The only thing In life I really hope for is that when I die I either don't realize it when it happens or don't die alone (in a 'surrounded by people who love me' way rather than a 'others die along with me' way).

Otherwise I'm just learning to accept that I'm never going amount to anything big and do my best to matter in small ways. Idk...the 'small ways' aren't really that small I guess. I know I've made the lives of others at least a little better. Maybe I've eased a little suffering.

At least it's something.

Have you ever heard the song "Perfect" by the British punk band "The The"?


Passing by a cemetery
I think of all the little hopes and dreams
That lie lifeless and unfilled beneath the soil
I see an old man fingering his perishing flesh
He tells himself he was a good man and did good things
Amused and confused by life's little ironies
He swallows his bottle of distilled damnation

Yeah funny thing is I love that tune.

You best believe I will grin at the Reaper! And in contrast to zidders above, I plan on being hated by most by my final hour. I want to go out like Socrates. I'm a philosopher at heart. I think the poem is mostly well-crafted, and I like the message. However, to me, it feels like something is missing right before the penultimate stanza. I can't give a detailed analysis/critique of it, like I did for a few of your early poems. Doing that always took a lot of my time. But, good job. By the way, do I detect a slight hint of nihilism or am I just imagining that?

Yes, you do detect a bit of nihilism, although it's the type brought on by world-weariness.

It's the type of weariness that was perhaps best captured by William Wilfred Campbell in An October Evening: http://www.poemhunter.com/best-poem.....tober-evening/

With regards to the jump before the second-last stanza, I was trying for a bit of an eyeball kick, but you may be correct in that the gap might be a little too large for it to work. I'll give it some more thought and see what I can come up with.

Also, with regards to being hated at your death... How very Machiavellian. ;)

Man...I really appreciate how much you help me keep it real.

I'll take that as a compliment. :P