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Just a story from deviantart. I'm going to move this series here and continue it here.
This is about a fantasy of mine. Just a mysterious teacher comes to my school and well....stuff happens.
This is about a fantasy of mine. Just a mysterious teacher comes to my school and well....stuff happens.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 36.3 kB
This seems like a decently-written story. A bit of advice though: nobody likes reading a wall of text. You need to learn how to properly space your stories (and a bit of improved grammar and spelling wouldn't hurt either).
The following is an example, of such, taken from your story and fixed with proper grammar, spelling, and spacing (and a few words added to give some parts a bit of personal flare).
It was a friday and I was bored out of my mind in biology. While we were working on our tests that were given I heard some students whispering to each other about a new teacher. I leaned over.
"Hey, what new teacher?" I asked.
"A friend who was just in math class said there is a new math teacher!" he said.
"Yeah, my friend told me she is smoking hot!" the other said. I raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Uh...ok."
I went back to work. A new math teacher? I liked the old math teacher; we were able to do whatever we wanted in math class because he was so lazy. He'd just go over the lesson then fall asleep at his desk. We were free to talk, read, or doodle. It didnt matter - we were free. However, I guess the school fired him. After biology it was off to math class. Everyone seemed in a rush to get there...the rumor of the new math teacher was spreading fast. I heard students mummbling about it the whole way. I entered the room and set my stuff down then sat at my desk. It was the same way like any ordinary day in math class. The students were talking, shouting, and throwing paper airplanes. As soon as he clock struck two the door opened and the students immediately fell silent. The new teacher stepped in.
She wore jeans, a white shirt with a tie, and reading glass - the kind usually seen by librarians. I think they were like reading glasses I wasnt too sure. I looked around the room. Any student that were guys were staring. I found myself staring too. She was actually as attractive as I heard.
"Good day, class," she greeted. "As you may not know, your old math teacher, Mr. Franklin, was recently fired. I've been hired as your new math teacher. My name is Mrs. Athena," she said as she wrote her name on the board.
I found her beautiful, but at least I wasnt like a zombie was staring and drooling. I looked around and some of the guys were drooling on themselves: some stared with open mouths while others pulled out their iphones and ipods to take pictures. She started passing around tests.
"Now, today we'll not be going over lessons. We'll be taking a test on friday," she said.
As she walked down a row of desks a student leaned over and took a picture of her backside with his iphone and chuckled to himself. She heard the camera go off and stopped to snatch it from him.
"Hey!" he shouted, trying to take it back.
She deleted the picture on his phone and placed it in her pocket.
"You'll get it back once you finish your test," she said before going back to passing the test around.
The student was pouting.
"I'm not in kindergarden," he mummbled.
She sat at her desk.
"Pass your test up to me once you're finished," she instructed as she started going over paper work.
Time flew as I worked on my test. Every now and then I'd look up and one or two students would pass up their test. The guy from earlier passed up his test and got his phone back. He looked disappointed to see his pictures of Mrs. Athena and camera app deleted. I was the last to pass it up. She started grading our tests.
The clock read three when she was finally done grading the tests.
"Now class, I'm impressed with some of you," she said as she handed us our tests. "Some of you did good, some of you need work."
when she gave me my test she looked down at me.
"And some need to study more..." she said.
I swallowed nerviously as she leaned in to whisper.
"I'm really disappointed with how you did," she said.
I looked down at my test and I saw it had been marked with a large, red F.
People space their stories differently - some, like me, use double-return, and others just hit return and tab the beginning of the paragraph over. It's up to you. However, one important thing to note from this example is that dialogue always gets its own paragraph. It's an important rule, but an easy one to forget.
The following is an example, of such, taken from your story and fixed with proper grammar, spelling, and spacing (and a few words added to give some parts a bit of personal flare).
It was a friday and I was bored out of my mind in biology. While we were working on our tests that were given I heard some students whispering to each other about a new teacher. I leaned over.
"Hey, what new teacher?" I asked.
"A friend who was just in math class said there is a new math teacher!" he said.
"Yeah, my friend told me she is smoking hot!" the other said. I raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Uh...ok."
I went back to work. A new math teacher? I liked the old math teacher; we were able to do whatever we wanted in math class because he was so lazy. He'd just go over the lesson then fall asleep at his desk. We were free to talk, read, or doodle. It didnt matter - we were free. However, I guess the school fired him. After biology it was off to math class. Everyone seemed in a rush to get there...the rumor of the new math teacher was spreading fast. I heard students mummbling about it the whole way. I entered the room and set my stuff down then sat at my desk. It was the same way like any ordinary day in math class. The students were talking, shouting, and throwing paper airplanes. As soon as he clock struck two the door opened and the students immediately fell silent. The new teacher stepped in.
She wore jeans, a white shirt with a tie, and reading glass - the kind usually seen by librarians. I think they were like reading glasses I wasnt too sure. I looked around the room. Any student that were guys were staring. I found myself staring too. She was actually as attractive as I heard.
"Good day, class," she greeted. "As you may not know, your old math teacher, Mr. Franklin, was recently fired. I've been hired as your new math teacher. My name is Mrs. Athena," she said as she wrote her name on the board.
I found her beautiful, but at least I wasnt like a zombie was staring and drooling. I looked around and some of the guys were drooling on themselves: some stared with open mouths while others pulled out their iphones and ipods to take pictures. She started passing around tests.
"Now, today we'll not be going over lessons. We'll be taking a test on friday," she said.
As she walked down a row of desks a student leaned over and took a picture of her backside with his iphone and chuckled to himself. She heard the camera go off and stopped to snatch it from him.
"Hey!" he shouted, trying to take it back.
She deleted the picture on his phone and placed it in her pocket.
"You'll get it back once you finish your test," she said before going back to passing the test around.
The student was pouting.
"I'm not in kindergarden," he mummbled.
She sat at her desk.
"Pass your test up to me once you're finished," she instructed as she started going over paper work.
Time flew as I worked on my test. Every now and then I'd look up and one or two students would pass up their test. The guy from earlier passed up his test and got his phone back. He looked disappointed to see his pictures of Mrs. Athena and camera app deleted. I was the last to pass it up. She started grading our tests.
The clock read three when she was finally done grading the tests.
"Now class, I'm impressed with some of you," she said as she handed us our tests. "Some of you did good, some of you need work."
when she gave me my test she looked down at me.
"And some need to study more..." she said.
I swallowed nerviously as she leaned in to whisper.
"I'm really disappointed with how you did," she said.
I looked down at my test and I saw it had been marked with a large, red F.
People space their stories differently - some, like me, use double-return, and others just hit return and tab the beginning of the paragraph over. It's up to you. However, one important thing to note from this example is that dialogue always gets its own paragraph. It's an important rule, but an easy one to forget.
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