"People tell me all the time that I'm very well adjusted to living on this planet. That my language is near perfect and I have no accent to speak of, that I'm friendly and outgoing and brave (that last one usually after seeing me fight some form of nasty monster), and they would never guess that I wasn't native.

That's because they've never seen me once the sun goes down.

I might seem well adjusted, but the past haunts me. My mind replays it in my sleep, over and over, the Downfall of the Silivar, all the others doomed until I'm the last one left. It twists it and warps it, making it even more horrifying, until the actual catastrophe would seem tame in comparison. It makes it my fault somehow, makes me feel like I could've prevented it.

I wake up terrified and in tears. I often forget where I am for a moment. But I never scream. It doesn't happen very often anymore, but there was a time when it did every single night. I doubt it will ever stop completely."

---

So it's two in the morning and I'm up drawing because nightmares suck. Sometimes spilling your feelings right onto the page is very theraputic. So in a sense I guess this is vent art, but it also tells some of Lunari's secrets...

There was a period back in '05, referred to as the "pre anxiety med era", when I woke up every night terrified and unable to go back to sleep. Lunari kinda got stuck with this. I try to give some of myself to the characters I create, which means the ones I care about the most are the ones that get to go through hell.

Drawn and inked on paper (le gasp!) with an ultra-fine Sharpie. For once didn't have to try and hide several inking errors or bust out the white-out, hooray! If only the subject matter wasn't so dark. I want to try and color this traditionally too, get some practice in, but decided to scan the outlines first just in case that doesn't work out so I can color it digitally.

But probably not at school. Because dang, I draw some dark stuff sometimes.

Gonna try going back to bed now...

UPDATE: Colored! Finally.