You have such a talent for natural feeling and flowing conversation! So much here that catches hold of my attention! I'm especially intrigued by the contrast between the airships of the Talwyn and those of the Ashurians and sets my mind into wondering how their societies differ too.

Dialogue is one of those areas that I think I just have a natural gift for. I know how people talk and how conversations flow, so that's probably my strongest natural point for writing.

At some point I'll get into the airships, though their societies will become somewhat evident if you follow the comic, which so far is just a few installments, but it's got quite a bit to go. :)

Very well done. I'm really looking forward to future chapters to see how this goes.

Most appreciated! I've had the ideas for the four main arcs in my head for a while, and this was the first of a few ideas designed to fill in the gaps. There are quite a few ideas that while not large enough to take up more than a short story, help fill in the world a bit.

The story looks great! I really like how well you've fleshed things out since the rough draft, and given us a lot more information on the impending war and some of the family's background and history. It helped your world feel that much more real, and it helped bring home the urgency of what was happening in the wider world and why Topaz's parents would be so worried about her learning to cast spells. Or about Starr joining the military. I think you've done a really good job at showing how proud they are of their children, too, though.

I really liked the dialog, and I thought it flowed a bit more naturally in this version. Especially in the early conversations with the children, after dinner the first night. The whole thing is really nicely done, and as I said earlier, it really does make you want to know more about their world and what happens to them in the future. Plus I thought Topaz's eagerness was really charming, too.

Most of the editing was done on the front end, thanks to some helpful comments from Leenden that has me working on how I write to be more fluid and less formal, I tend to fall back on some standby's that I shouldn't, but I'm working on it.

I'm glad I managed to fill in some of the blanks, my end goal with the short stories is to tackle all the questions that might be asked but are not approached in the main stories. Since the initial story began on the last day of the war, since then I went back and planned what happened just before it. Some of my ideas will take place during the war and during the occupation, and in between. :)

Dialog is one of the things I think I'm usually more natural at then others. Not to say I'm perfect, but I know how people talk and can usually do it with needing less editing later than the parts in between.

Topaz gets more focus than Starr, seeing as she's a main character, and he's recurring, but he does pop up later on though how I'm still working on. I need to get on that. LOL.

Topaz is one of those girls that while she's smart, she does let her excitement get the better of her sometimes. Like most cats, she's always curious. She likes to learn by trying things, not to mention she's a big book nerd. When she first started, she was pretty one dimensional, I think, but she's grown exponentially since then.

It sounds like a pretty ambitious goal, but definitely a worthwhile one. I've found short stories to be rather useful for addressing things that my longer stories didn't, or can't. Since there's only so much you can do in any given story, it can be a lot of fun to go back and revisit other things at a later date. If nothing else, it can be good for helping you flesh out your world a bit more, too. Not that I'm telling you anything you don't know! I just mean it as encouragement.

I tend to struggle a bit with dialog. It was one of the areas I was really weak in when I was starting out, and one in which I like to think I've improved a fair bit. Though I still find it hard to write natural sounding dialog for children. Ciara's baby sister Brigit is a fairly important character in the story I'm currently working on, and all the dialog I've written for her sounds much too adult to me. So I definitely admire you for being able to do it so well, and to make it sound so natural for all of your characters.

I think most characters start out fairly flat. Most of mine did, and it took a while to get thing fleshed out properly. But I've always thought that was half the fun, and it gives you a lot more room to let both them and their story grow naturally.

That's my thought exactly. It's my hope that between the comics and the stories I'll create one of the most well developed universes out there, though I know there's a lot of competition, but I still think that against most I can hold a candle.

I know that sometimes I have trouble getting started, or finishing longer pieces, and especially the editing part, but at least as long as I have fun with it it's worth it.

Everyone has to start somewhere, I suppose. While Topaz started out as a dancer, changing to a corporate princess and then a gifted missing girl, and finally her present iteration, I like how she finally ended up. ;)

There isn't much I can add that others have not already said. This is splendid work Lauren. You should be proud!

I'm glad you liked it. ;) I need to run it through one more draft when I finish the next project I'm working on, when i do I'll update the file. ;)

I really enjoy your writing style. Lovely dialogue and strong world building. I can't wait to read more of your work

Thanks for the encouragement. :)

It's often tough for me to just invent worlds every time, but I seem to create stronger work when I have established universes that I have time to get emotionally invested in and work out all the minutiae. I prefer knowing why everything works even if you just say 'this is why'. Though some of my universes use magic, there's always a limit, a purpose for everything. There is no such thing as magic solving everything in my worlds.

I believe more in stories and worlds when I see people both in furry and in mass media that when they create something it has consequences, just like in real life. So you want magic in your world. Fine, what does that do to the world? How do people use it? Can anyone do it? What can they do with it? Where are the limits? What are the drawbacks?

I love answering those questions.

I happen to think that dialogue is one of my strongest points. I think I'm really good at coming up with things you can actually hear people say and giving each one an appropriate voice. I couldn't really say how I do it, but I just seem to have a good instinct for it.

I'm a slow writer these days, but considering for a long time my output was zero, it's better than it was. ;) I'm hoping to have in a couple of weeks or so at least two finished first drafts that I can put up and so on. :)

I completely understand about the slow writing. I've just finally started getting back into it, after a long hiatus. I've looked at my collection of WIPs and nearly fell over XD

World-creation is my strength and my weakness. I love exploring the questions of each new realm and how the characters live in it and are affected by it. Of course, that desire sometimes gets the best of me... I have glorious worlds, but no sorry to show for it XD I think it comes from my time writing RPGs. You build entire worlds with the knowledge that someone else will be making the characters.

But, when I can get the characters going, I do enjoy letting them play and talk. I've been told that's my real strength, but I always have trouble believing it. I'm my own worst critic

I will say this, though. Reading your work has definitely opened my eyes to new possibilities for projects. So thank you for your inspiration.

And, as always, I look forward to your upcoming stories

Yeah, my hiatus was 2 full years. I'd written full time for about 2 years prior, 40 hours a week all the time, and it burned me out. I started suffering from some bad anxiety, and lost the desire to go pro with it, at least. Finally after 2 years I had healed enough to want to write again, and so here I am. I've got a lot of work from ages ago that either no longer applies or I've gotten so much better than I was, but depending on who you ask I guess that's subjective.

I'm a big fan of story arcs, so I always love to see where I can take a universe. I used to write like I was writing a television series, but these days I seem to do really well with trilogy style writing. The first one to establish, the second to expand, and the third to show off. ;)

I know about the being your own worst critic. For me, I write a lot by passion and it's not hard to knock me out of writing mode and into safety mode where I don't feel like writing...

I'm glad I could inspire, and thanks for the support, finding acceptance as a writer is tough, and so rare, so I appreciate it when I can convey what I hope to with my ideas. :)

With luck, I'll have a draft to post of something in a couple of weeks. I might post something sooner, but we'll see.

Very impressive, as always. Interesting world (though how the major powers have not -explored- their surroundings properly always puzzles me) and excellent characterization.

Well, it's not that they haven't, but the Ashurians were isolationist for some time, until the energy crisis, and the Talwyn generally don't go where they're not wanted, so the two powers largely avoided each other for several decades at least.

Thank you for the comments, I've finally reached a point where I feel my work is strong enough to have a lasting effect. ;)