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This is a commissioned story.
A story of a family's road trip that goes horribly wrong when a mysterious app turns them all into Pokemon from the Pikachu evolutionary chain.
The commissioner wanted me to write about a family of five. The biggest challenge was giving all of the characters enough screen time. Within the small confines of the story, I had to explore their personalities a bit.
I feel like the story may have worked better as part of a larger piece about a family. Like, this is a chapter where they just happen to be turned into Pokémon. In that case, I could have drastically expanded on their personalities. However, being what it is, the story had to focus on their survival tale, and their time as Pokémon. My biggest concern is that adding in the necessary detail would have drastically expanded the story beyond a conscionable length.
Still, that does give me an idea for writing about a family in a broader context.
A story of a family's road trip that goes horribly wrong when a mysterious app turns them all into Pokemon from the Pikachu evolutionary chain.
The commissioner wanted me to write about a family of five. The biggest challenge was giving all of the characters enough screen time. Within the small confines of the story, I had to explore their personalities a bit.
I feel like the story may have worked better as part of a larger piece about a family. Like, this is a chapter where they just happen to be turned into Pokémon. In that case, I could have drastically expanded on their personalities. However, being what it is, the story had to focus on their survival tale, and their time as Pokémon. My biggest concern is that adding in the necessary detail would have drastically expanded the story beyond a conscionable length.
Still, that does give me an idea for writing about a family in a broader context.
Category Story / All
Species Pokemon
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 292.7 kB
Well that was certainly an interesting tale. I didn't noticed that there were Raichus in it until I remember the orange coloring you mentioned. Anyway, it was almost like reading a fairy tale book or something like that and I guess it was a good thing that they weren't able to communicate at all when they transformed or David would've been in serious trouble. I think that was the first story I've read that almost seem like a normal Pokémon episode where the Pokémon gets separated from the trainers, but this time the humans are the Pokémon. You also did good job on telling the story through the characters' actions and thoughts and I'm surprised you made it flow well despite a few mistakes like this:
Thankfully, the bolt went wild, instead of striking the tree and
setting the forest on fire.
I'm pretty sure in this line you meant that "instead of setting the forest on fire, it struck the tree." Otherwise they wouldn't be able to get the nuts if the forest was caught on fire.
Thankfully, the bolt went wild, instead of striking the tree and
setting the forest on fire.
I'm pretty sure in this line you meant that "instead of setting the forest on fire, it struck the tree." Otherwise they wouldn't be able to get the nuts if the forest was caught on fire.
Thank you for your kind words. My apologies for the late response. I hadn't seen the comment!
The intention of that particular passage was to suggest that the bolt struck something non-flammable. I could have explained that better. Thanks for the catch. :D
Telling the story through character actions was challenging, especially because the commissioner requested I have a cast of five characters. However, it was essential for the kind of tale that I wanted to tell. I felt like using dialogue would have taken the reader out of the experience.
The intention of that particular passage was to suggest that the bolt struck something non-flammable. I could have explained that better. Thanks for the catch. :D
Telling the story through character actions was challenging, especially because the commissioner requested I have a cast of five characters. However, it was essential for the kind of tale that I wanted to tell. I felt like using dialogue would have taken the reader out of the experience.
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