Allison finds that a loop eventually makes a rut; the day by day has begun to become cyclic. The Sparklight nomad, a workshop that travels the globe in rebel of the systematic Synchronization Servers that dot the land and homogenize daily life, will never bore her. However, what lies within Sparklight promises to make things interesting for her and her coworkers--especially their newest recruit.
Damage report? This story has been well over a year in the making, and as I continued to write it, it just kept getting longer and longer. This one had a will of its own; instead of perpetually cementing brick after brick of this monstrosity without showing my work, I thought I’d share the first half.
In summary, this story is the spiritual successor/pseudo sequel to an older story of mine, Origin's Eve. The reading there is not necessary, but it may help you understand some core concepts (no, the SS is not the Schutzstaffel) as the two take place in the same world, so I suggest at least skimming that one first.
Part two is to come. Some day. Enjoy!
Dropbox link for those who prefer it: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hoangwuru.....%201.docx?dl=0
Ooh and before I forget, editing credit goes to a Mr.
futurewesty! Without his help I probably would have died a couple weeks ago. Thumbnail credit is also to
gravewalker.
Origin's Eve world: << PREV | FIRST | NEXT>>
Sienna: << PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>
Damage report? This story has been well over a year in the making, and as I continued to write it, it just kept getting longer and longer. This one had a will of its own; instead of perpetually cementing brick after brick of this monstrosity without showing my work, I thought I’d share the first half.
In summary, this story is the spiritual successor/pseudo sequel to an older story of mine, Origin's Eve. The reading there is not necessary, but it may help you understand some core concepts (no, the SS is not the Schutzstaffel) as the two take place in the same world, so I suggest at least skimming that one first.
Part two is to come. Some day. Enjoy!
Dropbox link for those who prefer it: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hoangwuru.....%201.docx?dl=0
Ooh and before I forget, editing credit goes to a Mr.
futurewesty! Without his help I probably would have died a couple weeks ago. Thumbnail credit is also to
gravewalker.Origin's Eve world: << PREV | FIRST | NEXT>>
Sienna: << PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>
Category Story / Macro / Micro
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 96 x 120px
File Size 779.9 kB
An epic intro to an epic story. It was long, but I enjoyed reading it. Like your other stories, I can see Fiela and Rey in this, although Varian and Battery stand well enough on their own that's more a homage feeling than anything. Sienna is a neat twist and I'm digging the triangle that's springing up as well as character arcs and subplots that fill this out. The use of hybrids and the society outside the servers is very intriguing, and leave me wondering what things were like before them and in the Overflow areas (doesn't sound very good if you're one of the small species for certain). I will definitely be awaiting Pt.2 with eager anticipation, great work!
Btw, about halfway down there's a comment/outline still left in presumably from the editing.
Btw, about halfway down there's a comment/outline still left in presumably from the editing.
Thanks very much for the comment! I'm glad that even in spite of its length it remained entertaining. Battery in particular definitely drew a few cues from Fiela, but It's heartening to know they all remained identifiable enough. Hah and oh boy Sienna--I can't say enough about her. We'll definitely learn a bit more about her motives later.
The world is definitely something I wanted to build upon ever since Origin's Eve, and I saw this as the perfect chance to do so. The outside world's no happy place; things may seem perfect on the inside, but shoving everything else away is flat out unhealthy, like a very real form of escapism. Not everybody sees eye to eye in that regard though, such as with Evan. Battery's seen the brunt of both worlds; neither one she particularly cares for.
Oh, and as for the comment/outline I left in, you wouldn't mind sending me a note telling me where it is would you? I'll get it fixed ASAP; thanks for pointing it out, haha.
The world is definitely something I wanted to build upon ever since Origin's Eve, and I saw this as the perfect chance to do so. The outside world's no happy place; things may seem perfect on the inside, but shoving everything else away is flat out unhealthy, like a very real form of escapism. Not everybody sees eye to eye in that regard though, such as with Evan. Battery's seen the brunt of both worlds; neither one she particularly cares for.
Oh, and as for the comment/outline I left in, you wouldn't mind sending me a note telling me where it is would you? I'll get it fixed ASAP; thanks for pointing it out, haha.
Oh definitely. Neither side of the portal is very sound when you look an inch deeper. The SS might be the right way to go for an average life, but covering up the past and ignoring everything else is deplorable. And the Overflow... well, if you're a small species then that's what you've been dealt, best of luck. Thanks for reading!
Congrats on finishing your longest story to date. Things really started getting good after the first scene with Evan and then even better between Varian and Battery. It really is a good sequel and shows your style expanding, literally and psysically. Part two is awaited. One question, how did Sierra get so ripped? Are all kangaroos so buff or is it just because of previous jobs?
Thanks, it's really been a long time coming. I will say the story took its sweet time getting to the action, but it's good to know it ended up working out for the most part. As for my style... well, I dunno if I'll do very many things this length. Current thing in the works will be my usual 15 pages or less.
Regarding Sienna... she may be ridiculously big, but most of it's just natural bulk. Not all kangaroos are quite her level of huge. X3 Part of it is hereditary, but even her own father can't really hold a candle to her. A lot of it's just genes, luck, and plenty of time in the field.
Regarding Sienna... she may be ridiculously big, but most of it's just natural bulk. Not all kangaroos are quite her level of huge. X3 Part of it is hereditary, but even her own father can't really hold a candle to her. A lot of it's just genes, luck, and plenty of time in the field.
Took me long enough but I finally am all caught up on my Mannoth musings! This was indeed a delightful read, Sir Mannoth! Lavish details sprucing up every scene and conversation along with copious amounts of world building in all different kinds of directions have me hooked. Be it with Dummy and the advancement of AI or the worryingly vague details and capabilities of the SS, you've splayed out multiple threads that can't help but be tugged at.
Then of course there's the fluffy trio of Varian, Battery, and Sienna. The teasing triangle they comprise is always fun to read and indulge in. Even if it is mostly Sienna's doing. |3 All in all, fine work and apologies for taking so long to say so. :3
Then of course there's the fluffy trio of Varian, Battery, and Sienna. The teasing triangle they comprise is always fun to read and indulge in. Even if it is mostly Sienna's doing. |3 All in all, fine work and apologies for taking so long to say so. :3
(Woke up and figured I'd reply before I forgot!) Huzzah! Saying that I'm happy that you enjoyed it is a massive understatement. With how goddamn massive this thing became I was afraid it would daunt a lot of people away.
Bluh such lavish praise! X3 In all seriousness it was a ton of fun weaving everything together. The world is a fanciful but fitful one, fraught and filled with the odd back-and-forth of technology, seeming to falter and surge in places as time goes on. Battery has seen the best and worst of both worlds, one outside the servers and the ones inside, and it's a nagging truth that neither is perfect. Both have flaws; some are just more pronounced.
The love triangle's corners are super sharp! They'll probably round out a bit later, but for now, poor roo doesn't quite know how to spell out her plans or how she feels, while little Varian is trapped snugly between her and Battery. She'll finish pulling the strings when the time is right; as Oak said there's a time and place for everything, but not now! |3
Again, many thanks! And it's no problem Sir Reep! It's a monster of a novella and it means a lot that you read it to begin with. :3
Bluh such lavish praise! X3 In all seriousness it was a ton of fun weaving everything together. The world is a fanciful but fitful one, fraught and filled with the odd back-and-forth of technology, seeming to falter and surge in places as time goes on. Battery has seen the best and worst of both worlds, one outside the servers and the ones inside, and it's a nagging truth that neither is perfect. Both have flaws; some are just more pronounced.
The love triangle's corners are super sharp! They'll probably round out a bit later, but for now, poor roo doesn't quite know how to spell out her plans or how she feels, while little Varian is trapped snugly between her and Battery. She'll finish pulling the strings when the time is right; as Oak said there's a time and place for everything, but not now! |3
Again, many thanks! And it's no problem Sir Reep! It's a monster of a novella and it means a lot that you read it to begin with. :3
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