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Boots on the Court - Hawaii's Bad Boy makes his Comeback
- by R. Rozich
They said it would never happen.
Actually, that’s a phrase one could use to follow the career of Alphonse Norwich IV from its beginning. He would never get drafted. He’d never make it as a professional athlete. The team would buy him out before the end of his first season. When tabloids dug up photographs of the rat amidst civil unrest in his hometown, it was that he’d simply stay there. That Alphonse was not able to survive outside his little hole in England. Most recently, in the aftermath of a headbutt against a referee, the line was that the rat with the colorful mohawk would never set foot on an FBA court again.
For a while, it seemed as if they were right. A fifteen day suspension suddenly had that apocalyptic term “indefinite” attached to it, contingent upon his anger management counselor giving him the green-light to play again. What happened to change the suspension? No one would say, but the idea of the big rat ever getting the go ahead from a therapist struck most in the twitterverse and blogosphere as about as likely as the Brit suddenly sprouting feathers. Love him or hate him, most would agree that anger was as much an intrinsic quality of Alphonse as his tail and teeth.
For a moment, it seemed like the tumultuous career of Alphonse Norwich IV had come to an end. What you may think of that is your own opinion. Then, a surprise tweet from Baltasár Torrealba on Wednesday told the world that, against all odds, Alfie was coming back. T-Balt might not be Alfie’s teammate, and almost certainly isn’t his friend, but they do share an agent, so it made sense that the giant tortoise would be speaking from a position of knowledge.
On April ninth, Alphonse jogged out onto the court in Santa Ana’s Prism Palace, not to sit on the sidelines and watch, but to play.
Alfie has been famously described as a player you love to play with, but hate to play against. The Hawaii home crowd loves the rat’s physical, borderline brutish style, one that recalls Julio Onca in his earlier days (an accurate parallel in more ways than one). Opponents and detractors call him a bully, they say that he plays dirty, he has no business on the court. Whether Alphonse is an enforcer bringing a unique physicality to the game or a thug sullying the league’s name largely depends upon which side of the ball you happen to be on.
The Santa Ana crowd certainly made vocal what they thought of him. A year ago, Alfie might have let them know what he thought of them right back, but on this night, he kept quiet. Was it possible that the suspension had, somehow, done some good?
As the tip-off set the game in motion, Alphonse sat on the bench, awaiting his chance to answer that question. “Sat” might not even be the right word, “perched” is more like it. Every muscle in the rat’s body seemed flexed, like a coiled spring. His legs bounced as if unable to hold still. This would normally have been his time to joke with teammates, trash talk either the other team or the crowd (depending), and take a sip of something that may or may not be a sports drink. Tonight, Alfie’s muzzle stayed closed, his eyes unblinking as he watched the game in front of him.
Near the end of the first, Scoonie Barrett jogged off and tagged in Alfie pro wrestler style, complete with a big dramatic high five. The rat’s chance to silence critics, or prove them right, was here.
Even Alphonse’s most unyielding critics would have struggled to find fault with his performance. Gone were the dozens of reckless shots on the net, the bulldozer style footwork, elbows and shoulders thrown like cudgels. To wit, the first thing the rat did as he sprinted out was seamlessly weave into a play that led to his first of four assists for the night. I hesitate to call Alfie “elegant”, no one would ever confuse him for Victor Vos, but watching him feed the ball to Julian Cross-Kiraly (himself coming back from a lengthy absence for wildly different reasons) for a downright gorgeous three left me with that old sitcom cliche in mind: who was this, and what had he done with Alfie?
The first test, if you want to call it that, came midway through the second quarter as an accidental trip sent Alphonse sprawling to the floor. Even the fans in the crowd who had decried his return were suddenly engaged, wondering if they’d be witnessing another show. There was almost disappointment in the air as Alfie bounced back up to his feet and simply shook himself off, then jogged to the free throw line. No barking, no gnashing of teeth, no crackling tension of a possible fight. Even the waved balloons behind the clear board didn’t distract the rat as he sunk both attempts.
Alfie has always been aggressive on the court, but it always seemed like aggression towards his opponents themselves. Combative, if you will. His fouls never quite looked as accidental as he said they were, and critics have always been eager to point out his myriad offenses that the referees didn’t notice. Of course, Alphonse himself has always defended his style, referring to his old days on the Hughes Park court in Toxteth.
“If I ain’t gonna win th’ game, I’m gonna win th’ fight, eh?” he famously laughed during a post-game press conference, prompting plenty of commentators to wonder which half of that he was really more interested in.
At the Prism Palace tonight, there was no question. To wit, the most foul-happy player in the league escaped his seventeen minutes of floor time without a single violation, a feat he’s not accomplished in nearly a year (April fourteenth of last season, to be specific). For Alphonse to be the most well behaved player out of the starters and bench, well, I don’t need to say just what’s so incredible about that. Everything that needed to be said shown on head coach Richard Berk. The honey badger was as tense as anyone when he allowed Alphonse to begin his first game back, but by the end, he was laughing in disbelief that this was, somehow, the same rat who had exited a month and a half ago with a first-half foul-out with a headbutt exclamation point.
By the end of the game, Alphonse Norwich IV had racked up a starter’s numbers with bench play time, only failing to get on the boards in three pointers, turnovers, and fouls. There was no doubt who the Big Kahuna of the night would be, and even if Hawaii hadn’t managed to come away with a victory, the team still walked off court encouraged. Their rat was back, and it looked as if he was better than ever.
I managed to get a quick moment of Alphonse’s time as he exited the Prism Palace. I had questions, dozens of them, all swirling around in my mind, but knew there was only time to ask one. What could I go into? The counseling? His absence on the sidelines during the latter half of his suspension? The rumor mill swirling? In the end, I went for a question that, although cliche as they come, was as direct as any other.
“That was your best game in a long time, Alphonse!” I called out, holding my little recorder at arm’s length. “Even after a long suspension, and with all that’s been going on, it looks like you’re at the peak of your game. What’s got you so focused?”
Since he rarely grants interviews, especially not one on one, many of my colleagues don’t know what it’s like to ask Alphonse Norwich IV questions. For those unaware, there’s always a feeling of walking on eggshells around Alfie, like a poor turn of phrase could end the interview instantly or result in something more unpleasant. Even with our (admittedly brief) history, that feeling never quite left me. Even with his good performance, the team had still lost, leaving me just to wait and see what kind of mood the Brit was in.
The big rat paused, looking off into the distance, before he let out a laugh and gave a charming, lopsided grin. “I got me ‘ead on straight f’ th’ first time in a long time, mate! Sometimes ya forget what ya fightin’ for, eh?” he said, clapped me on the shoulder, and jogged his way into the back with his team, head held high. I laughed as well. I’m still not sure what he meant by that, but whatever it is, I hope he doesn’t forget it again.
Welcome back, Alfie.
After being away for several weeks, the rat makes his return to the court.
This story isn't really part of the primary canon, but I wanted to do it anyway, as it sets things up nicely. After all he's been through, as we'll see soon, Alfie has very much hit a point in his life where he's being somewhat "reborn". Also gave us a chance to go back to "article" style writing.
For some, the journey may take longer, but it's only because they have further to go.
From the Alley to the Big City is a creative collaboration between shanerufus and pac set in the FBA universe.
for a complete list of art, stories, audio and more, please view the project index or visit the official FAtBC website!
- by R. Rozich
They said it would never happen.
Actually, that’s a phrase one could use to follow the career of Alphonse Norwich IV from its beginning. He would never get drafted. He’d never make it as a professional athlete. The team would buy him out before the end of his first season. When tabloids dug up photographs of the rat amidst civil unrest in his hometown, it was that he’d simply stay there. That Alphonse was not able to survive outside his little hole in England. Most recently, in the aftermath of a headbutt against a referee, the line was that the rat with the colorful mohawk would never set foot on an FBA court again.
For a while, it seemed as if they were right. A fifteen day suspension suddenly had that apocalyptic term “indefinite” attached to it, contingent upon his anger management counselor giving him the green-light to play again. What happened to change the suspension? No one would say, but the idea of the big rat ever getting the go ahead from a therapist struck most in the twitterverse and blogosphere as about as likely as the Brit suddenly sprouting feathers. Love him or hate him, most would agree that anger was as much an intrinsic quality of Alphonse as his tail and teeth.
For a moment, it seemed like the tumultuous career of Alphonse Norwich IV had come to an end. What you may think of that is your own opinion. Then, a surprise tweet from Baltasár Torrealba on Wednesday told the world that, against all odds, Alfie was coming back. T-Balt might not be Alfie’s teammate, and almost certainly isn’t his friend, but they do share an agent, so it made sense that the giant tortoise would be speaking from a position of knowledge.
On April ninth, Alphonse jogged out onto the court in Santa Ana’s Prism Palace, not to sit on the sidelines and watch, but to play.
Alfie has been famously described as a player you love to play with, but hate to play against. The Hawaii home crowd loves the rat’s physical, borderline brutish style, one that recalls Julio Onca in his earlier days (an accurate parallel in more ways than one). Opponents and detractors call him a bully, they say that he plays dirty, he has no business on the court. Whether Alphonse is an enforcer bringing a unique physicality to the game or a thug sullying the league’s name largely depends upon which side of the ball you happen to be on.
The Santa Ana crowd certainly made vocal what they thought of him. A year ago, Alfie might have let them know what he thought of them right back, but on this night, he kept quiet. Was it possible that the suspension had, somehow, done some good?
As the tip-off set the game in motion, Alphonse sat on the bench, awaiting his chance to answer that question. “Sat” might not even be the right word, “perched” is more like it. Every muscle in the rat’s body seemed flexed, like a coiled spring. His legs bounced as if unable to hold still. This would normally have been his time to joke with teammates, trash talk either the other team or the crowd (depending), and take a sip of something that may or may not be a sports drink. Tonight, Alfie’s muzzle stayed closed, his eyes unblinking as he watched the game in front of him.
Near the end of the first, Scoonie Barrett jogged off and tagged in Alfie pro wrestler style, complete with a big dramatic high five. The rat’s chance to silence critics, or prove them right, was here.
Even Alphonse’s most unyielding critics would have struggled to find fault with his performance. Gone were the dozens of reckless shots on the net, the bulldozer style footwork, elbows and shoulders thrown like cudgels. To wit, the first thing the rat did as he sprinted out was seamlessly weave into a play that led to his first of four assists for the night. I hesitate to call Alfie “elegant”, no one would ever confuse him for Victor Vos, but watching him feed the ball to Julian Cross-Kiraly (himself coming back from a lengthy absence for wildly different reasons) for a downright gorgeous three left me with that old sitcom cliche in mind: who was this, and what had he done with Alfie?
The first test, if you want to call it that, came midway through the second quarter as an accidental trip sent Alphonse sprawling to the floor. Even the fans in the crowd who had decried his return were suddenly engaged, wondering if they’d be witnessing another show. There was almost disappointment in the air as Alfie bounced back up to his feet and simply shook himself off, then jogged to the free throw line. No barking, no gnashing of teeth, no crackling tension of a possible fight. Even the waved balloons behind the clear board didn’t distract the rat as he sunk both attempts.
Alfie has always been aggressive on the court, but it always seemed like aggression towards his opponents themselves. Combative, if you will. His fouls never quite looked as accidental as he said they were, and critics have always been eager to point out his myriad offenses that the referees didn’t notice. Of course, Alphonse himself has always defended his style, referring to his old days on the Hughes Park court in Toxteth.
“If I ain’t gonna win th’ game, I’m gonna win th’ fight, eh?” he famously laughed during a post-game press conference, prompting plenty of commentators to wonder which half of that he was really more interested in.
At the Prism Palace tonight, there was no question. To wit, the most foul-happy player in the league escaped his seventeen minutes of floor time without a single violation, a feat he’s not accomplished in nearly a year (April fourteenth of last season, to be specific). For Alphonse to be the most well behaved player out of the starters and bench, well, I don’t need to say just what’s so incredible about that. Everything that needed to be said shown on head coach Richard Berk. The honey badger was as tense as anyone when he allowed Alphonse to begin his first game back, but by the end, he was laughing in disbelief that this was, somehow, the same rat who had exited a month and a half ago with a first-half foul-out with a headbutt exclamation point.
By the end of the game, Alphonse Norwich IV had racked up a starter’s numbers with bench play time, only failing to get on the boards in three pointers, turnovers, and fouls. There was no doubt who the Big Kahuna of the night would be, and even if Hawaii hadn’t managed to come away with a victory, the team still walked off court encouraged. Their rat was back, and it looked as if he was better than ever.
I managed to get a quick moment of Alphonse’s time as he exited the Prism Palace. I had questions, dozens of them, all swirling around in my mind, but knew there was only time to ask one. What could I go into? The counseling? His absence on the sidelines during the latter half of his suspension? The rumor mill swirling? In the end, I went for a question that, although cliche as they come, was as direct as any other.
“That was your best game in a long time, Alphonse!” I called out, holding my little recorder at arm’s length. “Even after a long suspension, and with all that’s been going on, it looks like you’re at the peak of your game. What’s got you so focused?”
Since he rarely grants interviews, especially not one on one, many of my colleagues don’t know what it’s like to ask Alphonse Norwich IV questions. For those unaware, there’s always a feeling of walking on eggshells around Alfie, like a poor turn of phrase could end the interview instantly or result in something more unpleasant. Even with our (admittedly brief) history, that feeling never quite left me. Even with his good performance, the team had still lost, leaving me just to wait and see what kind of mood the Brit was in.
The big rat paused, looking off into the distance, before he let out a laugh and gave a charming, lopsided grin. “I got me ‘ead on straight f’ th’ first time in a long time, mate! Sometimes ya forget what ya fightin’ for, eh?” he said, clapped me on the shoulder, and jogged his way into the back with his team, head held high. I laughed as well. I’m still not sure what he meant by that, but whatever it is, I hope he doesn’t forget it again.
Welcome back, Alfie.
After being away for several weeks, the rat makes his return to the court.
This story isn't really part of the primary canon, but I wanted to do it anyway, as it sets things up nicely. After all he's been through, as we'll see soon, Alfie has very much hit a point in his life where he's being somewhat "reborn". Also gave us a chance to go back to "article" style writing.
For some, the journey may take longer, but it's only because they have further to go.
From the Alley to the Big City is a creative collaboration between shanerufus and pac set in the FBA universe.
for a complete list of art, stories, audio and more, please view the project index or visit the official FAtBC website!
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1101 x 1280px
File Size 106 kB
HAPPY RAT DANCE!!! Great little "article" and I like that you had Rozich as the writer, nice connection with earlier chapters. The big goon seems more relaxed and positive. So, the visit to Toxteth helped clear out some cobwebs, eh? Can't wait o read more about it! Also, Alfie in counseling........BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! Sorry, sorry, obviously that has helped too, but the details should be intriguing.
This is such a great story. Been loving it from the beginning. Have a quick question through, in dawn of a new day, Alfie and the alley rat Skins got into a fight where Skins mentioned something about not seeing Gordy again and I was wondering if we’ll ever find out who Gordy is?
Man, there's an old nugget. XD
I started that story a few times but never finished it. The short version is that since we have been focusing on Alfie's direct story (and Terry's) we sorta ran out of the ability to flesh out the side stories.
BUT, we've been talking for a while now about rejiggering things once Alfie's big ol' arc is wrapped up and start just telling Alley stories that aren't connected to the FBA, and that's where Gordy would come in I think.
I started that story a few times but never finished it. The short version is that since we have been focusing on Alfie's direct story (and Terry's) we sorta ran out of the ability to flesh out the side stories.
BUT, we've been talking for a while now about rejiggering things once Alfie's big ol' arc is wrapped up and start just telling Alley stories that aren't connected to the FBA, and that's where Gordy would come in I think.
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