you'll be ok
its going to take a long time, but you'll be ok
you fell in love
you moved for him
he wasn't truthful with you
he replaced you with someone else
almost as soon as you got there
something bad happened and you're not sure if you should tell anyone what
you don't want to ruin things
you're afraid he'll do the same thing to her
you want to protect her from the same heartbreak
you can't even think about them without tears coming to your eyes
tears turn to anger but it slowly fades each time
you end up alone on your bed, trying to get rid of the thoughts
you'll be ok it'll go away with time
your broken and bruised heart will mend

you're parents love you, they love you so much.
they aren't disappointed with you
they want to see you happy
i know you feel like you've let them down
its okay you can make it up to them
you'll show them that they raised a truly exceptional daughter

you lost shepard
you lost mordecai
you just lost jeremy
you're afraid you'll lose tiberius
you're afraid you'll lose all of your animals
you're afraid you're a bad animal mommy because you've lost so many recently

you're afraid to love
you're afraid it'll just be another charade
you don't want to trust anyone
but you will one day
and if another breaks your heart
your friends will rise up and break his head

you're afraid you bother your friends too much
you're afraid they think that you are annoying and don't like you much
but they keep you around anyways because they know you have no one else

it's ok to cry you've been through a lot
you've got a huge heart
you're mad at them. you hate them. you want to see their lives ruined.
but you know that if they need your help
you'll do your best to help either one
because you're the protector and the mother
its in your nature, it always has been
its how you've been since you were in grade school
no matter how horrible the other kids were
you still gave them a billion chances to be your friend

but do me a favor
stop worrying about everyone else
stop worrying about making your friends happy or laugh
stop worrying about them for a little while
worry about yourself. you don't eat, sleep, go outside.
you take better care of your reptiles than you do yourself
take care of yourself for once, please
for once, don't fucking care what anyone else thinks

you'll find someone eventually
someone who will give you all the hot sex you desire. he'll pay attention and do what you like.
who will sleep next to you at night and you get to wake up in the morning in the best ways possible, be it a surprise blowjob, giving him a kiss, or jumping on the bed yelling "WAKEY WAKEY MR SLEEPYHEAD" or you'll toss a snake on the bed, all of those are quite reasonable for you
you'll watch all the movies in your pj's and cuddle during the scary parts
he won't make fun of your mental disabilities or say they 'aren't real' and that its just a 'mindset' he'll understand how it is for you and he'll do his best to make it easier for you.
he'll watch you draw for hours and encourage you to try new things
he'll play video games with you and let you do your own thing and you'll let him do his
he'll understand when you're upset and do his best to comfort you. even if it's holding you in his arms and just being quiet. You will comfort him when he is upset, even if he needs to be alone for a while.
he'll understand that you're sensitive and even if he doesn't care, he'll reply with "it'll be ok", dry your eyes, and hug you instead of saying "it's just a cat there are 30 million more stop crying"
he'll make you tea or hot chocolate when you're feeling down and you'll do the same when he's had a rough day
he'll take care of you when you're sick and you'll take care of him.
he'll encourage you to do whatever you love and you will do the same for him
you will be honest with him and he will be honest with you. even if it hurts, honesty is incredibly important and you will make sure he understands that
you will give him your heart. it may be broken, shattered, but it's still capable of strong love. and he will do the same for you.

and if he breaks it
destroy
him

you're trying really hard. you're doing the best you can. it's going to be okay.