For those of us who happened to be nerds and who grew up in the dark ages of the late 80s to mid 90s life was rather hard. There was no such thing as amazon or ebay, no one-click online ordering and two day delivery. Generally when something went off the shelves it was just as well gone forever, good luck finding it.

The same thing was true generally across the board. Sure comics and magazines had a PO box that you could write into and hope that they still had back issues but in many cases you were shit outta luck. Sometimes they’d respond other times you might as well send a note in a bottle. In those years so long ago I can vividly remember hiking from store to store trying to find exactly what I was looking for and being ecstatic if they actually happened to have it.

Here we have Lego in the middle of his never ending quest for issue number zero. Lego is a white cage raised domestic rat, also know as a “fancy” rat. Though he doesn’t look quite so fancy now the never ending quest for issue zero demands that one rise above fleeting petty concerns such as fleas, greasy fur and personal body odor. Only then does issue zero reveal itself in the trash bins behind better comic and hobby shops.

Lego is the anthropomorphic animal-based character I use to represent myself*. I named him Lego because I used to live across the street from a garbage dump and spent much of my childhood scavenging in the trash for toys, particularly legos.


*Notice I didn’t say fursona, ever the politician I am.