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Every day I'm in pain
It feels like a physical pressure pushing down on my heart and my brain
Some days it's not as bad, some days it's so bad I feel like it's physically holding me down
But it's always there
Thank you life, for proving my point, that I should never get attached to anyone or anything because it could be yanked away from me at any moment
Living is so fcking painful right now
I'm trying to keep pushing on but it's really hard
There's a hole in my body and heart and I can't seem to recover
Saturday before last (I think? I've lost all concept of days and time)
I legit tried to kill myself
I was taken in to the hospital
They changed up my meds and gave me some tranquilizers for when I'm having a panic attack
I don't want to die
But I also don't want to live in constant pain
When I'm in this much pain I start thinking irrationally and selfishly when is when I try to get rid of myself
Suicide is serious and I don't talk about it for pity or attention
I'm venting it out because FA is the most understanding place I have
I'm just... ugh
I feel pathetic
It feels like a physical pressure pushing down on my heart and my brain
Some days it's not as bad, some days it's so bad I feel like it's physically holding me down
But it's always there
Thank you life, for proving my point, that I should never get attached to anyone or anything because it could be yanked away from me at any moment
Living is so fcking painful right now
I'm trying to keep pushing on but it's really hard
There's a hole in my body and heart and I can't seem to recover
Saturday before last (I think? I've lost all concept of days and time)
I legit tried to kill myself
I was taken in to the hospital
They changed up my meds and gave me some tranquilizers for when I'm having a panic attack
I don't want to die
But I also don't want to live in constant pain
When I'm in this much pain I start thinking irrationally and selfishly when is when I try to get rid of myself
Suicide is serious and I don't talk about it for pity or attention
I'm venting it out because FA is the most understanding place I have
I'm just... ugh
I feel pathetic
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1229 x 922px
File Size 158.9 kB
Listed in Folders
It's okay. I'm seeking help for it. It...isn't easy...I have so much spark in me, but it's just frustrating watching it flicker like a pilot light. When will it be my turn to reawaken? That enough is really draining.
Although it could be a chemical imbalance, something has he to have trigger it. To me depressn doesn't just happen on a whim. It can be a whole bunch of. Factors from spirit, mind and/or body (genetics, chemical influence, etc).
We all hurt deep inside and medicine may only do so much. But does it really take the pain away? Or just merely cover it up hang we forget about it?
In the past 2-3 years after I've been clinically diagnosed with PTSD, I've been searching for the root of it all. I did find it eventually, but it wasnt just one thing.
Visually it's like one of those PowerPoint presentation of a large circles with many smaller circles radiating from it.
Perhaps try searching for what may fill that void. Meditation?
Although it could be a chemical imbalance, something has he to have trigger it. To me depressn doesn't just happen on a whim. It can be a whole bunch of. Factors from spirit, mind and/or body (genetics, chemical influence, etc).
We all hurt deep inside and medicine may only do so much. But does it really take the pain away? Or just merely cover it up hang we forget about it?
In the past 2-3 years after I've been clinically diagnosed with PTSD, I've been searching for the root of it all. I did find it eventually, but it wasnt just one thing.
Visually it's like one of those PowerPoint presentation of a large circles with many smaller circles radiating from it.
Perhaps try searching for what may fill that void. Meditation?
Thanks love. I'm sorry to hear of your pain and troubles. It is really hard, I know. I probably don't need to vent since I vent a lot already but thank you very much. I will keep your.offer in mind for the next time I feel really low. Thank you for commenting and caring and being there .
The thing is, you probably were there for me and I chose not to talk to you, or to anyone. When I get into that state of mind I don't think rationally. I think "everyone's tired of my sob story" "I'll talk to someone but things will just go back to being bad again so it's pointless" etc. On top of that and being ashamed for feeling depressed, the physical pain is so bad to the point where I don't care what I do, I just want it to stop.
I'm so sorry for being such a worrisome friend. It must be stressful or sad to see me acting like this all.the time. I have friends like me too and it's frustrating because you want to help but they won't let you, or there is no way to help. But sorry. :(
I don't know what I did to earn your friendship and love but I'm really happy and grateful that I did.
I'm so sorry for being such a worrisome friend. It must be stressful or sad to see me acting like this all.the time. I have friends like me too and it's frustrating because you want to help but they won't let you, or there is no way to help. But sorry. :(
I don't know what I did to earn your friendship and love but I'm really happy and grateful that I did.
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