FA+
Shop
254
Views
Views
2
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120
File Size 36.5 kB
Report this content
More from Leo the Tiger
Listed in Folders
Wheel of Misfortune
Howdy do, y’all; this here’s Nickelback Nathan. Y’all content with gamblin’ scenes in these here parts of Arizona, especially here in Glenn View Springs? I ain’t. I ain’t approvin’ of them ideas ’bout workin’ hard for y’all’s money and then throwin’ it away on one spin of them roulette wheels or one roll of them dice in them games of craps. I hate that! Y’all worked hard for them salary dollars; y’all should be keepin’ them! But that’s y’all’s problem; it ain’t mine. Just be assured I ain’t never goin’ never them fortune wheels in my life or rollin’ any dice in my life (not even if the game is Monopoly) because I ain’t got time for it. I’m busy enough fightin’ them outlaws and keepin’ justice here in Arizona with my fellow Nickelbacks. Don’t y’all bother tryin’ to award me no big bounty cash rewards, either; I ain’t takin’ it. All I care ’bout is seein’ justice comin’ to the town. I make enough cash already from sellin’ some of my crops at them farmers markets we hold on Saturday mornin’s durin’ them days of summer.
Clearly Fritz Buchannan, that there outlaw that took over Bully Dawggerson’s position in that there gang of his, supports gamblin’, and he knows how to cheat y’all out of potentially changin’ y’all’s lives with one spin of them wheels or one roll of them dice. This was evident one day when he done come chargin’ in Miss Jamie’s saloon and settin’ up one of them roulette stands.
“This is odd,” she said to our Sheriff. “I didn’t give him permission to do so.”
“The crime is his potential cheating of folks out of their winnings,” the Sheriff replied. “We’ll see if he’s doing that or not. At least no one’s getting shot this time, so that’s a relief.”
“Should I call Nathan anyway, or would that be too wishy-washy on my behalf?”
“It might be, because I’m the Sheriff, but I do like the fact that when there is a crime, he knows about it. I think I hear him coming now.”
“Y’all’s instincts ain’t doin’ y’all no wrong, Sheriff,” I said as my friends and I entered Miss Jamie’s saloon, hearing the remark.
“See what I mean?”
“Yes, I do.”
“At least he’s not gonna up and shoot me again,” I continued. “Or, if he is, I ain’t afraid of no lead enterin’ me.”
“I don’t want to do that if it’s not necessary,” Fritz replied. “I felt bad in the first place shooting you.”
“You had better,” David spoke up. “You also realize you are running an unauthorized gambling table, aren’t you?”
“I don’t remember anything about there being gambling laws in this town.”
“Well, there aren’t, but Miss Jamie didn’t give you her okay to run this.”
“Oh, she didn’t?”
“No.”
“Hmmm. Well, anyway, what’s your game? 21? 5-card draw? Craps? Roulette?”
“None of them,” I said.
“One try’s not going to hurt you.”
“True, but one try turns into too many tries, and it’s plumb dumb and plumb addictin’ if you ain’t careful. So don’t y’all try and con me into no gamblin’ schemes, Fritz!”
“I wasn’t going to offer it to you. I was offering it to him.” He pointed at Luke.
“I have been known to gamble from time to time,” Luke admitted, “but I do it moderately, and I never wager big. Sheriff, you can testify to that.”
“Yes, I can,” said the Sheriff. “I play a bit of poker myself, and sometimes I play against you.”
“I ain’t got no problem with that; it’s just I ain’t never gonna do it,” I replied. Then I walked up to my pal Luke and whispered, “Y’all think y’all can catch him in his own trap?”
“I’ll try,” Luke agreed as he sat down at the table. “Okay, Fritz, I’ll give it a try. I don’t want to have to draw on you, however, because I am armed, and so is Tom.” Tom flipped and twirled them guns of his to add to his illustration. Then he put them away, back in them holsters.
“Roulette,” Luke continued. “And I’ll bet one penny on number 36.”
“All right, then,” said Fritz as he spun the wheel and dropped the marble. “A penny on 36.” The ball spun and rolled around until it dropped in the right slot. Since the odds in roulette are 35 to 1 when this happens, Luke got himself 35¢ when this happened. The process repeated several times, in an attempt to see if Fritz would cheat in the end. Before long, Luke’s total was $525,218.75. “I have a feeling he’ll try and cheat me out of this next one,” he said.
Nobody but me noticed Fritz was operatin’ one of them switchboards with them levers that controlled when the ball stopped and landed in its slot. This was evident to me when the ball landed in the green 00 slot. Fritz shouted, “Ha! You lost!” He banged them fists of his on the table, not noticin’ until too late that there marble bounced up and landed back in that there slot labeled 36! “On second thought, you didn’t,” he winced. “And I’m broke. Clearly I wasn’t prepared enough, and now you can see what I was doing.” He turned the table around and showed them switchboards and lever of his, and then demonstrated it to us.
“At least we appreciate that although this was a crime, it was a nonviolent one,” said the Sheriff. “Crime doesn’t pay, as you can see, and this town needs a break from all the gun firing.”
“Before you take me back to jail,” Fritz replied, “allow me to show you that this was leftover money from that last bank robbery, and I forgot to hand it back. There’s $1 million total, and by that last win of yours, sir, it would’ve been more than $18 million, and I don’t have $18 million in this money sack.”
“I can see that,” said Luke as the Sheriff escorted Fritz back to jail. Colton and I took that there sack of money and returned it to that there bank Fritz was talkin’ ’bout as he confessed. Then we went back to Miss Jamie’s saloon for lunch, where the Sheriff and Luke played poker with a few other folks as they mentioned before, Tom being one of them. David and I sat at the counter and had one of them nice chats with Miss Jamie ’bout them beauties of the lifestyle we’s all were and still are livin’ to this very day.
THE END
Story details:
G-52 organization, Drumbums, Circus of the Superstars, and other such groups © me and me alone.
Some G-52s are joint-owned by me and
Chuong; see my bios gallery for which is which.
UN1024s, AIRAF, GSAF, Royal Pagans, and other such groups © Chuong alone
D-19 ©
16weeks
Blue, Toppet Kingdom, etc. ©
BlueMario1016
G-52 logo drawn by
zakavatarz; the world of Noah and all associates thereof © him and him alone
Current icon of me drawn by
pimpartist
Any canon characters mentioned © all who own the rights.
All music, movies, or television shows referenced © all who own the rights
Howdy do, y’all; this here’s Nickelback Nathan. Y’all content with gamblin’ scenes in these here parts of Arizona, especially here in Glenn View Springs? I ain’t. I ain’t approvin’ of them ideas ’bout workin’ hard for y’all’s money and then throwin’ it away on one spin of them roulette wheels or one roll of them dice in them games of craps. I hate that! Y’all worked hard for them salary dollars; y’all should be keepin’ them! But that’s y’all’s problem; it ain’t mine. Just be assured I ain’t never goin’ never them fortune wheels in my life or rollin’ any dice in my life (not even if the game is Monopoly) because I ain’t got time for it. I’m busy enough fightin’ them outlaws and keepin’ justice here in Arizona with my fellow Nickelbacks. Don’t y’all bother tryin’ to award me no big bounty cash rewards, either; I ain’t takin’ it. All I care ’bout is seein’ justice comin’ to the town. I make enough cash already from sellin’ some of my crops at them farmers markets we hold on Saturday mornin’s durin’ them days of summer.
Clearly Fritz Buchannan, that there outlaw that took over Bully Dawggerson’s position in that there gang of his, supports gamblin’, and he knows how to cheat y’all out of potentially changin’ y’all’s lives with one spin of them wheels or one roll of them dice. This was evident one day when he done come chargin’ in Miss Jamie’s saloon and settin’ up one of them roulette stands.
“This is odd,” she said to our Sheriff. “I didn’t give him permission to do so.”
“The crime is his potential cheating of folks out of their winnings,” the Sheriff replied. “We’ll see if he’s doing that or not. At least no one’s getting shot this time, so that’s a relief.”
“Should I call Nathan anyway, or would that be too wishy-washy on my behalf?”
“It might be, because I’m the Sheriff, but I do like the fact that when there is a crime, he knows about it. I think I hear him coming now.”
“Y’all’s instincts ain’t doin’ y’all no wrong, Sheriff,” I said as my friends and I entered Miss Jamie’s saloon, hearing the remark.
“See what I mean?”
“Yes, I do.”
“At least he’s not gonna up and shoot me again,” I continued. “Or, if he is, I ain’t afraid of no lead enterin’ me.”
“I don’t want to do that if it’s not necessary,” Fritz replied. “I felt bad in the first place shooting you.”
“You had better,” David spoke up. “You also realize you are running an unauthorized gambling table, aren’t you?”
“I don’t remember anything about there being gambling laws in this town.”
“Well, there aren’t, but Miss Jamie didn’t give you her okay to run this.”
“Oh, she didn’t?”
“No.”
“Hmmm. Well, anyway, what’s your game? 21? 5-card draw? Craps? Roulette?”
“None of them,” I said.
“One try’s not going to hurt you.”
“True, but one try turns into too many tries, and it’s plumb dumb and plumb addictin’ if you ain’t careful. So don’t y’all try and con me into no gamblin’ schemes, Fritz!”
“I wasn’t going to offer it to you. I was offering it to him.” He pointed at Luke.
“I have been known to gamble from time to time,” Luke admitted, “but I do it moderately, and I never wager big. Sheriff, you can testify to that.”
“Yes, I can,” said the Sheriff. “I play a bit of poker myself, and sometimes I play against you.”
“I ain’t got no problem with that; it’s just I ain’t never gonna do it,” I replied. Then I walked up to my pal Luke and whispered, “Y’all think y’all can catch him in his own trap?”
“I’ll try,” Luke agreed as he sat down at the table. “Okay, Fritz, I’ll give it a try. I don’t want to have to draw on you, however, because I am armed, and so is Tom.” Tom flipped and twirled them guns of his to add to his illustration. Then he put them away, back in them holsters.
“Roulette,” Luke continued. “And I’ll bet one penny on number 36.”
“All right, then,” said Fritz as he spun the wheel and dropped the marble. “A penny on 36.” The ball spun and rolled around until it dropped in the right slot. Since the odds in roulette are 35 to 1 when this happens, Luke got himself 35¢ when this happened. The process repeated several times, in an attempt to see if Fritz would cheat in the end. Before long, Luke’s total was $525,218.75. “I have a feeling he’ll try and cheat me out of this next one,” he said.
Nobody but me noticed Fritz was operatin’ one of them switchboards with them levers that controlled when the ball stopped and landed in its slot. This was evident to me when the ball landed in the green 00 slot. Fritz shouted, “Ha! You lost!” He banged them fists of his on the table, not noticin’ until too late that there marble bounced up and landed back in that there slot labeled 36! “On second thought, you didn’t,” he winced. “And I’m broke. Clearly I wasn’t prepared enough, and now you can see what I was doing.” He turned the table around and showed them switchboards and lever of his, and then demonstrated it to us.
“At least we appreciate that although this was a crime, it was a nonviolent one,” said the Sheriff. “Crime doesn’t pay, as you can see, and this town needs a break from all the gun firing.”
“Before you take me back to jail,” Fritz replied, “allow me to show you that this was leftover money from that last bank robbery, and I forgot to hand it back. There’s $1 million total, and by that last win of yours, sir, it would’ve been more than $18 million, and I don’t have $18 million in this money sack.”
“I can see that,” said Luke as the Sheriff escorted Fritz back to jail. Colton and I took that there sack of money and returned it to that there bank Fritz was talkin’ ’bout as he confessed. Then we went back to Miss Jamie’s saloon for lunch, where the Sheriff and Luke played poker with a few other folks as they mentioned before, Tom being one of them. David and I sat at the counter and had one of them nice chats with Miss Jamie ’bout them beauties of the lifestyle we’s all were and still are livin’ to this very day.
THE END
Story details:
G-52 organization, Drumbums, Circus of the Superstars, and other such groups © me and me alone.
Some G-52s are joint-owned by me and
Chuong; see my bios gallery for which is which.UN1024s, AIRAF, GSAF, Royal Pagans, and other such groups ©
Chuong aloneD-19 ©
16weeksBlue, Toppet Kingdom, etc. ©
BlueMario1016G-52 logo drawn by
zakavatarz; the world of Noah and all associates thereof © him and him aloneCurrent icon of me drawn by
pimpartistAny canon characters mentioned © all who own the rights.
All music, movies, or television shows referenced © all who own the rights
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 36.5 kB
Chuong: Okay now I better push roulette out of my mind! I can't believe I let one of my Vietnamese friends talk me into it! That one time was thrilling and scary as it is!
Zax: Electronic gambling tables and slots are worse since they're rigged. In fact, I reenacted a computerized gambling slot and I learned how easy engineers behind computerized slot machines can modify the odds where the player loses more money than they win. I knew my theory would come true to this!
Jack: The house will always win so in other words, don't gamble. Not to mention, if you win $1200 or more, you better pay taxes. Last time I checked, IRS deducts 30% of your winnings if it goes over that amount so for example, if you win one million dollars, you'll only keep $700,000 because $300,000 is deducted as taxes and goes to things like school and the military. And yes, since I'm a military psychiatrist, some of that gambling tax money ends up in my paycheck. That's life for you guys!
Zax: And mine too. Gotta pay your taxes.
Dustin: And don't forget some of that money gets distributed to Native American tribes as well.
Jill: Government scholarship money to Americans who want to work for the government.
William: And of course, some of that money winds up in the American health care system too. So even if people win, they still have to lose some.
Chuong: And that's what I learned when I played roulette for the first time. And that first time is my last. But then again, as Luong told me, there's a first to everything and some firsts are better off last.
Zax: Electronic gambling tables and slots are worse since they're rigged. In fact, I reenacted a computerized gambling slot and I learned how easy engineers behind computerized slot machines can modify the odds where the player loses more money than they win. I knew my theory would come true to this!
Jack: The house will always win so in other words, don't gamble. Not to mention, if you win $1200 or more, you better pay taxes. Last time I checked, IRS deducts 30% of your winnings if it goes over that amount so for example, if you win one million dollars, you'll only keep $700,000 because $300,000 is deducted as taxes and goes to things like school and the military. And yes, since I'm a military psychiatrist, some of that gambling tax money ends up in my paycheck. That's life for you guys!
Zax: And mine too. Gotta pay your taxes.
Dustin: And don't forget some of that money gets distributed to Native American tribes as well.
Jill: Government scholarship money to Americans who want to work for the government.
William: And of course, some of that money winds up in the American health care system too. So even if people win, they still have to lose some.
Chuong: And that's what I learned when I played roulette for the first time. And that first time is my last. But then again, as Luong told me, there's a first to everything and some firsts are better off last.
Nathan: Y'all won't see them electronic machines down here; it's all them table and card games, though we's the kind of folks that also frequently play them general card games.
Cripto: Usually if I am down here and inside the saloon (drinking diet root beer, of course, and not real bear), I'll play canasta with some of them.
Leo: *to Dustin* You belong to a tribe, so your people, I heard, cash in more from all that than Vegas ever does.
Cripto: Usually if I am down here and inside the saloon (drinking diet root beer, of course, and not real bear), I'll play canasta with some of them.
Leo: *to Dustin* You belong to a tribe, so your people, I heard, cash in more from all that than Vegas ever does.
Dustin: I'm from the Navajo and yes we do cash in a lot more than Vegas does. I really don't care so much about casinos though but that's me. I sometimes think part of the reason why most Native American tribes like the Navajo cash in more from gambling than Vegas does is because the federal government give tax exemptions to Native American casinos. In places like Vegas though, they tax more there from gambling revenue because the casinos there are not owned by Native Americans.
Zax: Plus if you take Zachary's reforms into account where he made every single American town a business center, the Native Americans took advantage of his reforms which allowed more customer traffic into their towns. Of course there will always be some Native Americans who choose to opt out from gambling.
Jack: But in the end, the house always win. You play, you have to lose some to win. And if you win a lot, you gotta pay taxes. Boomcat and I will need that military paycheck you know.
William: Tourists of certain nationalities can claim some of their losses too on their tax forms because the US does have special tax treaties with some countries. Vietnam isn't one of them hence if for example Chuong wins a million dollars, he can only take $700,000. If Kirk wins the same amount, he'll take home more because he's from Canada and the US has a tax treaty with Canada.
Kirk: Well I don't gamble but that's good to know.
Chuong: The dealers told me stories of how gambling can be dangerous and yes, it's okay for them to discourage people from gambling. In fact, dealers can tell you to leave the table if you win a lot. They only want to have fun and that's it. One of them said that gambling addicts have sold their souls to the devil and have spent their entire lives in hell doing nothing but gambling.
Zax: Plus if you take Zachary's reforms into account where he made every single American town a business center, the Native Americans took advantage of his reforms which allowed more customer traffic into their towns. Of course there will always be some Native Americans who choose to opt out from gambling.
Jack: But in the end, the house always win. You play, you have to lose some to win. And if you win a lot, you gotta pay taxes. Boomcat and I will need that military paycheck you know.
William: Tourists of certain nationalities can claim some of their losses too on their tax forms because the US does have special tax treaties with some countries. Vietnam isn't one of them hence if for example Chuong wins a million dollars, he can only take $700,000. If Kirk wins the same amount, he'll take home more because he's from Canada and the US has a tax treaty with Canada.
Kirk: Well I don't gamble but that's good to know.
Chuong: The dealers told me stories of how gambling can be dangerous and yes, it's okay for them to discourage people from gambling. In fact, dealers can tell you to leave the table if you win a lot. They only want to have fun and that's it. One of them said that gambling addicts have sold their souls to the devil and have spent their entire lives in hell doing nothing but gambling.
Super C: Scary. Lucky we aren't going down there to find out.
Leo: One more bellow and I will, but what's terrifying me to a petrifying fear of that is that all the parallels will go with me.
Boomcat: I'm no longer a Marine, but when I was, that was a frequent topic of discussion.
Captain C: Get on one of our quiz shows back in Britain and it's tax-free by law, so winning a million wins the whole million. Of course, when the tax bills come, it starts going away again, so the house wins there as well.
Leo: One more bellow and I will, but what's terrifying me to a petrifying fear of that is that all the parallels will go with me.
Boomcat: I'm no longer a Marine, but when I was, that was a frequent topic of discussion.
Captain C: Get on one of our quiz shows back in Britain and it's tax-free by law, so winning a million wins the whole million. Of course, when the tax bills come, it starts going away again, so the house wins there as well.
Jack: *to Captain C* Sounds about the same with the US here.
Zax: Scary how Leo's actions seems to decide the destiny of his parallels.
Chuong: As long he doesn't bellow, that's all good. I don't want to lose Luong. He nearly spent his entire life fending off the Mongols under Kublai Khan at that time just to save Vietnam. Luong is almost like the lion counterpart of Tran Hung Dao.
Nadav: Even Lior is spiritually linked to Leo so Israel cannot afford to lose him. I need Lior since he's one of Israel's finest generals out there. When he fights against his enemies, he fights them hard. No one messes with Lior the Lion of Zion; he is too legendary in modern military history.
Armenak: And Levon the Christian Lion is not just valuable to Armenia but to the world; especially to countries that are predominantly Christian like those in Europe. And yes Catholic countries are a part of this despite their different calender system as well as their traditions.
Kang-Dae: Words fail to describe my happiness when I saw Kyu the Hwarang Lion representing Korea. And it was at the right moment too when Jae-Hwa was trying to rule my country under tyranny under Gwangbokjeol Day only for Kyu to come to our time to fight along with us to help us Koreans take our nation back. It was a glorious day ever and the best birthday for Kyu for him to come out of the Goryeo Dynasty and into today's era!
Zax: Scary how Leo's actions seems to decide the destiny of his parallels.
Chuong: As long he doesn't bellow, that's all good. I don't want to lose Luong. He nearly spent his entire life fending off the Mongols under Kublai Khan at that time just to save Vietnam. Luong is almost like the lion counterpart of Tran Hung Dao.
Nadav: Even Lior is spiritually linked to Leo so Israel cannot afford to lose him. I need Lior since he's one of Israel's finest generals out there. When he fights against his enemies, he fights them hard. No one messes with Lior the Lion of Zion; he is too legendary in modern military history.
Armenak: And Levon the Christian Lion is not just valuable to Armenia but to the world; especially to countries that are predominantly Christian like those in Europe. And yes Catholic countries are a part of this despite their different calender system as well as their traditions.
Kang-Dae: Words fail to describe my happiness when I saw Kyu the Hwarang Lion representing Korea. And it was at the right moment too when Jae-Hwa was trying to rule my country under tyranny under Gwangbokjeol Day only for Kyu to come to our time to fight along with us to help us Koreans take our nation back. It was a glorious day ever and the best birthday for Kyu for him to come out of the Goryeo Dynasty and into today's era!
Cripto: I fear what might happen to him because even I fear his loud voice.
Leo: Understandingly so.
Nathan: Well, y'all got them motivations down here; this here town has one of them noise ordinances in effect.
Sheriff Jackson: That's not such a common problem these days because 1) Zachary changed us into a star shape against our wills, and 2) we realize this year is 2014 even if we sort of look like 1884 on the outside.
Kyu: Thank you, Kang-Dae; I appreciate that.
Leo: *to Nadav* You can say that. The morals that I used to shove down people's throats are not only common sense, but they do seemed to have come from the concepts Christianity preaches, without me even knowing it. It probably also explains my huge hatred of profanity.
Cripto: I think we all hate it. Lucky my powers started providing the bleep sound, but the drawback is sometimes you could hear so much of it, you'd think you were listening to Morse Code. I'd lose it and possibly lose everything if I let it drive me mental.
Leo: Oh, no; don't do that!
Cripto: No.
Nathan: Nope; we's ain't ready to lose y'all's self just yet, Nicky (Cripto).
Leo: Understandingly so.
Nathan: Well, y'all got them motivations down here; this here town has one of them noise ordinances in effect.
Sheriff Jackson: That's not such a common problem these days because 1) Zachary changed us into a star shape against our wills, and 2) we realize this year is 2014 even if we sort of look like 1884 on the outside.
Kyu: Thank you, Kang-Dae; I appreciate that.
Leo: *to Nadav* You can say that. The morals that I used to shove down people's throats are not only common sense, but they do seemed to have come from the concepts Christianity preaches, without me even knowing it. It probably also explains my huge hatred of profanity.
Cripto: I think we all hate it. Lucky my powers started providing the bleep sound, but the drawback is sometimes you could hear so much of it, you'd think you were listening to Morse Code. I'd lose it and possibly lose everything if I let it drive me mental.
Leo: Oh, no; don't do that!
Cripto: No.
Nathan: Nope; we's ain't ready to lose y'all's self just yet, Nicky (Cripto).
Comments