Help I can't sleep.

I don't know if I'm depressed, manic or both right now. Self-destructive, but productive! Hynagogic hallucinations and emotionally intense nightmares have been a regular thing now. So have chain-smoking and drinking straight whiskey. It's like depression with energy. What the fuck is this shit? I'm getting so much shit done though in a fiery clusterfuck of frustration. At least I'm making it work for me.

Everything is fine.