We all have that one dark side lurking in the shadows waiting for a chance to strike, one way or another and that feasts/grows on the pain or others.

Thank you so very much, you are too sweet <3

Thank you lovely, and I thank you munch on the compliments on the picture, and that you see so much emotion in the piece.. that's the main thing I strive for in my art. <3

this looks like something of a departure from your normal style. i'm not sure what it is but i really really rEALLY love it.

I guess it kind of is, isn't it? I was just going through some art and to get refs of my own characters (pffft how lame and how sad I haven't drawn them in that long!) and then I came back to this and was like yknow I think you are right this does look look kinda different than my usual stuff. Idk I was just feeling really angry and miserable at the same time and this song came to mind for some reason so I just spontaneously drew this. I guess I was just inspired, it kinda just happened. Thank you for pointing that out, I'm gonna keep this in mind. <3

that's when i feel like i do my best work and figure things out, when i'm super depressed or angry or just feeling something very strongly, so i can totally understand. it just blows hard because no one wants to be in those moods long enough to put out an entire piece.

but it looks really really really friggin good.

Nothing but lies from the Father of Lies.
*hugs you bunches with much love*
VERY emotional piece work here.

Thank you so very much, for the hugs and the compliment about this being an emotional piece. That's what I put the most into my art. Even if it's not all technically correct I still try to put my feelings into it. *more hugs* <333

I used to play this song when I had a bad day at work... it emulates my entire perception of how the slave-trade coincides with the grocery industry.

Your take on Trent's bad-assery is poignant and quite remarkable! Anyone who finds this song or piece itself scary or offensive is obviously missing the larger picture by far. >;3

Kudos!!!

This response is late, I apologize, but I wanted to say thank you! I'm glad that you noticed my rendition of the song and find it suitable. I was really trying to portray that through this picture! Thank you !! <3

My character Virage I'd my Demitri. Whatever temptation he is trying to bestow o on her
I hope you can block it out . Emotions like that normally don't work alone so try to relax.
Listen to music, talk to friends just anything to ease your mind.

You know, I have been trying to do as such. For a long time I stopped drawing, I know you know that. I just didn't… and a lot of it was because of a dark place I was in in my life. And so my emotions would build up and explode in me in the worst possible of ways. But now that I'm drawing again it helps… even if it doesn't make it go away, it helps some. Even if I don't feel like drawing, if I sit down and make myself there are usually some positive results. And listening to some music I haven't in a while has been pretty inspiring. I need to do that more.
I hate we have such asshole characters like this in our brains. They are pretty but jerks. Dicks.
>:|

Sadly I have been finding a happy medium with Virage. With all this stress
and depression I have right now I find myself closer to him but that's not good -_-;

This is him https://www.weasyl.com/submission/8.....-says-fuck-you

Ah I remember him! I like his name, does it by chance have a relation to the word Mirage, but switched up a bit?

Trust me when I say I understand feeling more of a kinship with these voices. Sometimes Dimitri and I feel like we are getting way too close for comfort… or Delu and me… and when we do it feels really terrifying. I'm really sorry that you're feeling closer to him. One thing I've found is trying to lean on a different voice. I know when Dimitri starts to dig his claws in I try to poke at Anima who can try to dig me out, but when I'm really depressed it's hard to get out period. And honestly - this could be good for you. Relating to a voice that feels like you when you are in a certain space can be healthy, until they start to bring you down - then it's not.
I know something's wrong when I start drawing SW and Dimitri more… and when they start getting along more… I hope you can pull out of this. I send you all the loves, and Ani sends you lots of hugs

Actually I got his name from the game Legend of Dragoon, it's such an emotionally powerful rpg.
The Virages were corrupted creatures that -used- to be good but were turned evil by the final boss of the game.

SO I figured the name fit.

Thank you for commenting, you always do and I appreciate every word you say. And you're right, we all do, it's just hard to own up to it and portray it sometimes you know? But I guess sometimes you just gotta get it out. Trying to draw more helps vent some of those feelings, so I'm gonna try to keep at it.

Oh my god, Jolyn, I don't even know where to begin. It's so weird that you should post this because I swear I haven't drawn much of anything the last week or two and yesterday, I just randomly pick up a pen while I'm on the phone at work and out pops Dimitri and Mesquite. Telepathy, man, I'm telling you right now. o__o

But let me just start by saying HOLY FUCKING WOW WHAT THE FUCK JOLYN THIS LOOKS AMAZING!!!!!! Not even kidding, this is so fucking epic!! I mean, the perspectives in their faces, the proportions in their bodies, the bold colors, the highlights, the way the fur and hair lays, the dead, soulless eyes on SW, Dimitri's hands, everything about this is incredible. This is like a whole new stye for you that you're naturally just developing into and it's so distinctive and unique and beautiful. I can tell that this was out of your comfort zone technically and conceptually, but you did it and you nailed it. You just keep impressing me all the time without even trying. And I'm so glad to see you venting these negative energies and using them as fuel for your creativity. We don't ever have to settle for feeling terrible. Although we may not always be able to banish the negativity in our lives, we can channel it, even transform it, from something bitter and ugly into something thoughtful and beautiful. We don't have to hold onto the pain. We are free to let go of it at any time.

I know things are hard right now for both of us. But we can get through this and be better and wiser for the experience. We can get through anything together, ok? Things can only get better. As the infinitely wise Chuck Palahniuk once wrote, "It is only after we have lost everything that we are free to do anything." This is all a blessing in disguise, even though it may not seem like it now. This is all leading up to something wonderful. And in time you can look back on the dark times and know that the Universe had a plan for you all along. Trust in her and you will see that none of your suffering need be in vain. <3

I love you so much, sweetness, and I am so proud of you. You have come so far from where you were. Don't ever forget that. You are a walking miracle every day you're alive. Your experiences will save so many people who have been through what we've been through just as long as we can learn to accept that where we are is exactly where we're meant to be, no matter how painful it gets. All we can do is try our best to learn as much as we can in the process and take comfort in knowing that someone else will not have to suffer because we have suffered for them. We have died and risen again so that others won't have to. Even though the universe has, at times, seemed to be against us, or worse, apathetic to our existence, the truth is that we have been given a gift. The greatest gift of all; life. When both of us know that neither of us should have made it out alive, somehow, here we are. And the best part of it all is that we can share it with those who are still sick and suffering. You have so much more influence than you realize. Your experiences have made you able to help similar others in a way that no one else in the world can because you have been there, seen it, and made it back from the gates of hell alive. Don't take that gift for granted, my Jolyns. You are so special and beautiful and unique and you have so much to offer the world. You have awesome things ahead of you. Don't gve up five minutes before the miracle! :) I love you, my Jolyns. I am always here for you no matter what. I can't wait to have you here with me. <3

You know I got on the computer a few minutes ago and came to FA and was hoping there would be a Laura comment on this picture and then I look and here it is!!! I just love your comments so much because they hold so much meaning. You take the time to truly analyze what I've drawn and to look at the deeper and emotional meaning behind the piece. First off I have to say THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG ;______; FOR THIS ENTIRE COMMENT OK?!

I am floored that you said such nice things about this style I'm falling into. I guess for me I don't see it, because I'm the one drawing it, and I only see these baby steps, while others can see the bigger picture. To me I'm just drawing, like I always have. And it's pretty crazy that a lot of this happened because I wanted to find a quicker way to make finished pieces, so I stopped shading everything and started trying flat coloring and this just kinda happened. I feel like it's still my old style just kinda, improved I guess?
Thank you for the encouragement about their poses, perspective, their bodies and proportions. I'm always anxious I make heads too big and they don't flow with the bodies sometimes. But this was different for me, but the interesting part is it didn't take me long at all, it just flowed out onto paper, I guess cause of how I was feeling. I sketched it, inked it, and colored it all in one night which almost never happens.

And your comments on the meaning… I know you understand every inch of this picture in ways that others cannot, and that's because we've been through the same things. You really made me almost cry with all of what you said… that we've been to the gates of hell and back, still alive, still breathing, and having learned from our experiences. Coming so close to death, and still being here by some sort of miracle.. it reminds me to not let Dimitri get the best of me, no matter how depressed and vulnerable I may feel. Again, I don't see all these steps myself, because I get stuck in my sadness, anger, or current situation. But you help me to see the bigger picture.
I cannnot wait to see you, Laura. I am gonna squeal and squeeze you forever and ever!!! And we are so gonna do some collabs while I'm there because it just must happen.

I'm so happy you replied to this, I love you times a billion trillion infinity + x to the squared power of infinity ok <33333

This look so so sinister, and that makes it really effective. Work that's honest like this always strikes me the hardest, even if it comes from bad times and bad feelings-- better on the paper than festering inside you, i suppose. But regardless, the way you've got it down looks so asjhdaksjdhajshad true to how i've felt in situations like this. Dimitri's positively loooooming over SW, and his closeness looks like it's that kind of false-comforting that people do when theyr'e trying to get you to do things that only serve themselves. The fact that he's so much larger, and that his EARS make him seem huger still, make him seem like this overwhelming force from inside you. Choosing to leave SW's eyes prominantly pupil-less and wide in the focal point of the image just further conveys how helpless she feels. ;3; all teh feels.

I find myself smooshing mammals and brids, and frequently birds adn dogs, together a lot-- Dogs are pretty easy for people to kind of connect with, and see the symbolism behind. Birds, too, all have this kind of automatic rich symbolism to them. So the idea of smooshing bird+dog to make pretty complicated meanings makes perfect sense to me, and further in that you would use that combination to represent You and also Dimitri. You are, by nature of being a person, super complicated, so bird+dog is great for that. All of the concepts that Dimitri represents are similarly complicated and hard to deal with and multifaceted adn the kind that dog you forever. I also think it's particularly poignant that he's a wild species of canine associated with slyness combined with a bird of prey (who have connotations of fierceness and brutality and going after exactly what they want.) Further creepy-awesome is the fact that you're right-- the markings ARE very similar. Go your subconsious?

Super impressed with this picture, basically. And the angular way you've done the faces i htink is also very effective. IT signals to me that this is an emotional picture.

That's on the subject of form. On the subject of content, there's little i can say other than -big hugs- and let me know if there's anything I can do to help you out. You know I think you're awesome and look up to you. D: One of the things i've always admired is that you DO have these demons, and things DO get very dark and shitty for you, but you acknowledge that and you survive. There's strength in survival. The fact that you tenaciously push back, and attack your darkest moments by turning them into something so beautiful as art, and that you don't let these shitty experiences turn you into this cold and withdrawn person is extremely worthy of admiration. I love that you're always willing to talk to people, that you stay so honest in your artwork, that you stay just super nice nad compassionate despite all the bad shit. I'm really not sure that helps at all, but just know that I admire and adore you.

This comment is fashioably late, but yeah. That's still my reactiom. <3 i hope you're feeling better now.

I was waiting to respond to this till I had more brain power because I saw this at like, 2 in the morning after taking sleepy meds and my brain was like nooooooo….
Thank you so much, again, for taking so much time to seriously stop and look at my art and notice the small things. You noticed exactly what I was going for with their poses, Dimitri looming darkly and largely behind SW, her standing there with empty eyes… I didn't even consciously make the empty eyes the focus of the picture, but they ended up at such much to my delight. And him demonstrating that false comfort - that's what he is, false comfort ready to grab me up the second my guard is down and suck me into that dark void where he can take over and break me and make me miserable and push me under, reveling in every moment of it.

And gah yes smooshing dogs+birds just seems to work really well for some reason. Like you said, that softness behind dogs and then the brutality of birds. Again, I unconsciously smooshed a bird+dog together when creating SW back in like, '97 when I made her a Silverbolt rip off from Beast Wars. Little did I know how much it would suit me. I really should have kept the bird all these years, but just didn't feel I'd ever have the pleasure of being able to fly, as it's always been a sort of dream of mine, hence Anima being able to and Dimitri being able to and not SW at first. But they suit so well, because while SW is a social little sweet dog that wants to help everyone, she's a shy introvert with a sort of wild/dark side that few see, that wants to be alone at the same time. Plus I love the idea of how lots of birds mate for life. But it ended up suiting really well again.
And then Dimitri being a wild canine + bird… especially a bird as "wild" as a gyrfalcon that aren't as well known, suited. Shit brain you do things without me even knowing. I really just wanted a pretty bird not like a typical falcon and bam, and I wanted a fox cause I love foxes, bam…

And their markings, wtf… I guess they are a sort of common sort of markings I go for in designs, hence SW. I guess Dimitri really is the darkness of me, a rendition of me of sorts.

Ok random blah blah. You make my brains work and make me think of these things I didn't even notice at first. It's really cool how the human mind works, especially in people like us who come up with these meaningful "characters" that take on these lives of their own.

Thank you so much for your kind words… you saying you admire me just makes me melt, because I admire you to no end. Your work is so incredible, and your depth with your characters has always been an inspiration to me. I try to stay honest with the emotion in my art. I stopped drawing for so long and kept things bottled up until they exploded in the worst of ways inside myself. While I still struggle with that, drawing again has sort of helped with that. Even though I really don't feel like drawing sometimes, sitting down and making myself usually ends up with some positive result in the end.

On that note - I'm leaving for Maryland Monday and may not be able to finish your commission until I get home. Is that ok? I think I mentioned this in my note to you that I think you replied to that I haven't read yet, so if so I am asking a mute point. I'm sure you don't mind, just want to make sure. I'm gonna try to push myself to draw a lot while I'm there. Mayra will make me like the working dog she is, she's a fucking slave art nazi (HEAR ME MAYRA??? HERE LET ME MAKE YOUR NAME KNOWN HERE yeah I'm talking about you!!! ) …lol, she so is, but in the best of ways!
LOVE YOU TONS!

also way to go Jolyn leaving a giant novel in response I apologize x___x

And yes now I see you replied to my note lol! I am a dork
I am gonna reply to you!
<3 <3 <3

yup yup, I know all about this......life is riddled with contradiction. Dichotomy is part of the human experience, and I really appreciate how this piece speaks to that facet of our nature......natures.

i find myself having a lot of existential problems extricating myself from my fursona......I think I have it all mixed up, like I don't know which one of us is which. i think of my "human" self as my jungian "shadow", and my "fursona" as my primary state of being, which is totally screwed up and I know that.....but ehh....I'd like to pass the buck and say that "my shadow" is the one eating all the pills and shooting up and being drunk by noon and all about "schadenfreude" and whatever, and my "realness" is in limbo this moment until technology can make me into a cat, then it'll all be okay...........ehh nvm, im not sure if that makes any sense, but that's what i got out of this, cuz i have a monster inside of me.....I wish I knew which one to blame so I could kill it. ....or embrace it. >.>;;

thanks for letting me see what you saw when you saw it........I know you've had some longg responses, and I don't necessarily want you to write me a fucking novel back. just thought id say what I thought here.

yknow, I've been thinking......if I knew there were one consciousness, like if we were all connected somehow - if there were intelligent alien life, lots of it, that would live on even if humankind went extinct, for example, then I wouldn't be afraid to live anymore, nor would i be afraid to die. if all points of space and time were connected, and we all shared a single consciousness, everything would mean everything or nothing, and that's the best definition of "ataraxia" I could fathom......I'll shut up now. o.o;;;;;