Cool, is that out of Eurekka Kats?

It's from a novel called 'Razor's Fire' that was only available in print. It will likely be posted to my site eventually.

Cool, can you tell me some of what the story is about?

Blurb: After seven years as partners and best friends, Jake Clawson and Chance Furlong finally embark down the path of being LifeMates, and all the delving into the histories wished forgotten it goes with it. But are they ready for the price of their deeper relationship?

It was written solo, and in 2001. Here's the preview I posted back then.

Razor's Fire
Chapter 1: Desires and Fire

"Chance?" Jake asked uncertainly as he approached his partner in their sprawling underground base. "You got a minute?"

"Sure, buddy." The big chocolate on tan tabby turned from loading an Octopus Missile into their jet's bay and froze at the shrouded fear he saw. "Jake?"

He shivered and dug his claws into the back of his arm for a distraction. "I'm okay, I ... I just need to ... well, ask you for something." He refused to meet the golden eyes assessing him critically.

"Ah Kats, Jake." He managed not to react badly when Jake retreated as he took a step forward and tried to break the tension. "If you can't approach me what chance do I have with the girls?"

Jake looked away and dug his claws in harder, drawing enough blood to stain his overalls. "They're ... what this is about." He couldn't stop his voice or body from shaking. "Sort of."

Chance shifted and crossed his arms uncertainly, biting his upper lip to stop himself from demanding that he just get to the point.

"I'm ... I would ..." He shook his head in frustration and finally growled painfully. "Please don't bring them here anymore."

"Hu? Why?" He jerked back, his arms opening and lax in surprise.

"Does it really matter why?" Jake barely whispered. "I'm asking, as a favor. As a friend. Don't bring them here. Don't involve me."

"But why?" He stammered. "What'd I do?"

"Nothing, Chance." Jake shook his head and finally looked up to meet his partner's wide eyes. "As my friend, I'm asking you not to involve me in your dating."

"Only if you tell me why." The big tabby growled. "This is my home too."

"Fine." Jake dropped his eyes and shuddered. "It hurts too much to see you with them. If they keep coming here, I'll find another place to stay."

"Hurts?" He stared at his partner in confusion. "I thought you were pretty lucky ...."

Jake shrugged and straightened. "Irrelevant. You have my reason. Do I need to find another place to live?"

"No." Chance reached out to grip his partner's shoulder, disturbed by the level of tension under his fingers and the request itself, as well as the smell of blood seeping into the air around them. "I'll keep them away."

"Thank you." Jake dropped his shoulder and turned to make his way up to the Garage without another word.

Chance stood immobile, watching the lean form retreat and then disappear up the ladder before he sank down against their lockers, gaze still locked on the last place he'd seen his partner. "What the hell happened to you, buddy?"

---

In the unlit warmth of an ornate bedroom a large Kat, darker than the shadows he strained in, stroked himself with fierce abandon. His body focused on a single goal, his mind focused on the mate lost to him nearly twenty years before.

He made no attempt to hold the orgasm back as his body tensed with the pleasure cracking through it from his core, spraying creamy fluid over his chest and hand as a low roar rumbled from his throat.

As the tremors subsided his let his head roll to one side, whispering the words he'd repeated in some form for over two and a half decades.

"You will be mine again, my love, my Jake. Someday, we'll be together again."

---

"Jake, what is going on with you?" Chance demanded as they stripped their blue and red flight suits off after a rough patrol.

"Nothing." He growled and looked away as he pulled a dirty blue coverall on.

"Bullshit Kat." He pulled the smaller tom around to face him. "I have never seen you that distracted. It's bad enough you let Chop Shop get away, but damnit, do you have any idea how close you came to getting us both killed taking off after him like that on the Cyclotron? And what in the world made you actually shoot at Feral?"

"It's none of your business." Jake snapped definitely, his ears flat.

"It's my business as your pilot." Chance pulled himself up a little more, trying to take command of the situation against all his instincts, grateful that Jake was out of uniform already. "You aren't making reliable choices. You can't concentrate on your job long enough to fire true. You're a hazard to me and the city like this." He hesitated at the agony that flashed across his partner's face and softened. "Jake, please, let me help. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can get through it. Don't pull the same stunt you did last time."

"Chance ...."

"Promise me you won't run away this time." He tried to keep the desperation from his voice. "I'm your partner, let me help."

"Nothing for you to help with." Jake shrugged hopelessly. "I just have to learn to live with it."

"Jake ...."

"Chance, you say you're my friend." He paused until the tabby nodded. "Then leave this be. It's hard enough as it is, I don't need to be grilled about it."

He sighed and shook his head. "All right buddy. But you have to deal with it better, and remember I'm here for you."

---

Chance looked at the piece of paper in his hand and compared its scribbled contents with the apartment he was now facing. With a bracing breath he knocked firmly on the battered metal door, fighting the urge to drop into a defensive stance as it opened.

"Hello?" A tall, well-built chocolate on mustard tabby tomkat poked his head out.

"Greg Alon?" Chance felt himself falling back on his Enforcer interview training in the face of a Kat that looked remarkably like himself.

"Yes."

"I'm Chance Furlong ...."

"Jake's partner?" Greg's ears drooped. "What do you want?"

"I ..." He straightened. "I want to know what happened to him."

He hesitated before letting a dejected breath out and opened the door the rest of the way. "Come in. I'll give you what I know."

"Thank you." Chance nodded and took in the clean, one bedroom apartment's simple, working class interior as Greg went to the compact kitchen.

"Milk, coffee, juice?" He offered as he surveyed the refrigerator.

"Umm, milk." Chance watched as Greg pulled out two cans and motioned him to sit on the worn leather couch.

"First I want to know how much you know about me and Jake." Greg dropped into an equally worn leather recliner and opened the cans with his thumbclaw before handing one over.

"Thanks. Ummm, I know you're lovers." He started, uncertain what else to add.

"Were, past tense." Greg took a long swig and focused on the wall. "I wanted too much, chased him off three weeks ago." He shifted his gaze to Chance. "Why'd you wait this long to talk to me?"

"It took me this long to find you." He grumbled. "I had to call in a few favors to get enough of the basics to know who to ask. Jake's not much on talking these days."

"He never was." Greg smiled sadly. "Cost me the best relationship I've had." He shook his head. "But to what you might find useful ... just understand one thing." He held up his free hand. "I'm doing this for Jake. He's a good Kat. He deserves better than he's given himself."

"Wait, he left you and you want to help him?" Chance flicked his ears back in suspicion.

"I did something stupid Chance." He shook his head. "I knew from the start he didn't want a LifeMate. He told me that much." Greg looked down at his milk can. "But after three years I wanted more than what he gave me, more of a commitment, and I thought he'd relaxed about it. He'd made no indication he wanted to move on. So I proposed to him."

Greg looked up at Chance's gasp. "Yeah, bad idea. I offered him my life. He gave me about thirty seconds of pure honesty and ran out the door in exchange." He focused on the wall again. "You see, he never loved me. He'd given his heart to someone almost seven years ago. He liked me and I was close enough to the one he loved for him to pretend, to have something that was enough to make it though the rough times. He's making the best of a bad situation."

"You're handling it better than I would." Chance snorted.

"Then you've never been in love." He offered with a sigh and closed his eyes. "It makes you want someone else to be happy more than yourself. Remarkably dangerous emotion it is. Destroys all common sense."

"So who's Jake in love with?" Chance finally prompted.

"I don't know his name." Greg shrugged, meeting Chance's gaze with a piercing one of his own. "He looks a lot like me, met Jake about seven years ago and is straight. You'd know better than I would who he'd met about then."

"Oh." Chance finally took a long drink from his can before he stood. "Thanks for talking to me." He inclined his head and moved for the door.

"Chance." Greg caught his shoulder before he opened the door. "Take care of your partner. You're the only family he has."

He managed to nod before he escaped to the warm evening breezes and open road to TailChaser Airport for some time in his stunt-jet.

---

Chance felt his body relax into the comforting familiarity of his stunt-jet airborne over calm water and set the controls for cruising to let his mind wonder free over the chaos of the past few weeks, seeking some solution, or at least a path to follow.

My partner, my gunner, is in love with me. The lustful, I want to fuck him kind of love. And it's destroying him.

How many Kats has he been with, left and hurt trying to have me? Why would he want me that badly?

... why wouldn't I want him? We live together, fight together, play together ... we spend more time together than any pair I know. It feels so natural to be around him, to touch like we do in passing and comfort. I do ... love him, just not like he loves me.

But sex?

I've seen him with toms enough ... he knows what he's doing. He's my gunner, I trust him with my life ... but is even that enough? Could I let him fuck me? Could I do it to him? Give up females forever?

And does he really trust me enough to let me know him, his past? He's as bad about accepting my help as I was about learning to swim from him. Could I commit to someone who won't let me help? Won't confide in me?

Do I even have a right to expect those things from my gunner, even as a mate?

Gods, I'm actually considering that seriously ....

... Yes. I am. He's worth that much, at least. To consider it.

So what do I really know about him?

He's an excellent gunner, thirty-two, very fit, brilliant. He has degrees in Aeronautics, Electronics and Computer Science -- whatever the hell that actually is. Still takes classes, can't remember on what though. Goes to some service way early in the morning at least twice a week, usually more. At least I think he goes to a church ... I never actually asked, but he's almost always in a better mood afterward.

Okay, back to what I actually know.

He dates males and females, and not exclusively Kats. Given he's been with Greg for the last three years he's not monogamous to put it mildly.

That's going to have to change.

But ... mmmm ... if he's not monogamous, then I won't have to be either. I could still see fems.

But could I actually do that? Even thinking it seems ... unfaithful. Just for sex, I don't want that.

Damn, Chance, sis was right. Twenty-nine and I am looking for a mate, a family of my own, not just a good lay. Well, not all the time at least.

But how could I divide my loyalties like that? Between Jake and a wife. Who would come first?

... I think Jake would.

That's just not right, not fair to her. Or to the kits.

I wonder if he wants kittens? He's older than I am, he must have at least thought about it. Though if he's fixated on me this long, probably not.

Okay, if we do actually become mates, what would change?

Ummmm ... well, there's the sex, and sleeping in the same bed. We already live together, spend most of our time together. Probably half the population already thinks we're a couple.

I'd know him better. I need to. His family too, whoever they are. And he'd have to meet mine, what fun. Mom'll freak at another kit that won't be breeding. Wonder how his'll react?

Or does he even have relatives? I haven't actually heard any reference to them ... or anything about before we met for that matter. Seven years isn't very long. But ... how could I know so little about him?

Not like he knows much about me, I didn't ever bother to tell him I grew up in the East Quarter till he was in the truck when I wanted to get those comics. Whatever possessed me to go back, right then? It'd been years ...

Maybe ... could I have actually been trying to get to know him? Giving him an opening to tell me something about himself?

It would have been nice if he'd told me where he grew up. But then there was that mess with the Metalikats and Pastie and that not so shiny future. I think we both got side tracked.

Okay, back to the real issue ... could I be his pilot and mate and keep what's left of my sanity? I don't want to be that submissive all the time. But ... but can I actually do both? His pilot in the air and his mate, his equal on the ground?

How the hell can that even work?

Jeremy and Fiona do it ... maybe it's time to drop in for a visit to the airshow. Been too long since I've been home. It'd be nice to see sis and all the cousins too. And no mom. Fly without it being a probable combat situation.

Yes, that's a good idea. Introduce Jake to the family, the ones I care about anyway. See where it goes from there. We both need a break from this city.

---

Chance pulled into the Megacat City Salvage Yard very late that night, slightly more settled with a plan of action set. With all the lights off and the gate and doors locked, he did his best to be quiet as he made his way to the bedroom on the second floor and an attempt at much needed sleep.

He hesitated at the door, hand on the knob as he picked up an unfamiliar sound from inside. His breath caught when it registered what the grunting moans must be, and despite everything, he silently opened the door enough to look in.

Jake was kneeling in the middle of his bed against the far wall, the silvery moonlight from the open window glittered on his sweat slicked fur. His knees were spread, tail tucked tightly between them, his head dropped between his shoulders and one arm stretched forward as a brace.

He was breathing hard through an open mouth, oblivious to everything but what his other hand was doing as it stroked and squeezed his cock. The rhythm was well established and clearly nearly complete as Chance watched in disturbed fascination.

A deep groaning grunt gave a moment's warning before the moonlight sparkled along the arch of a milky stream of come as Jake shuddered in surrender to the pleasure he sought.

Neither of them moved as Jake slowly relaxed and gathered his breath. He looked up with bleary eyes to catch the form at the partially open door and growled a wordless question.

"Just me, buddy." Chance managed to stammer quietly as Jake wiped his hand on the towel he'd been kneeling on. "I thought you were asleep ... till ... till ...."

"Till you opened the door?" Jake shuddered as he wiped his softening cock clean before it slid back into its sheath.

"Yeah." He nodded, grateful for the offered explanation.

"I thought you'd be gone for the night." Jake folded the towel into itself and tossed it in the dirty clothes pile before pulling a pair of skivvies and a T-shirt on with shaking hands.

"I had to do some thinking." Chance murmured, uncertainly slipping into the room. He tried not to hesitate much as he stripped down to T-shirt and skivvies for bed; but with the vision burned into his brain, the acidic smell of sex and sweat still in the room, and an extremely uncomfortable hard-on twitching against his abs he barely got under his blankets without panicking.

"Night, Chance." Jake's exhausted voice drifted from the other side of the room.

"Night, Jake." He replied by reflex, his mind already deep in debate with itself again.

---

"Hi, Chance. Come on in." A brown, white and orange splotched calico tom opened the apartment door to the late afternoon light and stepped aside with a smile. "Long time no see. You're looking good."

"Thanks Erik." He nodded uncertainly as the door shut. "Though I'd hardly call three months a long time."

"Maybe not to you, but I also visit my family more than once a decade." The medium-built Kat chuckled at Chance's flicked-back ears. "Com'on, you sounded like it was serious on the phone."

"Yeah, it is. I think."

"Got to do with Jake?"

"Who else?" He flopped down on the dinning room chair and accepted the glass of juice Erik handed him.

"Since this all must have happened within the last three months, start from the beginning." He smiled from behind his glass. "Though I'd like to know what you want from me first."

"Information."

"On Jake?" He flicked his ears up curiously.

"No." Chance shook his head sharply. "On sex, with a tom."

"You're joking." Erik didn't bother to stop his jaw from dropping. He tried to regain his composure at the skittish look he got for it. "No, you're not." He took a deep breath. "Okay, I think you'd better just start this one from the beginning."

Chance nodded and stared into his drink as he talked. "The reliable hearsay. About the time we met, either in Academy or when we got teamed up in the Enforcers, Jake sort of fell for me. Whatever he's done to try to court me in those seven years, if anything, I didn't notice."

"Not surprising."

"Yeah, well, sometime between then and three years ago, he started seeking the company of Kats who at least looked like me. His last one, the one I know about, sounds a good bit like me too."

"Name?"

"Greg Alon."

"Nice tom, and I'll go with you on the resemblance. It's quite striking, though he's a hell of a lot easier to get to talk." Erik nodded with as playful grin. "He's your information source?"

Chance nodded. "You know him?"

"Dated him, still friends. He's trustworthy."

"You knew he was seeing Jake?" Chance blinked as the other tom nodded again. "You know they broke up?"

"And I know why." Erik finished for him. "I got what I think is the whole story, at least Greg's side." He regarded Chance in the silence that followed. "And you're seriously considering accepting Jake's proposal?"

"He hasn't proposed anything." He looked down again. "He's just letting it kill him. I can't ...." Chance shook his head. "I can't let that happen."

"You care about him a lot." Erik murmured, stunned.

He looked up, letting his guard drop. "I love him. I just don't know how to deal with the physical part."

"Whoa." He blinked at the tabby, his voice low. "What do you want from me?"

Chance dropped his head, gathering his courage and shields before speaking. "I ... want you to teach me how ... urr, I need to know if I can actually do this. Before I talk to him. You're the only one ... well, you've seen me do so many stupid things in the last twenty-five years, I guess I don't mind if you see one more." He finally looked up. "I'm trying to say I trust you."

"Okay." Erik took a deep breath. "First things first. I have to talk to Samantha."

"Who ... why?"

"My girlfriend." He rose and walked to the phone. "It's not going to be a problem, but I need to ask her first."

"Oh." He watched as Erik dialed a number by rote.

The conversation was quick, and when the calico turned around he smiled. "Well, permissions are taken care of." He settled in the chair next to Chance.

"I didn't know you were seeing anyone." He started to pull away.

"Shu, relax." He caught Chance's hand and kissed it, urging him to sit again. "You asked for my help, you have it."

"But ... but your girlfriend." He stammered, but settled as asked.

"Chance, I told you, she's okay with this. We aren't a monogamous couple." He smiled and licked one finger experimentally. "Even if we were, I'd make her understand."

He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it and nodded.

"I need you to tell me a few things, and be absolutely honest with me." He waited for the tabby to nod again. "Aside from Jake, have you ever thought of another tom sexually?"

Another shake of the head met the question. "I ... I don't really ... I can't picture even him that way."

"But you're intent on trying." Erik whispered.

"I have to." He faced the calico with stubborn determination. "If this is what it takes to save my gunners life, I have to try. He needs me."

Erik closed his eyes for a moment. "I always knew you were loyal." He shook his head. "But I never thought anyone could be that loyal."

"Can we get on with this?"

"Umm, yes, of course." He ruffled his fur. "Do you have any response to him at all? Any way you could get hard for him?"

"The other night I came in when he was jerking off." He dropped his eyes. "It wasn't exactly arousing, nothing like watching a fem, but I got hard. I never have before."

"Well that's a start." Erik stood, encouraging the tabby to follow him into the small bedroom. "Shut the door."

"Hu?" Chance queried as the lights were flicked off, leaving even his good night vision nearly blind.

"It's usually easier to not see the first time." Erik's voice dropped to a sultry croon. "Do you want to undress yourself, or shall I do it?"

"I ... I'll do it." He took an unconscious step back before unbuttoning his shirt with the rustle of the other Kat's clothes coming off far too loud in his ears.

"Follow my voice, handsome."

Erik's words were still low, a tone that from a female would have him ready in an instant. As it stood, he swallowed nervously and obeyed, sitting on the edge of the bed when he felt soft cotton sheets under his searching hand. He cringed when a strong hand touched his shoulder.

"Chance." Erik's voice was strong in his ear. "Tell me to stop, any time, for any reason, and I will. Understand?"

He nodded, not trusting his voice as that hand caressed his arm and a curious tongue flicked along his jawbone. He tried not to think too much about the build of the head pressed against his cheek as too-broad fingers ran across his chest, or the claw that circled one nipple.

"Erik ..." He tried hard to form the words he needed. "Just ... need to know ... if I can let myself be fucked. Not this."

"We both know Jake won't just fuck you." He purred, pulling Chance back to lie on the bed. "Relax, I'll make you feel very good. Sex can be as much physics as anything."

Chance closed his eyes and fought down the panic as Erik's arousal swirled around him and hands caressed him, thoroughly exploring his heavily muscled chest.

"Please relax." He crooned, working lower. "I ...."

"Erik, shut up and do this." He shuddered as a warm breath ghosted over his empty sheath and spread his legs, inviting. "Do it."

"Oh, Chance. This isn't the way ...."

He gabbed blindly, hauling the ruff he caught near his face. "It's how it has to be." The silence above him lasted a long time before he felt the other tom nod and let go.

"Roll over, on your knees. And relax, damnit."

Firm hands guided him into position, then left as the calico moved away and returned. He gasped as a feather-light touch moved his tail to one side and caressed his balls, moving slowly up his sheath. He shuddered as a puff of air brushed his ass and closed his eyes against the roil in his stomach.

"Chance?"

"Do it!" He dug claws in the pillow against his chest, trembling as a cool object pressed against his opening, and tried to suppress the whimpers gathering in his throat as it passed painlessly though the first ring of muscle. "Uuuh, stop." His voice sounded sick even to his own ears.

The object disappeared almost instantly, replaced by the calico's concerned voice as Chance curled on his side, tail tucked tightly between his legs. "Chance?"

"I can't ... ohhh, I'm gonna be sick." He shuddered, but kept the bile down as worried hands gripped his shoulders.

"Breath, I'm sorry. Just breath, Chance. It'll be okay."

"Won't ... Jake needs me." The darkness spiraled into a multitude of colors without shape. "I can't do it."

"If he loves you, he'll understand." Erik's voice was gentle in his ear. "There's more to a loving couple than anal sex."

"What?" Chance rolled over to face his friend, just barely making out his features. "What else that I'm not already to him?"

He hesitated, confusion clear even in the darkness. "It's worth a lot sometimes to have someone important to you in the bed when you wake up, to fall asleep in their arms. And there are other kinds of sex; hands, mouth, even just rubbing. And toys."

"I ...."

"Chance." An easy hand touched his face. "You love him, you want this to work?" Erik waited for him to nod. "Then offer him what you can, you'll find it's easier to deal with all of it after a while."

"Really?"

"Chance, it was months before I was willing to let Terry mount me that first time." He shook his head. "It's not something many can do right off, especially when they're not sure if they really want to be with a tom."

"So what did you do?"

"Mostly we slept together, spent a lot of time touching, kissing. Getting me used to the feel, smell, the different touch a tom gives. Don't expect too much of yourself this fast." He caressed the tabby's face. "Try to remember the last virgin you were with, how nervous she was."

"Too scared to go through with it." His voice was soft at the memory of frustration and uncertainty. "Erik ... how long have you been ... interested in me?"

The calico sighed. "A good deal longer than Jake. You're a handsome Kat. But I can do without."

"Would ... would you like to just lay here with me for a while?"

"I'd like that a great deal." He shifted, waiting for the other tom to settle and spooned again Chance's back, one arm draped over his chest. "You'll do fine."

---
For the rest, you'll need to buy the zine.

Wow thanks, that's even more than what I thought you'd give me, if anything.

It's been posted publicly,and will be posted to FaF's site eventually, so not reason not to

Ah I see, I look forward to reading the rest of it, and to see how Jake reacts when he and Chace first get together.