Unexpected visits abroad, the ranks of importance just keep rising. Make or Break.

Co.written with  paulshep, who owns the Toivonen family

Characters and FBA belong to their respective owners.
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The weather of the 23rd was very nice, barely clouds in the sky, the fresh breeze blowing over. Even like that, Julian was still on his medical confinement, not much to be done yet. Scoonie was out for the time being, trusting the saluki on not going overboard with anything. Several players have expressed support and well wishes, but he had that stinging feeling with the higher powers. They had control and the final say over what could happen, and they barely said a nick, making him really nervous.

The canine kept himself busy with sketches and art; it was a nice escape that reminded him of calmer times at the parlor. He was donning only a pair of sweatpants for the time being, for the bandage change was still fresh. The doorbell rang, breaking the concentration, and he slowly made his way to the door, thinking the otter forgot keys or something inside.

“Forgot something, Scoonie?” he said as he opened the door.

At the door was not an otter, but a reindeer. In a polo shirt with the London Jets logo on and a pair of casual dress pants. He looks to the tattooed saluki answering the door. "Hello Julian." said his agent, Blake Toivonen.

He jolted for a second. Wasn't he supposed to be in...? When did he...? Well, speak of the devil and he'll appear, for here was one of those higher powers. "Whoa, um... bonjour sir..." he stuttered awkwardly. "When... How..."

"I came in yesterday afternoon. I asked your roommate if I could visit you. Oh, by the way, there's someone else here." Blake stepped aside and with a bit of a smile, Erik waved back at him.

He waved in response, bit hard to shake off the feeling of being half-dressed and bandaged with one of the associates he always tried to be on point. "Guess you...may come in!" he tried to say convincingly through his still tired features and surprise. The house wasn't enormous, but it was fairly modern, a small living room with a leather sofa, a fairly complete kitchen to a corner and the dining table to another, the rooms on the back. Various pieces of art adorning the different rooms. The piece wasn't overly messy, but not as organized as it could've been. He sat back on the main couch, some papers and pencils scattered. "Scoonie's crashing here for the time being, helping me with stuff, normally live by myself..."

"Ah, I see." Blake nodded and took a seat on one of the love chairs. Erik did the same. Blake cleared his throat as he looked around, noting its modern design. "Now, you may wonder why I decided to suddenly show up. Well, it's simple, really. I want to treat everyone equally. I know what had happened last month, and it was awful, I know. And since your injury happened, I had the time to come here and check up on you. I was really concerned when it happened, and I bet everyone else around too"

Julian sighed, looking down. Better go straight to the point. "Guess I'm as good as done with you, non? I.. I just..." he struggled to find words. (("I'm a fuckup...")) he continued in his language, saddened, but trying to keep a solemn expression and look at the ungulate’s eyes, his hands clasped together, accepting his fate. Blake's an honorable reindeer. He surely liked to terminate clients face-to-face.

Blake chuckled from what Julian tells him, and shook his head. "Why would I end our business relationship? Just because you fainted on the court? That would make me a terrible agent, now wouldn't it, my dear Julian?" the reindeer grinned. Erik just made himself comfortable, staying out of his father's business as much as he can. Blake adjusted the collar on his shirt. "Though I would like to know what might have led to that."

The saluki dodged the small bits of praise. "Please sir... I know I've been a pain to the team and to you. I know associates have been tolerant of me because I got one of the bigger contracts..." he shrank away a bit after that not-so-discreet thought. "I've been a pain regardless of what I do. Toujours. So, if I don't put points up, there's nothing to protect me from getting sacked. I need to be committed, no one thought as such, and that bothers me"

"If there is one thing I do appreciate from you, that's honesty." Blake nodded in his chair. "You have your habits and interests, but I can't change that about you, I won’t. What I can though is advice on how you act as a professional. So I will tell you this right now: I'm not giving up on you. You have done nothing to deserve that."

"My contract salary to you is just that good, no sir?" Julian said for himself, veering away... except it was actually out loud.

Blake furrowed his eyebrows. "This was never about money, Julian. And you can be glad that you were picked so high in the draft. To be honest, I did not expect you to go that high. But the Kahunas were very convinced about your performance at the Canadian college tournament AND their camp." Blake nodded, looking on.

He looked back at Blake. "And it all falls on that. On court. My honesty, interests, a part of me doesn't 'gel' with anyone. I'm just being... moi... and everyone hates it. So I had to work work work my way up with the numbers at any cost..." He took a deep breath. "...I just have to face that fact: I'm not 'marketable', I'm not 'the norm', so I need to be the best pointmaker to stay afloat, others can just have their slack cut and life handed on a damn silver platter. That's why I need to work out and stay on court and be the best."

"Whoa, Julian, slow down." Blake commanded. "Why are you putting that kind of pressure on yourself? You are a rookie! It's your first year! Nobody expects you to be the best right away, that’s ridiculous of anyone to think about anybody" the reindeer leaned over and made gestures towards the saluki. "Can I tell you about my rookie season?"

"I fucked up in more ways than one, and I'm sure as done. Hard to surprise me..." Sarcasm a good guard.

"I didn't put up more than 10 points on my first games. I felt bad about it too, but the coach reminded me that I was still learning and growing as a player. Julian, you're still growing, in your first year. What you are trying to do is going to burn you out sooner rather than later. You don't have the capacity to make that kind of promise to yourself yet. You are pushing yourself too hard." Blake said firmly.

"While some other colleagues are showered in praise just for being them..." he sighed. "Guess it's a skeleton in the closet, family thing... I was always pressured to be a best in a way. Was top or worthless. The perfect standard or exclusion... Always the latter..."

"Look, Julian." Blake adjusted his seating. "I appreciate you for you, and your team does for what you're trying to bring for them. You’re steely, you bring all your love to this sport, don’t forget that. But once in awhile, you have to slow down and look out for yourself, ask ‘Is this the way I should go?’. You fainted on the court, remember? You need to recover from that. I never... and I mean, never expected you to be in a certain level from the start. The FBA is not college level anymore, and it takes time to get used to playing 80 games a season. You do not pressure yourself to become a star player here. That's just not possible." Blake took a deep breath.

"Then what? What I should do?" he asked, head lowered. "I know I'm bound to get swept aside regardless of effort, bound to not be as 'good'... due to off-court crap? I tried to be proud of me not fitting in with any group, not even fellow body modders, you know... But attacking me for being me, using me to discredit me... it sucks. Should I be a fake too?"

"No." Blake said firmly. "You need to just be yourself. Ignore what the others say. It's your life and your interests. I never even thought of judging you because of what you're into. If you want to be the best, be yourself and work hard, but listen to what your body’s saying. In this business, you have to look out for yourself as well. If people don't like what you're doing out of the court with your tattoos... well, fuck them." he grins, not regretting the cursing.

He chuckled, Blake relieved he got some happiness out of him. "Just like what Mr. Lagrave says... For some it's easy... but for me the walls ceded… Using me to attack me was something that broke me" He gestured Erik to get a drink if he'd liked, and if he liked to join the conversation, why not? The reindeer was relieved he thought he got the canine out of his void, even for a while.

Erik nodded and grabbed a glass of water and returned soon after. "Mhm. So just be yourself and relax. You are part of a team, but also an individual. You’re smart, you’re a skilled playmaker. Your opinions matter too."

"Even if I shock one or two… I like that feeling" he chuckled. "Anyway, been too much on myself. How are you both handling yourselves?" he said, reaching an oversized jersey and putting it on, bandages were sure done at the moment.

"Oh we're doing just fine." Blake says, looking over to Erik, who just shrugged. "Yeah. Classes are good. Basketball is good too. Been helping my team win a lot."

"C'est trés bien..." the afternoon was actually flowing nicely for the canine. Maybe what Scoonie said of people esteeming him wasn't made up. "Would we see you in the FBA soon, Erik?" he asked.

Erik just shrugged. The dream was certainly there for him. "Maybe? If I can prove myself then I'm sure I'll be a player." Blake nodded, pride glowing in him. "He has some ways to go, but the way he's been playing here. I can't deny that I think he will have FBA caliber."

"I mean, you got experience, you got the base. You can rock it in the upcoming draft", he smiled. He noticed the young reindeer looking at the art and a couple of glances at his own tattoos. "Yeah, many pieces come from the parlor I worked in. It didn't take me a second of being in the FBA for them to say 'we will help you with the house. You say, we do'" he smiled.

"I'm thinking on that." Erik nodded, looking to his father. Blake simply nodded. "Kehon, valintasi, Erik."

Julian made a face, a bit amused. "Is one of those perpetually 'angry' languages..." he jested. "If that's the case, you know the place where I'll direct you..."

Erik actually managed to smile a little from that. Blake nodded. "I meant that he can do it if he wants to..." Erik interrupts his father. "I'm not getting it right away, papa. I want to think about it."

"Aimer ou Signifier..." he said, prompting the reindeer to ask the meaning. "Love it or mean it. Mantra of my old boss for tattoo… ahem... 'virgins'. Have it have a meaning or just get something that you'll always love to look. No need for the reason of your life if it just pleases you."

“Sisu." Erik said. Blake nodded in agreement.

"Quoi?"

“Sisu is our way of expressing someone's determination and courage." Blake explained to Julian. "It's our word that can't be explained in another language. And we like to think we have the courage to take on whatever life throws at us."

The dog nodded. “That’s pretty honorable. Now it’s a matter of design and imagery...”

Blake chuckled a little. “Well, besides the tattoo, I want to tell you something, Julian.” He made himself more comfortable on his seat then spoke again. “I can tell you have a lot of sisu in you. But another key to success in sports is endurance. Don’t torture yourself this early in your career. You want to last in this league, right?”

“Ouais...this is a dream come true, something people believed I could master, something I worked so hard for...”

“Yes, that it is. But you are not at the same level as the ripe veterans of this league. Not yet. You are still growing. Work hard, but don’t overkill. Even the most trained athletes have a limit, do you understand me?” Blake looked to the saluki, hoping he’s getting his message across.

The saluki veered away for a moment as his agent spoke, digesting the information. After a while, he replied with a nod.

“Good, I’m glad.” the reindeer nodded and snorted in relief.

They spent a fair amount of time just on casual conversation afterwards. Time to part came by, they said their goodbyes and walked to the porch.

"Sir?"

“Hm?”

The canine passed a hand through his hair “If it wasn’t for you…Probably wouldn’t even be here, much less got started into this league as smoothly… Thanks...for not giving up...”

“I’m just doing my job, Julian, but you’re very welcome.” Blake nodded as he looked back, Erik behind him as Julian poked his shoulder.

“As for yourself, as well as you too, sir, you know you already got support north of the border in Montreal, even if it’s just for a chitchat. They’re all a call away”

“Kiitos. I’ll think about it for sure.” Erik says as the two reindeer made their ways out again, to get ready to meet Julian’s boss for dinner later today.

Another worry down, for he was one who could break him, but decided not to...

Only the grand high bastard himself left… And no amount of support mattered, not the players, not Blake’s; it was all up to him to determine what will happen.