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Sadness
A gift art by Nelson88 and his cousin to cheer him me up after a really difficult moment. I am really thankfull to them for it. I have thought a lot before posting this pic and speaking of what is it related to. Don't keep reading if you don't like reading about emotionnal stuff and depression.
Tuesday has been a really difficult day for me. My father has been yelling at me most of the day when I got a call that my visa was rejected. I couldn't go to see Kink in the USA. It made me feel really bad and my father yelled at me because I was on the phone, saying I was a good to nothing, that it has been a month since I last worked, that in a month I was 33 and had no job and no future. I felt really really bad and thought about calling someone to talk, but I realized something that I was actually discussing about on messengers : I had no-one to talk. There is no-one in my life.
I was thinking of ending myself while my father kept ranting, took pills as I was doing a panic attack and left to drive around. Come back, still feel really depressed. I erased everyone from my messengers (had over 20 people on each, added back only 4 so far) because I felt so lonely (and the betrayal of a friend two days ago didn't helped) and thought of selling all my babyfur stuff since I was doomed to barely use it for myself but only for others. Leaned down, hugged a plushie for a few hours. Since then I got a few messages that cheered me up, my irl switzerland's friend told me that seeing him just before my birthday will help me and so on... Still feeling not that great as I can't keep out of my mind that there is no-one in my life that wants of a baby pup with him that I can actually met with any regularity, talk when I'm down and such.
I keep steeling myself against such feelings, but they bottle up and they crack me up despite all my efforts. Sorry but I felt talking about it may let a bit of the pressure go. Thanks to all who cares about me.
Tuesday has been a really difficult day for me. My father has been yelling at me most of the day when I got a call that my visa was rejected. I couldn't go to see Kink in the USA. It made me feel really bad and my father yelled at me because I was on the phone, saying I was a good to nothing, that it has been a month since I last worked, that in a month I was 33 and had no job and no future. I felt really really bad and thought about calling someone to talk, but I realized something that I was actually discussing about on messengers : I had no-one to talk. There is no-one in my life.
I was thinking of ending myself while my father kept ranting, took pills as I was doing a panic attack and left to drive around. Come back, still feel really depressed. I erased everyone from my messengers (had over 20 people on each, added back only 4 so far) because I felt so lonely (and the betrayal of a friend two days ago didn't helped) and thought of selling all my babyfur stuff since I was doomed to barely use it for myself but only for others. Leaned down, hugged a plushie for a few hours. Since then I got a few messages that cheered me up, my irl switzerland's friend told me that seeing him just before my birthday will help me and so on... Still feeling not that great as I can't keep out of my mind that there is no-one in my life that wants of a baby pup with him that I can actually met with any regularity, talk when I'm down and such.
I keep steeling myself against such feelings, but they bottle up and they crack me up despite all my efforts. Sorry but I felt talking about it may let a bit of the pressure go. Thanks to all who cares about me.
Category All / Baby fur
Species Wolf
Size 920 x 1049px
File Size 276.9 kB
Listed in Folders
*hugs ya tightly* i know how ya feel,my dad only happy some times when he in bitch bitch mode at everything and rants about it.he like this all my life but other times can be nice,I know how loneliness can be at times between can't get out much,can't get job save my life.. on top i'm 33 to so i know where ya coming from hun. best try do something cheer ya self up and try keep positive even in face of this ugliness happened.
Depression is a terrible thing to go through. I'm sorry you're going through such a rough patch. It's easy to feel like we're all alone, especially when we're missing romance in our lives - I came very close to killing myself at the beginning of this year because I felt like there was nothing at all to look forward to and am rapidly approaching 30. But try not to let it all get to you. I can understand feeling isolated. I feel that way a lot, but it's important not to let others' perception of you influence your perception of yourself. Your dad is telling you you're worthless, but you're very obviously not.
I hope you get to feeling better. I don't know you all that well, but no one deserves to feel like they're worthless, because no one is.
I hope you get to feeling better. I don't know you all that well, but no one deserves to feel like they're worthless, because no one is.
I don't believe we've ever really talked, so I don't know how much worth you'll put into what I'm about to say, but it can't hurt. In the nearly ten years that I've been lurking within the fur community, you have popped up again and again. In fact, I would contend that the art of you has had more effect on me and my fur identity than most other furs I've seen. Your holiday themed stories bring a smile to my face and I always look forward to a new picture or story about Loupy.
It is the nature of a primarily online community that we are together but alone and that's incredibly rough. I too struggle with dark feelings and I consider it important to have escapes from those feelings, both online and within the outside world. To put it simply, you can get through these depressions and find something to live for. I know you can. I may not know you, but I believe that you can achieve anything you set your heart to. You can either take this to heart or just shrug it off as some faceless stranger spouting pointless feel-good nonsense, but I hope for the best for you. I hope with all my heart that this was a tiny ray of sunshine. Thank you for all that you are.
It is the nature of a primarily online community that we are together but alone and that's incredibly rough. I too struggle with dark feelings and I consider it important to have escapes from those feelings, both online and within the outside world. To put it simply, you can get through these depressions and find something to live for. I know you can. I may not know you, but I believe that you can achieve anything you set your heart to. You can either take this to heart or just shrug it off as some faceless stranger spouting pointless feel-good nonsense, but I hope for the best for you. I hope with all my heart that this was a tiny ray of sunshine. Thank you for all that you are.
Thanks for your words. For my art, I have lots of imagination and as such I get stuff that many people wouldn't think about. It is always good to be told such things even if it doesn't always help. I feel lonely irl and the person I care the most in the world doesn't care about me in the same way, so at times the online community is just not enough.
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