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I just had to go back and re-write this part. I thought it was all good, but going back, I found so many mistakes. A big one was that I was inconsistent on the point of view. Originally it was written in third person, but then changed to first person, and then BACK to third person. There were glaring issues that occurred with those changes. Also, the tense was inconsistent, going from past tense to present tense and then back to past tense.
Any feedback would be amazing :) Part three is currently being written and should be done soon! Thanks :)
Fun Fact: Almost all characters in this story have last names that correlate with their personality. "Cole" means warrior. "Trinette" means innocent little.
PREVIOUS PART
I just had to go back and re-write this part. I thought it was all good, but going back, I found so many mistakes. A big one was that I was inconsistent on the point of view. Originally it was written in third person, but then changed to first person, and then BACK to third person. There were glaring issues that occurred with those changes. Also, the tense was inconsistent, going from past tense to present tense and then back to past tense.
Any feedback would be amazing :) Part three is currently being written and should be done soon! Thanks :)
Fun Fact: Almost all characters in this story have last names that correlate with their personality. "Cole" means warrior. "Trinette" means innocent little.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 236.2 kB
It's a difficult thing to leave your love behind. I would feel just like Damien did prior to leaving. Having to be forced to leave behind what matters most to you. Everyone wishes they could have the best of both worlds. But we all have a duty to our own. Love will always be that comforting distraction that is in all of us.
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