Okay, fifteen votes in the last story was a lot more I had expected! To those who commented and to all the watchers this account has received I can't thank you enough, I am extremely grateful! <3 Can't wait to see how random the next chapter gets and hopefully you guys stick around to see I as well ;3

---

I didn't even make it to work before the abnormality started anew. What with getting dressed, cleaned etc and the slight stresses of making it to work (for some reason the car simply refused to start for a couple of minutes) the slight farting incident with Lloyd was well out of my mind.

Work was a half hour drive to my house; however I ran into a problem when I was halfway there. It was a car accident I think, and a car accident meant roadworks and roadworks mean gridlocks. There is little worse than running into unexpected traffic like this when you're on your way to work, but with that being said I wasn't going to get my knickers in a twist over it either!

I decided calling ahead to work to let them know of my situation would be a good idea, but as I fished out my phone from my pocket I happened to look out of the window. I saw something...well, weird. There was a raccoon on the sidewalk and he was eating raw brussel sprouts from a bag. Yeah, raw brussel sprouts! I like sprouts but I have never had them raw before!

The raccoon looked my way and I quickly looked forward, noticing the traffic had moved forward a couple of inches as I dialled work. There were no worries with that; my boss had heard of the crash in the morning news, he was expecting more than me to be late, just get in as soon as I could... my job was boring but at least management was decent.

As I hung up my phone my car door suddenly opened. I gasped in surprise and turned my head – the raccoon?! What – what the -

I was too stunned to do anything for a couple of moments as he started to wind down the window and when I tried to speak (it came out in an unintelligible gargle) he stepped forward and slammed the door. So...so he had approached me just to wind down the window?

~pffffffffffffffffffft~

As he farted and stuffed another sprout down his throat my eyes flicked down to his rear end. Surely not -

~brrrrrrrraaaaaap~

That ass was blocking the window now and the smell wasn't going anywhere. I coughed loudly and yelled at him to get his smelly ass away but I only got a third fart in response! The smell was intolerable already but my brain thankfully kicked in and I rolled up the window. There was nothing the raccoon could do about that...so he walked away? I watched him angrily with a plugged nose as he popped another sprout in his mouth. He – he was acting as if it was nothing! What the hell?

I wanted to unwind the window again but I heard the passenger door open. My head swivelled around just in time to see someone else – a horse – stick his ass into the door. I lunged to try and get him out – forgetting that I was wearing a seatbelt! As I recoiled back my nose became unplugged...and that was how I realised he was letting out a silent fart! I honestly thought I was going to throw up, clutching the side of the seat tightly as he let out another audible fart and closed the door again.

I reached blindly for the door locks and activated them but the damage had already been done. The inside of the car smelt like vegetables that had been left out in the sun after a heavy downpour and even as I looked to the right I saw the horse getting into the car beside me...taking a few bites out of a cabbage and a carrot once he got in the drivers seat.

Only carrots should be eaten raw...why eat the other two that way? To...to fart at me? Why? I didn't know either of them and yet they had seen me and decided to – to -

I didn't want to risk opening the windows in case I attracted more gassy nutters. I needed to somehow endure this bloody traffic jam long enough so I could open the windows and get rid of this smell.

...Good god, it was absolutely vile in there!

I heard a horn from the car behind me, informing me that the queue I was in had moved in a couple of inches. I...I wasn't getting away from this smell for awhile was I?

A) Joke

B) Ambiguous

C) Sole

D) Giant