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285 – No Presents
Then why was he handing out presents before???? I hate to brag, but I am rather pleased with how the whole mythology of evil Santa hangs together. It all kiiiind of makes sense, to me at least!
The idea about Mrs.Claus came from Aurelina, when we were discussing how gross it is in holiday movies where they have a normal (ie old) Santa paired with a sexy young Mrs Claus. Whenever I mention this to people, they always argue that Mrs Claus is usually old. Then I realized that the only movie that I can think of that has a young Mrs Claus is The Santa Clause 2. Or 3? I forget which one it is that has Mrs. Claus appear. Anyway, the plot of that movie is that Tim Allen’s son is being disruptive at school and spraypainting holiday-themed graffiti all over the place because his grinchy principal won’t let anyone decorate the school for Christmas because of a pesky little thing called SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE. The principal’s name in the film was Carol Newman, and I spent the whole movie wondering whether they intentionally picked a name for the character that codes as Jewish. Anyway, in the end, she falls in love with Tim Allen and becomes Mrs. Claus, but while Tim Allen turned old and fat when he became Santa, she only gets, like, some holly leaves in her hair. Anyway, that movie is kind of dumb!
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Category Artwork (Traditional) / Comics
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File Size 317.5 kB
And right about now is when the REAL Santa shows up and kicks this wizard right in the pants wait what did he just say?
I take it that Mrs. Claus isn't part of all this... unless she's actually the power behind the throne, or possibly a brain in a jar by now. "YOUR YOUTH AND ENERGY WILL KEEP THIS BRAIN FRESH ANOTHER YEAR! *lecherous salivating* Seriously though, I do appreciate how he's willing to kidnap and murder fifty children a year in order to keep a pair of boobs from drooping. Dedication to priorities is sexy.
"That [Tim Allen] movie is kind of dumb!" Redundancy alert! They had to code the principal's name as Jewish, because there's no such thing as an "atheist name", ya see.
Why does Nackles keep holding on to Nate? It's not exactly creepy (for him), just kind of weird, like he forgot he had a fat kid on the end of his arm or he's trying to become a Voltron wizard made of kids. Maybe the elves will revolt and he'll have to punch a big one with Nate. Or maybe Mrs. Claus wants kids and the only one not stupid enough to fall for this con is the only one worth keeping. That makes me wonder, though: Why IS Nate here? Does Nacks invite indiscriminately? Does he have a quota for religious minorities (Thanks, Obama)? Does he break up the routine by intentionally inviting skeptics every so often, thus giving himself an excuse to monologue before someone smarter than a zwarte piet? SO MANY QUESTIONS ARGHLEBLARG
Last panel: Fred, Shaggy, Scooby (thus the animal costume), Daphne... and Velma is currently serving as Nackles' hand puppet.
Finally: I just realized that the stuffed alligator in Nackles' flashback laboratory is probably a reference to the Tough Guide To Fantasyland.
I take it that Mrs. Claus isn't part of all this... unless she's actually the power behind the throne, or possibly a brain in a jar by now. "YOUR YOUTH AND ENERGY WILL KEEP THIS BRAIN FRESH ANOTHER YEAR! *lecherous salivating* Seriously though, I do appreciate how he's willing to kidnap and murder fifty children a year in order to keep a pair of boobs from drooping. Dedication to priorities is sexy.
"That [Tim Allen] movie is kind of dumb!" Redundancy alert! They had to code the principal's name as Jewish, because there's no such thing as an "atheist name", ya see.
Why does Nackles keep holding on to Nate? It's not exactly creepy (for him), just kind of weird, like he forgot he had a fat kid on the end of his arm or he's trying to become a Voltron wizard made of kids. Maybe the elves will revolt and he'll have to punch a big one with Nate. Or maybe Mrs. Claus wants kids and the only one not stupid enough to fall for this con is the only one worth keeping. That makes me wonder, though: Why IS Nate here? Does Nacks invite indiscriminately? Does he have a quota for religious minorities (Thanks, Obama)? Does he break up the routine by intentionally inviting skeptics every so often, thus giving himself an excuse to monologue before someone smarter than a zwarte piet? SO MANY QUESTIONS ARGHLEBLARG
Last panel: Fred, Shaggy, Scooby (thus the animal costume), Daphne... and Velma is currently serving as Nackles' hand puppet.
Finally: I just realized that the stuffed alligator in Nackles' flashback laboratory is probably a reference to the Tough Guide To Fantasyland.
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