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![Alone [In My Place] - (Poetry)](http://d.furaffinity.net/art/yosh-e-o/1425395244/1425395244.yosh-e-o_yoshicon_35.png "Click to change the View")
ART BY:
nishi
You say I can't do
so I don't
I go it alone
and find my own place
You set up rules
in which I cannot follow
I go it alone
and find my own place
You opt for ignorance
over inclusion and understanding
I go it alone
and find my own place
The doors of opportunity
you lock me out of
I go it alone
and find my own place
You align my diversity
with a lacking of ability
I go it alone
and find my own place
You use words as weapons
to rid yourself of me
I go it alone
and find my own place
I seek help
but instead find punishment
I go it alone
and find my own place
I succeed in solitude
and fail in society
It's depressing to be alone
secure in only your place
nishiYou say I can't do
so I don't
I go it alone
and find my own place
You set up rules
in which I cannot follow
I go it alone
and find my own place
You opt for ignorance
over inclusion and understanding
I go it alone
and find my own place
The doors of opportunity
you lock me out of
I go it alone
and find my own place
You align my diversity
with a lacking of ability
I go it alone
and find my own place
You use words as weapons
to rid yourself of me
I go it alone
and find my own place
I seek help
but instead find punishment
I go it alone
and find my own place
I succeed in solitude
and fail in society
It's depressing to be alone
secure in only your place
Category Poetry / Miscellaneous
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 139 x 139px
File Size 2.8 kB
The other comments I made on "Approval" apply here too, I believe.
Beyond that, I think the repetition works really well with the message. As a piece of English text, reading the repeated lines after the second or third iteration causes one to feel the work to be off, difficult, not elegant. But despite this being a negative thing, I think it works to exemplify the futility and very real, dirty, negative elements surrounding the words themselves. No matter what, You go it alone, and find your own place; it doesn't change we discuss other elements. I find it powerful.
Beyond that, I think the repetition works really well with the message. As a piece of English text, reading the repeated lines after the second or third iteration causes one to feel the work to be off, difficult, not elegant. But despite this being a negative thing, I think it works to exemplify the futility and very real, dirty, negative elements surrounding the words themselves. No matter what, You go it alone, and find your own place; it doesn't change we discuss other elements. I find it powerful.
Repetition does tend to cause people to lose attention or focus. However this piece was designed more as a progressive timeline. Verse A eventually leads to Verse B, etc. The key point being that over a lifetime the same end result happens in order to progress. Without willpower and support one of these sections would've read...
...
I feel the knife against my neck
and succumb to my sorrow
There are too many times I can note where I've had a desire to end my existence. Though I think of how my life does not belong to me. It belongs to my family, my friends, and those strangers who may be able to benefit from learning from me the dangers that exist rather than experiencing them as I have. So I carry on knowing that, in the least, I am making some sort of difference. Acknowledged, or not, I have to try for not trying would set the worst example for my son and anyone who may not be as fortunate as I to have a strong support system coupled with therapy and medication.
...
I feel the knife against my neck
and succumb to my sorrow
There are too many times I can note where I've had a desire to end my existence. Though I think of how my life does not belong to me. It belongs to my family, my friends, and those strangers who may be able to benefit from learning from me the dangers that exist rather than experiencing them as I have. So I carry on knowing that, in the least, I am making some sort of difference. Acknowledged, or not, I have to try for not trying would set the worst example for my son and anyone who may not be as fortunate as I to have a strong support system coupled with therapy and medication.
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