If there's anything I got out of it, it has to be the understanding that no matter how well we plan, it's not really up to us if it works. If you're the kind who can shrug off the times when a situation seems to be screwing with you and walk away, I envy you. Be it my weakness, or some deep flaw of personality, I cannot let go. I can't close my bridges, much less burn them.

It doesn't matter: he's as good to me as dead, and I'm a slow mourner.