That was a really well written story! It was obviously thought out, and i didn't notice any spelling errors great job!

thanks

very nice story ^_^

Not bad. Some of the dialogue sounds a bit stiff and unnatural; I recommend saying the lines aloud if you're alone when writing to make sure they make sense. Also, I'm a little bit bothered by the fact that none of the rest of the story, except for the pain in his arm, seems to have anything to do with the transformation. I mean, you could write the story like this, but then you'd need this to just be like an introduction. You certainly couldn't consider this the end of the story, because there's no closure.

its not over yet. It's pretty much like chapter one. I don't like open endings all that much so don't worry.

Good. One other thing that I forgot to mention earlier: if his whole body is going to transform, why does only his arm hurt?

It will explain itself later and it will be significant that it was his right arm.

Its good. Oh and I read Brasingr...

late reply but I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT BOOK. I thought this would be the last book but then they said that he was going to make it into two book. He better get done soon because brisingr was not enough. Like putting your toe into a pool, you only get a small taste of what you are there for, swimming.

Nice man! i like it. the begining details were really something and the sudden realization at the end... just really outstanding job. now to read the other chapters. you, my friend, are offically watched!

Officially? what? there's an unofficial way? well i guess if you keep checking in then it is unofficial but i kinda wanted a black market kind of watching where there could be spies at every turn and they give you daily updates or something. Not that i actually wanted that to happen to me but it would be cool if it existed or something which i probably does if you know where to look. and Thanks by the way. sorry if this is random and i now that this is months late to a reply that was made in September but i am feeling random tonight because i just finished writing a soul oppressing paper that i think i am going to fail even though it is about me. :P
Thanks again.

no problems man, i think like that a lot as well. ^^

Very nice story, I only have one little moan to make about it, so here goes:

If you're gonna pull a book from REAL LIFE make sure you got the NAME right.

It's Brisingr, not Brasingr.

There isn't an 'a' in the name.

That's my 5 cents.

Other than that. its awesome. Well thought out, very nice flow.

lol. i didn't even realize. I am officially shamed. thanks for letting me know.