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This is a bit of a vent, and expression of my thoughts... so bare with me <3
I used to think that online relationships, online friendships were so much easier than real life...I was wrong. My anxiety and social problems in person make it so difficult for me to feel comfortable around others, and the internet really takes most all of that away. I feel more free to be who I feel inside... to express my opinions and feelings and thoughts without being in a situation that makes me cower or hide around others. If things get too difficult, its so easy to walk away and breathe, to come back to the situation once I have a calm, collected mind.
But in all that ease and comfort of online friends... there also comes a darker side. You have the ability to cut off all communication with someone in the heat of your disagreement. That problem, or issue that is between 2 online friends is stopped abruptly so to lessen the pain, or protect you from the other... or at times from yourself, and that part is great, but it also cuts off all attempts to make amends later down the line, and to some extent, the ability to heal with it. It takes away that ability to go to that person, to apologize for the hurt you may have caused them, to let them know its OKAY... that friends disagree, no one will ever be 100% on anything, and that misunderstandings can come up... It takes away that ability to tell that person that once meant sooo much to you, (and in most cases still does whether you admit it or not) that you hold no ill will to them, that you wish them only the best. It takes away the chance to smooth over the bumps and issues that make coming to a place you both mutually love that much more difficult.
It doesn't have to be difficult. It dosen't have to be hurtful.
I felt this needed to be expressed, cause I know I have hurt others in the past, one in particular that is on my mind... and I want them to know that its okay. To just breathe and enjoy yourself, cause I know it was hard for you, and I dont want it to be, I dont want it to be any more hurtful than it already feels, I wish it didnt hurt for you at all. I want those bumps, those obstacles to smooth out... but because of the way things were left, that communication has been destroyed, I regret that fully.
To all those that I have wronged in the past, I hope you know that I will hold no grudge, that I still care about alot of you, and I think the ones that I do care for, know that I do.
Silver and art © to me
firefly8083
...no I am not willing to talk about this to others, This is not meant to cause drama or gossip, I just had no way to express this, and I really needed to. Thanks for understanding <3
I used to think that online relationships, online friendships were so much easier than real life...I was wrong. My anxiety and social problems in person make it so difficult for me to feel comfortable around others, and the internet really takes most all of that away. I feel more free to be who I feel inside... to express my opinions and feelings and thoughts without being in a situation that makes me cower or hide around others. If things get too difficult, its so easy to walk away and breathe, to come back to the situation once I have a calm, collected mind.
But in all that ease and comfort of online friends... there also comes a darker side. You have the ability to cut off all communication with someone in the heat of your disagreement. That problem, or issue that is between 2 online friends is stopped abruptly so to lessen the pain, or protect you from the other... or at times from yourself, and that part is great, but it also cuts off all attempts to make amends later down the line, and to some extent, the ability to heal with it. It takes away that ability to go to that person, to apologize for the hurt you may have caused them, to let them know its OKAY... that friends disagree, no one will ever be 100% on anything, and that misunderstandings can come up... It takes away that ability to tell that person that once meant sooo much to you, (and in most cases still does whether you admit it or not) that you hold no ill will to them, that you wish them only the best. It takes away the chance to smooth over the bumps and issues that make coming to a place you both mutually love that much more difficult.
It doesn't have to be difficult. It dosen't have to be hurtful.
I felt this needed to be expressed, cause I know I have hurt others in the past, one in particular that is on my mind... and I want them to know that its okay. To just breathe and enjoy yourself, cause I know it was hard for you, and I dont want it to be, I dont want it to be any more hurtful than it already feels, I wish it didnt hurt for you at all. I want those bumps, those obstacles to smooth out... but because of the way things were left, that communication has been destroyed, I regret that fully.
To all those that I have wronged in the past, I hope you know that I will hold no grudge, that I still care about alot of you, and I think the ones that I do care for, know that I do.
Silver and art © to me
firefly8083...no I am not willing to talk about this to others, This is not meant to cause drama or gossip, I just had no way to express this, and I really needed to. Thanks for understanding <3
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Housecat
Size 1000 x 978px
File Size 655.5 kB
Listed in Folders
I want to write something in response to your shpeel but I can't really think of anything clear to write.
I have similar feelings towards online friendships, that in a way they can still be easier. But with such a time investment, it becomes clear how much they can be comparable to the friendships in reality.
After being unable to really think of much, I'll say that the picture is really nice. It's relaxing.
I have similar feelings towards online friendships, that in a way they can still be easier. But with such a time investment, it becomes clear how much they can be comparable to the friendships in reality.
After being unable to really think of much, I'll say that the picture is really nice. It's relaxing.
mmhm. I treat my online friends very much so as I would friends in real life. I am a bit of a recluse, so my real life, in person friends... well... i dont really have any... so those ones online mean very much to me.
thank you for the compliment <3 I enjoyed drawing it, it calmed my mind and let me breathe, to relieve stress ^^ I am glad that it came across as calming <3
thank you for the compliment <3 I enjoyed drawing it, it calmed my mind and let me breathe, to relieve stress ^^ I am glad that it came across as calming <3
Yeah, I try to treat those who I see as friends in a way that I'd like to be treated. In reality I am an introvert and only hang out with two of my friends. Issues coming up between friends online are very important to me in that I want to resolve them as best I can. I've written quite a bit about the sort of thing in my last couple journals (so if you'd like, feel free to read them, perhaps we can relate?) lots of it has been weird bothers to me.
And you're welcome;
More calming artwork is a definite must. :)
And you're welcome;
More calming artwork is a definite must. :)
I agree with you to a point! You see, making amends isn't the only way to heal, I've long since moved past my problems with another individual, but I know that building that bridge to the individual would only result in more trouble. With them no longer existing to me beyond a memory, things have been fine, I've been happy, enjoying my time with others, and I no longer even think about anything directed to them around what I'm able to still read or see. It's really been the best medicine for me. That said, sometimes you can value people much more than that, and that separation is much harder, and sometimes not the avenue you want to go down. Over all, there's a place for both complete disconnect and completely burying of the hatchet.
mmm yes... I see your point. There are those that I feel I am better off keeping them a memory, there are some people that you are naturally going to do better away from cause your differences are far too great. And that can be the way that others feel about you when you dont necessarily do about them.
I am one that frequently thinks of my past (its kinda a bad habit) so it takes a lot for me to heal... but I have healed to some point with most ended relationships ^^
I am one that frequently thinks of my past (its kinda a bad habit) so it takes a lot for me to heal... but I have healed to some point with most ended relationships ^^
Oh, I'm one that dwells there sometimes too, some things I'll never forget or let go of, those are people sometimes valuable enough to bridge the gap for, though, especially if that's how you feel about them. I have one person like that and she's someone I value greatly, I let her back into my life too
Just saw this again when I was stalking your gallery and teared up a bit. I will never stop being thankful for you being in my life. Your friendship and love has always meant the world to me. I know we can't get back lost time, but I sure as hell won't let us lose anymore. I love you Kimmy, and I'm so glad you found your happiness.
*hugs tight* I love you too and I hated the split between us... and I am sooo happy that you immediately got this ^^ I never stopped loving you, never stopped thinking about you... and I always missed you. I am glad you are back in my life, and I pray that you stay <3 <3
I'm not going anywhere. Originally I was hurt, but so quickly it turned into regret and I didn't know how to fix it. I didn't think it could be fixed. I convinced myself that there was no going back even though I wanted to SO BAD. I remember going to your page almost monthly to see how you were doing and torture myself. I don't think there was a moment that my heart didn't stop wishing for you to come back. I hated realizing that it was all a misunderstanding and that it could of been so easily avoided. It's heartbreaking that we lost so much time, but thankfully that never has to happen again. I fully intend on being here until the end of my days.
I remember seeing this for the first time and I cried in relief, it took me but moments to open a note and write to you. It felt like I was whole again, like there had been a piece missing for too long and you came back and it just fit like Cinderella's glass slipper. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you always left room for me in your heart as well.
I remember seeing this for the first time and I cried in relief, it took me but moments to open a note and write to you. It felt like I was whole again, like there had been a piece missing for too long and you came back and it just fit like Cinderella's glass slipper. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you always left room for me in your heart as well.
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