That's pretty good, in whole if you hit around 200 pages you should think about getting it published.

wow, thanks. the shock of reading those words practically left me speechless.

The way some of the books out now a days go, this would be a great improvement.

I always take great pride in not blushing but i was this close I-I. i am not used to compliments. i can handle insults.

Well as I always say, tell the truth whenever possible, and don't skimp on criticisms when there are any to be had. Your welcome for the complements, but as a side of criticism to it all after rereading, there are several points for expanding on the story. and a couple points that could be left out. Expand on the intro, tell more about the characters lives, their ideas, and their appearance. The nightmare was a great touch and is a definite keeper. If you do ever attempt to get it published, be careful about use of trademarked and copyrighted materials, and only use information from them with permission. Information on the night the two spent together could be both expanded on or dropped completely, be careful of adding to much detail though as it can led to losing a reader in information boredom.

well thanks again. I was afraid of information boredom. I have experienced that a lot so i will try and change some parts by expanding or getting rid of them but for now this is just for fun.