that was a strange one... but I loved it....

V.

What's strange about it? ;D

*clears her throat...

The meeting moved my feet
My socks rolled down
And I looked away as he tried to push a minivan off a cliff.


*gives him a hug...

V.

"The meeting" refers both to the 'meeting' of myself and the man, and to the meeting I was walking it. They 'moved my feet' -- made me continue walking -- because one broke my reverie and the other was my intended destination.

"My socks rolled down" is just sort of an artifice. That didn't happen, but it does sort of a symbolize a moving onward.

The last line refers back to the buffalo image. :3 It's just a stray memory I have of buffalo out west a few years ago. It didn't actually push the van off a cliff, but it was awfully close to one and certainly could have, given reason to.

I... kinda get it, I think. o_o
Good nonetheless. :D

This is a collection of actual events, stream-of-consciousness memories, and half-assed attempts at actual poetry. :O So, par for the course for me.

And par is all that matters. |3

You're lucky to live where there are cliffs to push vehicles off of. I had to push my friend's car (which she abandoned in my yard) several streets over to leave it next to the pack rat family. I figured they wouldn't notice it, and everyone else would just assume it was theirs. :D

Actually, I don't, no cliffs in sight. <.< The reference is to the last time I saw a buffalo. Also, how the heck did I not see this comment before? O.o

I READ IT! :D

Very weird. But I like it. ^_^

I like the imagery, but it could use some tightening. The language is pretty obtuse, and it doesn't seem to obviously (or even indirectly) point towards an underlying connection. Personal symbols are great, but you have to find a way to let the audience in on the meaning.

I love the connection between man and buffalo. :) Why did he remind you of one? Why did this specific memory of something you saw out West get pulled up? What does that memory mean to you?

The first stanza, as far as I can tell, is completely disconnected from the rest of the poem. I actually like the way it sounds, but it's the abrupt jumping from one image to another that gives this its scattershot feel.

Anyway, this has a lot of potential. Overall, I think the connection of the man and your memory of the buffalo is the strongest thing here. You should run with it!

-J

Poetry is unfortunately not one of my strong points. :3 This is a second draft, but making poems work isn't really something I know how to do.

As for the buffalo reference, I'm glad someone finally asked. Simply put, I could have compared him to any large, dumb animal. I picked buffalo because we had been discussing the word in one of the classes I was assistant-teaching at the time. The memories from seeing them out West followed naturally from that.

And I'll agree that the personal symbols aren't the best way to go. I'm honestly tempted to rewrite this as a dreamy narrative piece, with explanations for my very disjointed mental associations. :3

And lest I forget, thank you for the nice commentary! I don't expect that sort of thing on my poetry. :D

I enjoyed the imagery that sprung to mind as I read it, and even more so when I paddled down the stream of comments to this one here ...

That's my excuse for sloppy writing: defending and explaining myself via comments is a major part of the creative process! :D Yeah, so, comment on all my stuff! You're helping me make art!

If there's spoken rythm in it, I don't hear it, put it's a fascinating snippet of almost surreal prose, definitely.

Nope, cadence was definitely not my aim with this one. :3 Thanks for the comment, man, I love hearing back on old works.