd that the night after the funeral, I felt empty, like stone. there was no sadness, no pain, like I thought there should be. Maybe I am trying to force convention on myself. That maybe I think that I SHOULD be feeling a certain way after the death of a loved one, when maybe for me things are different. Just feels wrong. I know I loved her, and I was even told (after the funeral and in the privacy of our home) that my granny considered me her favorite grandchild. I would think that all the years I've known her, all her life that I got to spend with her, that she deserves...something more from me than just "good bye". I don't know. Maybe I am over-thinking things.

You were here favorite because you gave her what she deserved and more, the love of a child for their grandparent. Such a love is unreserved more often than not and never really changes. Sometimes one word says it all m man.

It's maybe because:

1 - Your mind tries to protect you from being hurt so you're psychology in that part kinda ''froze'' or whatever so you don't feel very bad (like a defense mechanism to protect your feelings because somewhere in your mind you refuse to get very sad for some reasons.

2 - You know that she is better so the part of your mind that is happy that she is better and the part of your mind that is sad neutralizes together. Neutralize: render (something) ineffective or harmless by applying an opposite force or effect. (The two side of the medal I just said).

3 - Maybe it has to do with past lives (even if you don't believe in it it's still maybe a solution): maybe you both learned in your past life from a medium or something that you were gonna meet again in (the next life after this one) so your soul KNOWS that you'll see her again in the next life anyway so that's why you don't react much (but even if your soul remembers this (the soul is supposed to remember every single thing) your mind doesn't know because your memory has been restored in this life so that's why you don't get why you react like that. I know that you might not believe in past lives, but if you did, this explanation actually makes sense.

4 - Like I said you're still at the first stage and the other stages will come sooner or later.

5 - You knew she was heading that way so it didn't out of nowhere surprised you. (Like when your Sim character got electrocuted in my game - I planned your character was going to stay like 10 more days in the game so when you got electrocuted, it shocked me. >.> ... <.< ...hehe pardon the pun. Anyways, this event in my game surprised me because I was prepared for you getting taking away by the Grim Reaper in 10 game days, but not at that instant!) While you knew she was heading that way so without knowing your mind might have been prepared for this since a while. Does this makes sense?

6 - And you might have a different way of seeing things than some others. Maybe you have the "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened'' way of thinking and maybe you see things more positively than others (which is not a bad thing, it's actually a good quality to have to think positively.) Maybe she's glad that you see things on the better side of the medal and are so strong.