Well its been a while, well first, this is a comdey, two,mues Avril Lavigne is my celeberity crush, get used to that because im going to write about that alot, and three, if you hate crappy stories, leave now...


There was an person named Willis who was on a plane to Australia, though he was reluctant to go, he never wanted to go there. On the plane, Willis was having some fear about flying because plane crashes are his 6th biggest fear, so he tried to call his girlfriend to try to comfort himself. His girlfriend is Avril Lavigne for the record.

"Hey, hey, you, you, guess who called his girlfriend!" he said/sang into his iPhone, impressing the people ahead of him and annoying the person beside him.

"Hey Willi$, how's the flight, I'm surprised you went through with this, this is like two of your fears combined," she said back, though due to plane interference it was kinda muffled, but he understood her.

"Well I knew what I was getting into when I got on that game show, though I wanted to win a trip to Canada, see what your home country is all about, but now I need to go to the place that freaks me out the most," Willis said as he gave his peanuts to the next row, as he is allergic to them, another reason why he heats planes.

"Geese Willis, why do you hate Australia so much?"

"Don't laugh at me but the idea of standing upside down scares me to death, I don't care what any text book says, the thought of that freaks me out, you're lucky, Canada is like the least upside down part of the world,"

"Oh, haha, I'm sorry but that's kinda funny, and you know I'm gonna ask this but, why you gotta make things so complicated...?" she jokingly said back, knowing Willis would get the joke.

"Yea, I love that joke, but for now I'm just gonna deal with it, just don't record that song I wrote until I get back, 100 Years Ago is a duet and it needs both of us to record it, ok?"

"Don't worry, my producer has the flu anyway so I've got time to spare, and I'll be sure to make sure the girl from the Rock N Roll music video I kissed who I'm secretly seeing behind your back leaves by Tuesday," she jokingly said.

"Okay... or not, she could stay... haha, see ya Lavigne!" he said, knowing the joke and playing along as he hung up his phone. "Hey stewardess, can I please get some coffee?"

"Oh sure." she said.

"Oh thanks, non fat reduced heat white chocolate mocha soy latte topped with whip cream and cinnamon with an extra shot of espresso please," he jokingly said as she walked off annoyed. "Okay I'm going to get extra spit in my coffee aren't I...?"

Five hours later Willis's plane had arrived and he was afraid to let go of his seat in fear of falling off the earth. After the stewardess asked (by yelling at him to get off) he had left the plane and awkwardly walked over to the baggage claim, like he was trying to make his feet latch onto the floor. Once he grabbed his luggage he got a cab and went to his hotel, at that point he was getting used to being upside down, though he was grateful his suite was on the ground floor. The first thing he wanted to do is go exploring the desert and try and see some wildlife. He wanted to call Avril Lavigne and tell him that he didn't fall off the earth.

"Hello Kitty, I'm still on earth and I'm still seventeen years old so this trip is going well so far."

"Here's to Never Growing Up! So you're not freaking out yet, great, just come back soon, When
You're Gone the pieces of my heart are missing you!"

"Don't worry, I don't plan to stay upside down for very long, and I've gotta go, this call probably already cost me 30 dollars, see ya girl!" he said as he hung up.

After twenty minutes of hiking he saw a cute little echidna, but as he looked at him, it ran away. He then saw a dingo and naturally ran away, or at least until he heard him say something, that's right, the dingo said something.

"Don't run, I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk," the dingo said with a heavy Australian accent.

"Um, yea, okay... so many questions, one, why are you talking to me, two, how are you talking to me, three, do you have a name, and lastly, why did I write that Avril Lavigne is my girlfriend in this story, she's way out of my league," Willis said in response to the dingo.

"Well I know you aren't happy here and I think I can help you out with that, but first I need to know why you hate Australia so badly, and my name is Bingo, Bingo the Dingo, it's got a nice ring to it," Bingo the Dingo said in response, wow he's right, that does have a nice ring to it.

"Um, yea I'm still a little confused, how the crap are you talking, and I don't hate Australia, I just don't like the idea of standing upside down, I'm afraid to go to South America too, but how did you know that, and why do you care Bingo the Dingo, wow that does have a nice ring to it," Willis responded.

"Well I care because you wrote me that way, duh, but that aside, I can assure you that this is a nice place to live, honestly by the end of this conversation you will never want to leave, and your fear will be gone, I know exactly how to cure your fear, do you want me to?" the dingo asked in a persuading tone that sounds really interesting with his Australian accent.

"Okay dude, you sound really, almost suspiciously convincing, and I gotta say I love that accent but this is all kinda iffy, and also..." he began until the dingo walked up close to him, and pounced him like a dog, which made Willis nervous at first until he realized he wasn't in trouble and started to play with the dingo like it was a Jack Russell Terrier. Willis sat down on a rock and kept petting the dingo, he felt kinda happy. After a few minutes the dingo looked into Willis's eyes and suddenly Willis started to pet him slower and slower, until the dingo spoke to him again.

"I can see you are not afraid anymore, how do you feel now?" he asked in a more sinister tone, still gazing into the human's eyes.

"I feel really... good, I feel really... happy," he responded, slowly petting the dingo.

"I can tell you that this feeling doesn't need to fade, just keep listening to my voice and looking into my eyes... my nice Australian eyes," Bingo the Dingo said, wow that really does get more fun to say the more you say it. "Come with me, there's someone I want you to meet." the dingo said as he walked off with Willis following.

The dingo lead the person to a kangaroo reserve filled with lots of, well you should know by the name, if not, then your parents must have made some terrible mistakes, wait of course they have, you are dumb enough to read this far into this crappy story written by someone who is hopelessly in love with Avril Lavigne. "Okay so I'm gonna guess that man dressed so stereotypically Australian is who you wanted me to see, but seriously he looks like a cross between a cowboy and a safari explorer, how racist is that?" The dingo lead him to this man and he introduced himself.

"Good'ay mate, I see you found my pet dingo out in the desert, he's always gettin' into trouble like that, when he was gone I was all..." the man began until he was interrupted.

"If you say kriecky I'm gonna flick that hat right off of you, now can you explain how he can talk and why he lead me here?" Willis demanded, as he grabbed onto the hand bar, remembering that he was upside down on earth, he is so paranoid.

"Well follow me out back into the shed and help me get the feed for me kangaroos and I'll answer any question you've got!" the man said as he got off his chair, went towards the shed with the dingo following, and Willis reluctantly letting go of the rail and follows.

"So what does this dingo want, why does he have this weird interest in me and why did you just lock the door?" Willis asked as the man locked the door with him, Willis, and the dingo inside. The man then took out a long flute looking instrument and gained a weird smirk on his face.

"Well first I'd like to show ya my ancient didgeridoo, it's over 4,000 years old and I got it for $20 dollars at a flea market," he began.

"Okay one, how could something that old be that cheap? And two, why should I care?" Willis sarcastically asked as he grabbed onto the wall, this dude just't can't be convinced.

"Well this ancient instrument has some... special... powers to it, and you are just the person we think should hear it..." said Bingo the Dingo, with a sinister tone.

"Ugh fine, but after I do can I please leave, I need to call my girlfriend and I can't get a cell signal here!"

The man put the instrument into his mouth, and blew one note, held that note, and never once changed key. There was something off about the note, as Willis heard it, he felt odd, all his fears had faded, but his eyes were closed due to the loud volume. Once the loud note ended, Willis took his hands of his ears and opened his eyes which have become thin red spirals rotating clockwise in one eye and counter clockwise in the other.

"Now American, listen to me, you are from now on a kangaroo..." the dingo said in a both sinister and demanding tone.

"I am a kangaroo... yes Bingo the dingo my master..." Willis said in a slow tone, but also with a new Australian accent.

"You have always been a kangaroo, you love beein' a kangaroo, this kangaroo farm is your home, you want to live on this kangaroo farm with your fellow kangaroos, you want to jump, run, kick, and all the sorts, because that's what kangaroos do, and you're nothing but a happy, healthy, and smelly kangaroo, do you understand?" the dingo asked.

"Yes master, I love being a kangaroo, I want to live here on the kangaroo farm forever running, jumping, and kicking, just like the smelly little kangaroo you made me into Bingo the dingo my master..." Willis said, with some changes. Willis's body began to grow twice it's size, his arms shrank, he sprouted fur, his face rearranged, he grew a tail, and his stomach opened into a pouch, he was simply a kangaroo, and he didn't want it any other way.

"Great, the transformation is complete, come on Bruno, kangaroos do not go into the shed, they stay outside and hop with the others, come Bruno..." the old stereotype said as he and his dingo walked out the door, with Bruno hopping out eager to join his family in hopping high off the ground.

His fear is gone, he no longer fears falling off the world, now he jumps upside down everyday and loves it. He will never leave Australia again, he just wants to be a kangaroo and live with the other kangaroos, and his new master, Bingo the Dingo. And don't worry about his girlfriend, I'm sure Avril Lavigne will be able to deal with loosing Willis, her husband should help her take care of that and... *ringtone of Avril Lavigne's new single Screw you Willis goes off* hold on my phone is ringing...

"WILLIS IS A (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP...) HE LEFT ME SO (BEEP) SO FAR UP HIS (BEEEEEEP...)"

"Hello? I'm sorry you have the wrong number..."