I'm still open for story commissions, note me if interested

This started up as a funny idea, and now it's a thing! Better not mess around the Kobold Inquisition! :o

Art by  bunnylace

Now here's the story

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No one expected the Kobold Inquisition…

The night at the tavern was like any other. Drunken people partying and singing; locals, adventurers, travellers, merchants, all kinds of people there. Tonight, the ambience was broken when three little guys, all dressed in red, bumped into the place. The one at the front had a baton in hand while the two others were armed with crossbows. These three little guys were Kobold.

People were whispering in the room. "Who are they?" "I think it's the inquisitors." "Ssshhh, you don't want to mess with those guys."

The nervous Bartender was looking at the inquisitors, who were starting back at him. "How… how may I serve you?" Asked the Bartender, nervously.

The Inquisitor at the front was tapping the palm of his scaly hand with his baton. "Greeting mister Rochepierre. We travelled for a while only to get a little discussion with you. I'm sure you won't mind giving us some time to talk."

The main Inquisitor was looking around, then at the crowd of customers. "You see, I've noticed the lack of Kobold personal amongst your employees. May you give us an explanation?"

The Bartender was looking around, like if he was expecting someone to do or say something before he answered. "May I offer you an ale? On the house, of course."

The Inquisitor declined. "I don't need more lizard friends at the moment, mister Rochepierre."

"Would a glass of wine be better?"

The crowd and the Bartender were waiting for the main Inquisitor to answer. Since he remained silent, the Bartender picked a bottle from a reserve, opened it and he filled three glasses, that he handed to the three Inquisitors. Each one takes the glass, but none drink from it.

"This is kind of you, mister Rochepierre, but I'm sure one of your customers would appreciate this drink more than I do. You there, it's yours." Said the main Inquisitor before pointing a customer who walked by, very unsure of this gift.

"No! Don't drink from this! No, err, I mean, this guy shouldn't drink wine reserved for people of your ranks."

"Tsk tsk tsk, what would prevent me to grant such a refined drink to someone that deserves it more. Go on, take a sip."

The customer looks at the glass of wine and drinks from it. When he finished his glass, he falls down on the floor, causing surprised reactions in the room and a lot of whispering.

"Very interesting, mister Rochepierre, I'm sure you can explain this 'little incident'." Said the main Inquisitor, before pointing the knocked out guy on the floor.

"He must have been very drunk! The wine was too much for him!"

The main Inquisitor grinned. "Let's hope you're telling the truth then. Now, answer my question: could you explain your lack of Kobold employee?"

There are whispers in the room. "A Kobold here?" "That would be uncommon." "Would he speak our language right?" "Wouldn't he be too small?" "Sshh, they can hear us."

The main inquisitor was staring at the Bartender. "Answer!"

"Well, no kobold tried to get hired here before, mr. Inquisitor."

"Wrong! I've made my little reseach and there was a kobold that wanted to either be a waiter or a minstrel here. You and a band of adventurers kicked him in the bum until he left."

"Oh, I think I remember. He was armed and he told weird things. He seemed dangerous."

"Dangerous? He tried to greet you in his own language. And as much as I know, many of your customers are adventurers and most of them carry weapons at the moment. Could you explain why would you kick that Kobold and not any other of your customers?"

"This is enough, I'm sick of listening to this little guy. I'm sure I beat up those guys in less than ten seconds." Shouted an adventurer in the room.

"No! Don't mess around with the inquisitors." Said another adventurer.

"Like if I care. I swear…"

The main Inquisitor was pointing his baton at the adventurer. The tip started shining with a dark purple light. The adventurer had fallen on the ground.

"… That you'll be silent for a while. Now back to you, mister Rochepierre; answer these questions if you don't want to face the same treatment!"

The two other inquisitors aimed their crossbow at the Bartender; one is aiming the head, the other is aiming the crotch area.

"Please… I don't want to die…" Begged the Bartender.

"You're still not answering the question. Shall I order the end of your miserable life?"

"No! Please, I didn't want to take the chance of hiring a member of a race with a bad reputation."

"Bad reputation? It's pretty silly to judge a whole race based on a few individuals. I could do the same with you, humans. I should simply dispose of you right now."

The main Inquisitor raised his baton and the two other inquisitors were ready to shoot. One of the waitresses cried.

"No! Please! Give me a second chance. I'll do everything you want. I'll even hire the next kobold that gets into this place."

The main Inquisitor raised his hand to hold the fire.

"This is what I wanted to hear all along." He grinned. "This shall be granted."

The main Inquisitor waved his baton and a flash of dark light blinded the people in the room. When the light faded, the Bartender was no longer there. There was a confused kobold instead under a pile of clothes.

"Our work here is done. Let's move on…"

The three inquisitors left the tavern before fading under the veil of the night. They shouldn't have underestimated the Kobold Inquisition. May he learned his lesson…