"Hey Mal. Look at that wun. She SO wants you."

"Janette, please? What would my wife say?"

"Yeah, she'd be right. You can do bettah then that."

"Let me guess... Lilah gave this super potent Lilium liquor that normal humans can't even fathom?"

"Fahk yeah! Wan't sum!"

"Janette, when I said 'normal humans can't even fathom', I think that was an obvious no."

"Ya know what yer problem is, Mal? You've got a stick up yer ass the size a' that big fahkin' strap-on Emmy likes ta put in ya."

"And you're problem is that you're an impulsive, obstinate, passionate pervert."

"How long have we know eachuthah?"

"Since kindergarten. "

"Bingo. Ya gotta live a little. When's tha last time ya did sumthin' not GSA ruhlated."

"You need to learn restraint. This conversation's probably revealed more about me than most people want to know."

"Ain't no restrainin' this bitch. Hey, Bahtendah! Mal heah needs anuthah drink!"

"...you're trying to get me laid, aren't you?"

"Like ya don' need it."

---

Yeah, this is more a stupid fun sketch than anything else. The title will make more sense to anyone familiar with the red oni/blue oni dynamic.