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Thank you Doug the Husky for this cover photo!
Video here! Thanks to LostWolf!
====
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M10TBCBBM8
====
FC was a very interesting con for me this year. I can say that I had lots of fun, and being able to participate in the dance comp was an amazing experience. Major props for those that made it happen!
FC was also a difficult time for me this year, as it was the first con that I have been to where a very good friend of mine was missing for the first time.
Last year, my good friend frostdemn was taken from this earth in his sleep all of a sudden. Nobody knew, nobody could have suspected it would happen. it came out of nowhere.
Luis (Frost) has an interesting history with me. I first met him many years ago at a "Brony" meet up that was actually my first step into any sort of Fandom. I was a nervous teen who had lots of social anxiety, and going into this strange meet up had me totally nervous. I was scared, I had been rejected a lot and was wary of people at that point, and the very first person to spot me and greet me was Luis. He ended up breaking me into the group and showing so much kindness to me early on. He made me feel comfortable and part of the group. Over the years, he continued to always be super kind to me and made me feel like I belonged. Even when the brony fandom grew dead to me and I grew more in the furry fandom, he was always there are hung out with me, and always made me feel ok with myself.
I have issues with who I am, and Luis was always very encouraging and one of the only people I truly felt accepted me for who I was.
Some of you may not know him, but if you have been to past furcons and saw a white RC tank with a Pinkie Pie plushie riding on top of it roaming around and interacting with fursuiters, that was Luis' doing. It was one of his favorite things to do at every con we went to. It's also the last memory I have of him as I saw him last when I sat and talked with him at FC 2014 last year as he drove the cart about.
The news of Luis' death I remember struck me, but for whatever reason I never fully grieved about it. I think for months I was still in some sort of shock. Maybe thinking to myself it was all a dream, and come FC, I would see him there, and that white Pinkie tank would be driving around just as before. But of course, I found myself at FC, and the tank was absent.
After Luis' death, I knew that I wanted to do a tribute to him somehow, and I felt that expressing what I felt through dance, at his favorite event would be something that would be a good tribute to him. It was a weird feeling planning the dance through the months though as despite doing the motions, I felt that the real pain I was feeling wasn't there somehow, because I didn't fully grasp that he was gone.
Friday afternoon, the realization that Luis was truly gone was hitting me hard all day, and Chatah was noticing I was not myself. I went back to the hotel room as I got ready for the dance comp preliminaries and laid down. I felt totally broken, and for the first time since Luis' death, I finally grieved harder than I ever have before. I laid there with Chatah holding me as I cried for far too long constantly asking "Why? Why did he have to go? I dont understand!" It was like everything came crashing down on me and I was literally broken hearted and deeply pained. As the minutes went by and I opened up to Chatah about why this was so hard for me and why I was not myself, Chatah asked me something very profound.
"Do you think he would have wanted you to be sad this whole con? Or would he have wanted you to have fun?"
I took a while to think about it, and remembering Luis and what he was and how he was, I realized that Chatah was right. Luis was always about fun, and always wanted everyone to have a good time. Crying in a dark hotel room and confining myself would be the last thing he would have wanted for me.
With this realization, I realized what I had to do, and with a new mindset, I went about the con.
As it turned out, I ended up making it to finals, which that alone is a huge deal for me. I grew up watching FCDC's over the years, and being part of the finalist was a huge thing to me. I knew my routine was going to be very different than what everyone else was doing, and I knew that many might not understand, or maybe find it ridiculous. But I told myself that I wasn't doing this for recognition as a dancer, or to be seen as "good" by audience and judges. I was going out to pay my tribute to Luis and express what I was feeling inside.
From the start, I heard the audience laugh a bit, I had expected as such honestly, I mean, no matter how serious or expressive you try to be, the fact is, you are in a giant cartoon animal. But regardless, I set out to do what I wanted to do. I ended up fully losing myself in the routine and midway started flowing tears. But I finished my routine and very awkwardly tried to wipe away the tears, only realizing there was a giant foam head in the way of my eyes haha.
I didn't know what to expect following that routine, but I ended up having many people compliment me about it later. I was very grateful.
It's been half a year since Luis left our world, and I hope I can see him again some day in the afterlife. I hope wherever he is that he can know just how much his friendship and acceptance meant to me through the years. And I can only hope my dance tribute could express how much he meant to me.
Thank you for all you did for me Frost. PonyKart will live on forever. Much love.
-Jei
Video here! Thanks to LostWolf!
====
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M10TBCBBM8
====
FC was a very interesting con for me this year. I can say that I had lots of fun, and being able to participate in the dance comp was an amazing experience. Major props for those that made it happen!
FC was also a difficult time for me this year, as it was the first con that I have been to where a very good friend of mine was missing for the first time.
Last year, my good friend frostdemn was taken from this earth in his sleep all of a sudden. Nobody knew, nobody could have suspected it would happen. it came out of nowhere.
Luis (Frost) has an interesting history with me. I first met him many years ago at a "Brony" meet up that was actually my first step into any sort of Fandom. I was a nervous teen who had lots of social anxiety, and going into this strange meet up had me totally nervous. I was scared, I had been rejected a lot and was wary of people at that point, and the very first person to spot me and greet me was Luis. He ended up breaking me into the group and showing so much kindness to me early on. He made me feel comfortable and part of the group. Over the years, he continued to always be super kind to me and made me feel like I belonged. Even when the brony fandom grew dead to me and I grew more in the furry fandom, he was always there are hung out with me, and always made me feel ok with myself.
I have issues with who I am, and Luis was always very encouraging and one of the only people I truly felt accepted me for who I was.
Some of you may not know him, but if you have been to past furcons and saw a white RC tank with a Pinkie Pie plushie riding on top of it roaming around and interacting with fursuiters, that was Luis' doing. It was one of his favorite things to do at every con we went to. It's also the last memory I have of him as I saw him last when I sat and talked with him at FC 2014 last year as he drove the cart about.
The news of Luis' death I remember struck me, but for whatever reason I never fully grieved about it. I think for months I was still in some sort of shock. Maybe thinking to myself it was all a dream, and come FC, I would see him there, and that white Pinkie tank would be driving around just as before. But of course, I found myself at FC, and the tank was absent.
After Luis' death, I knew that I wanted to do a tribute to him somehow, and I felt that expressing what I felt through dance, at his favorite event would be something that would be a good tribute to him. It was a weird feeling planning the dance through the months though as despite doing the motions, I felt that the real pain I was feeling wasn't there somehow, because I didn't fully grasp that he was gone.
Friday afternoon, the realization that Luis was truly gone was hitting me hard all day, and Chatah was noticing I was not myself. I went back to the hotel room as I got ready for the dance comp preliminaries and laid down. I felt totally broken, and for the first time since Luis' death, I finally grieved harder than I ever have before. I laid there with Chatah holding me as I cried for far too long constantly asking "Why? Why did he have to go? I dont understand!" It was like everything came crashing down on me and I was literally broken hearted and deeply pained. As the minutes went by and I opened up to Chatah about why this was so hard for me and why I was not myself, Chatah asked me something very profound.
"Do you think he would have wanted you to be sad this whole con? Or would he have wanted you to have fun?"
I took a while to think about it, and remembering Luis and what he was and how he was, I realized that Chatah was right. Luis was always about fun, and always wanted everyone to have a good time. Crying in a dark hotel room and confining myself would be the last thing he would have wanted for me.
With this realization, I realized what I had to do, and with a new mindset, I went about the con.
As it turned out, I ended up making it to finals, which that alone is a huge deal for me. I grew up watching FCDC's over the years, and being part of the finalist was a huge thing to me. I knew my routine was going to be very different than what everyone else was doing, and I knew that many might not understand, or maybe find it ridiculous. But I told myself that I wasn't doing this for recognition as a dancer, or to be seen as "good" by audience and judges. I was going out to pay my tribute to Luis and express what I was feeling inside.
From the start, I heard the audience laugh a bit, I had expected as such honestly, I mean, no matter how serious or expressive you try to be, the fact is, you are in a giant cartoon animal. But regardless, I set out to do what I wanted to do. I ended up fully losing myself in the routine and midway started flowing tears. But I finished my routine and very awkwardly tried to wipe away the tears, only realizing there was a giant foam head in the way of my eyes haha.
I didn't know what to expect following that routine, but I ended up having many people compliment me about it later. I was very grateful.
It's been half a year since Luis left our world, and I hope I can see him again some day in the afterlife. I hope wherever he is that he can know just how much his friendship and acceptance meant to me through the years. And I can only hope my dance tribute could express how much he meant to me.
Thank you for all you did for me Frost. PonyKart will live on forever. Much love.
-Jei
Category Photography / All
Species Cheetah
Size 1024 x 682px
File Size 165 kB
I was there in person. You did a great job with your performance at FC. I'm just reading this for the first time. I don't know you really at all Jei, but from the little I do, you seem to be a real stand up fur. My heart goes out to you for the loss of someone so dear. Sounds like Luis was a true friend. One that we all could only be so blessed to know. That is really neat how you did this in his memory.
Best wishes.
Wolfstang
Best wishes.
Wolfstang
You made me cry with this routine man. It was beautiful.
When you do contemporary, especially to an Evanescence song, its important to have a story, or better yet, relate it to personal experience, like you did at FC, and its also important to convey the emotion you were feeling when that even occurred. You did this so effortlessly. i was blown away. The song choice was perfect for the event that you experience, and I FELT your pain. That's something that has seemed to go missing from many dancers nowadays. They forget to show emotion, and, in turn, the dance comes across as... well, staged. Fake, if you will.
You are an AMAZING dancer, and I don't want anything to ever discourage you from stopping.
Much loves xoxo
~Toxxik
When you do contemporary, especially to an Evanescence song, its important to have a story, or better yet, relate it to personal experience, like you did at FC, and its also important to convey the emotion you were feeling when that even occurred. You did this so effortlessly. i was blown away. The song choice was perfect for the event that you experience, and I FELT your pain. That's something that has seemed to go missing from many dancers nowadays. They forget to show emotion, and, in turn, the dance comes across as... well, staged. Fake, if you will.
You are an AMAZING dancer, and I don't want anything to ever discourage you from stopping.
Much loves xoxo
~Toxxik
I told you this after the competition, but I'm going to say it again. Your performance was beautiful, and I nearly cried. If I had known the story behind your dance, I probably wouldn't have been able to hold back any tears. Seriously, I've seen a lot of contemporary routines, and yours definitely moved me. Although I didn't know why you were dancing, I could feel the emotions behind it. I'll have to admit, though, that I was one of many who laughed at the beginning. I honestly thought you were starting off with that song as a joke (as did many others I can imagine). However, once I realized what you were doing, it totally clicked.
Ahem, anyway, I am sorry for your loss. This was my first FC, so I never did get to see that Pinkie Pie or meet Frost. I'm sure that he was an amazing person.
Ahem, anyway, I am sorry for your loss. This was my first FC, so I never did get to see that Pinkie Pie or meet Frost. I'm sure that he was an amazing person.
I was very sad also to find out last year that Luis past away so suddenly. He was also a friend of mine. I met him at the Berkeley meet back in 2008. We talked a lot about art and such. He even made me a lion pin. I also purchased an air hockey table from him about five years ago that I still play with to this day. He was one of the nicest, genuine fur's/person's that I have ever met. He will always be in my heart. BTW, I very much enjoyed your dance routine. Excellent dancing! I love that song by Evanescence. Take care! *hugs*
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