Firstly, I liked it by the time I finished. I'm going to give some honest feedback and some suggestions, which I hope is okay with you.

It's starting to get interesting by the end, but it's a bit slow to get there. Their mother's death felt laboured, and the bit about their escape was really short. Here's a suggestion: Perhaps instead of starting with their mother, why not start with the escape? That could be an engaging start for the reader, and then maybe have one of the brothers reveal the part about their mother to Volusa later on.

There's a few tortured sentences in the first few parts (including, I hate to say it, the very first sentence). Often times its better to just structure the whole sentence a different way, or break it into multiple sentences. Take for e.g.: "She was one of the wives of the last king and the current king who was son to the last didn't want her around." I can see what you're trying to say, but it's really convoluted, and too much to try and say in one sentence. I'd suggest giving the kings names, her relationship, going into just a little more detail about how the old king was deposed (or maybe how long ago he was deposed, something that describes the progression of the time-line with more colour than just "last" and "current"), and after that, then make the statement that the new guy didn't want her around.

Happily, there are less of these sort of problematic sentences as you progress through.

I found the dialog weird in places, changing from oddly formal (the brothers always call each other "brother", never (or almost) referring to each other by name, which I think is odd, and say "mother" instead of mom) to colloquial (f-bombs, conjunctions, etc) without much if any justification. And the f-bombs just seem really weird, out of place, and unnecessary to me. Perhaps you envisage a world where all this is normal, which is fine, but it just seemed weird as I read it. I think some more consistency would help.

A few more commas in some places would probably help a bit, too, to ensure correct reading rhythm (e.g. the "king" sentence above). Also, I think you should avoid the word "obviously". The narrator is omniscient, so nothing is really "obvious" to him - it just "is". A character is fine to say something is obvious, but it seems really weird, perhaps redundant, to me for the narrator to say it.

I could make a bunch more pointers for improvement of specific pieces. If you're interested I could note them to you.

It's not all bad, though. I quite liked the bit where the twins were facing the meerkats. That was harsh. I reckon that sequence would probably benefit from a little expansion and some more details, particularly about the crowd, to flesh it out some more.

I hope this is helpful.

This is actually the kind of feedback I needed, thank you.

I originally though the mother's death would've been the best point to start because I think it's a symbolic point, but you might be on to something with the escape being better. I'm just not sure how to detail it out or make it interesting atm. I'll have to see how I can improve it or change it. Which also kinda addresses your second point.

Hmm... well perhaps less formal would be better and probably flesh out the characters more; I'm probably having a poor time defining the brothers as characters. (Not exactly sure on this.)

Thanks for what suggestions you've given and please if you have more I could use them.

Interesting little piece. Seeing that most submissions I haven't commented in your gallery are character sheets or government profiles, I think this is the second last piece of prose I have not yet read from you. And now I read this. And I was entertained.

Part of this was familiar to me, as I remember your Thursday Prompt responses quite well, but I found this interesting and entertaining nonetheless. I write no critique this time, I see somebody gave you a great piece of critique already. The only thing I want to point is the use of numerals in prose. I have commented about this in the past, so you know the thing. But yeah, the story is great, I like Volusa, the mute cape dog is very interesting character, and while this feels a bit drafty, I think there is a certain difference between the brothers, I can see their different personalities. Their interaction is great, as the other is more of an optimist and the other a bit of a cynic.

Great work, I enjoyed reading this.