The Biggest Babies
by J-Raz
inspired by art created by Rathalos01
featuring characters and plushies belonging to J-Raz and AcePup

In a comfortable den, somewhere in the world…
“No, it’s you, crinkle-roo. How many sleepers do you own?”
“I’m sorry, which of us actually wears diapers all the time?”
Ace tapped furiously at his controller, trying to force his über-macho character through a door that demanded bulging heaving muscles to rip aside pneumatically-driven panels that could slice a mere mortal man in half. His butt rustled as he moved in his bean bag chair. “Yeah, ‘cause I have to! You wear them because you like ‘em!”
Jay spun his own nearly identical über-macho character in place, hosing down a horde of identical insect-lizard-monsters with a gatling gun that fired rocket propelled grenades instead of mere bullets. “Yeah, you have to wear them, because you’re a leaky pup. Ergo, the bigger baby.” The kangaroo rat tapped another button, sending his character into an elaborate execution maneuver where he pulled a chainsaw machete from somewhere on his weapon-festooned body and drove it into a nearby monster, spraying blood everywhere that somehow didn’t smudge his manly sweating arms. “And besides, you like ‘em too. Ergo, super baby. QED.” He stuck his tongue out at (slightly) younger red dog.
“Oh, shut up. It’s a medical condition.” Indeed, the faint shape was visible under his pants.
“A medical condition called ‘Bigbabyitis.’” Jay teased, twitching his long fluffy tail in Ace’s direction to tickle his ear tips. “And in your case, it’s the most extreme record on the books. And it’s incurable.”
Ace glared. “Okay, wise-guy, which of us has actually kept his old plushy from when he was a baby? Hmm?”
Jay responded with his trademark smug grin. “Oh, and which of us can’t sleep without his teddy bear? Remember how much you panicked and freaked out when you forgot him that one night?”
“Hey, don’t make fun of Bear, leaky-rat!”
“That was just… three times,” Jay pouted a bit.
“Five,” Ace crowed triumphantly. “How much do you drink that you’ve completely soaked through those diapers of yours so many times? No wonder you like your padding so thick, it’s the only way you don’t leak everywhere.”
“And how many times have you…” Jay stopped talking and he looked confused. “Hey, Ace, did you bring Cow and Bear down here?”
Ace turned around following Jay’s eye line, and there, sitting on a chair on one side of the big den, was indeed Jay’s old and beat-up stuffed toy cow and Ace’s well-loved teddy bear, both of them staring at them with black beady eyes.
“… no, no I did not.”
They shared a glance: no one else was at the house besides the two of them. Maybe someone had put them down here before they’d left and they’d totally missed them, but that seemed unlikely.
“Huh,” Jay said. This was… a little odd.
“Maybe they wanted to play with us?” Ace half-jokingly suggested.
“Heh, yeah. Okay, maybe they can sit with us during the game.”
Ace laughed. “Okay, sure, sounds like a plan.”
“Here, I’ll grab them,” Jay said, moving to get up.
“No, I’ll grab them,” Ace responded. “No one touches Bear but me.”
“You are SUCH a baby.”
“Shut up, poof-butt.”
The two managed to reach their plushies at the same time and (somewhat) violently grabbed them up and glared at one other, before looking back at their beloved stuffed animal to make sure they weren’t hurt.
“Aww, did the mean roo rat try to grab you, Bear?”
“Did the smelly puppy leak on you, Cow?”
Jay blinked. He could have sworn Cow’s eyes had twinkled there…
Ah! Everything flashed brightly. He closed his eyes against the explosion of color the obscured everything else. The world seemed to spin around him. It was all he could do to stay standing. He stumbled, dropping Cow in his confusion.
Next to him, Ace was doing the same thing, the two of them wobbling like they’d just had a spinning-in-a-circle contest. The two tried to catch each other, but that only made it worse, and the two of them settled for helping the other one sink down to the floor instead. Down there, the world seemed more stable, and the two just sat there, waiting for the world to stop trying to spin them off.
In the corner of their eyes, something moved.
The two turned towards the movement, and saw only their two stuffed animals, lying flopped over on the floor.
And then they moved.
Slowly, jerkily, like two puppets in the hands of an inexperienced owner, Cow and Bear pulled themselves to their feet. They took a step forward, and then another, and another, their movements smoothing out and growing more natural, until it seemed as if they’d always been able to move like that.
Jay and Ace looked at each other. This should be frightening, or at least creepy, but neither of them were particularly worried. It felt right, like, of course Bear and Cow could move on their own. Why wouldn’t they be able to do that?
The two plushies finished their walk, and climbed into their owner’s laps before wrapping their front limbs around their tummies like a hug. Well, what else could you do here? They both hugged back. This was… great, actually. They’d always loved playing with their plushies, and now their plushies could play with them back. They were both so soft and so warm, and there were so many memories of playing with them that were coming back… it was wonderful…
The four sat there on the floor for a while.
Bear and Cow looked up at their owners, and started to wiggle themselves free of the hugs. Jay and Ace let go of them, wondering what their plushies could be doing that was so important.
Bear walked over to the big closet, the one stuffed full of all the stuff that a group of adult babies who hung out in the same house always needed. Jay blushed, having a feeling what was coming soon but totally okay with it. His big sensitive ears twitched as he heard Bear moving around in the closet. Bear soon came back in, pushing a big rolled up plastic-covered mat in front of him, covered in childish designs. Yeah, Jay knew what was coming…
Meanwhile, Cow wandered over to the big TV and turned it off, followed by the game system itself. Ace wanted to protest, to say that they hadn’t saved, but then again maybe it was for the best. He didn’t feel like playing right now anyway. Ace looked down at his fingers. They looked kind of tasty… he stuck his hand in his mouth, to give it just a little taste, and decided he didn’t want to take them out right now. And since they were in there, he might as well start sucking on them. So he did. But Ace still wanted to play with Bear…
“Wet’s go wivv them,” Ace mumbled around his fingers, awkwardly climbing to his feet. The world seemed to have stabilized now, but now his body felt awkward and weird, like it didn’t quite want to respond to his commands.
“Y-yeah,” Jay agreed, trying to stand up but finding it just as hard as Ace was. He giggled as he lost his balance, stumbling forwards after his old stuffed toy. “Wait, come back, Cow… I wantsta play…”
“Bear always wantsta play with me, come back Bear…” Ace followed suit, the two of them trying and failing to keep up with stuffed animals not even two feet tall.
Cow saw what Jay was doing, and somehow managed to look like it was giggling. It waved an arm at him. Jay stumbled after Cow, the old plushy leading him to a soft blanket laid out on the floor. Jay sat down on the floor like a good boy, and smiled at the cow. The cow pointed at the ground beneath Jay, and it’s meaning was clear: stay here. Jay nodded. “Okay, Cow, I’ll be good for you,” he said. He decided to roll onto his back, and realized that his big tail had come between his legs and his silly tail floof was hanging over his head, so he batted at it, giggling as he did so. This was fun! Cow somehow managed to smile, and patted his head before waddling in Ace’s direction.
Ace was standing outside the closet door, looking in. He wanted to follow Bear, but it was dark in there. He couldn’t go into the dark without Bear, Bear made the dark not scary. He danced back and forth lightly on his feet, his tail and ears sagging in fear. A little tap on his leg made him jump, and he looked down: Cow was standing there, looking up at him. Cow offered him his arm, and Ace took it, nervously. Cow wasn’t Bear, but Cow had taken care of Jay, so Cow would take care of him too. Cow led him over to the plastic mat, and made him stand and wait while he rolled it out.
A scraping sound behind him made him turn around. Bear had been busy in the past few minutes since Ace had seen him, dragging a big carrying bag from the closet over to his waiting owner. He crawled all over the bag, slowly unzipping it and flopping the lid open, revealing itself full of changing supplies suitable for big babies. Ace frowned. “Buh I don’t need a change, Bear…” Bear didn’t listen to him, lifting all sorts of things out and letting them tumble to the ground. Cow helped him organize everything, while Ace stared at the two relentless plushies.
Finally, they were all set up, and they looked up at him expectantly. Ace looked down at them, feeling a little nervous about Bear changing him. Cow patted the mat, making his point clear.
“But I…” Bear wagged an arm, and forcibly pointed at the mat. Ace nodded. “Okay Bear.” He didn’t want Bear to be disappointed in him, after all. He was a good puppy. He lay down on the thick crinkly plastic-coated mat, and got comfortable. Bear patted his head, and Ace smiled. Yay, Bear wasn’t mad at him.
Bear and Cow worked together to undo Ace’s pants, tugging them down over his legs and revealing his slightly-soggy medical-grade diaper. Bear shook his head, almost as if tsk-ing: this just would not do. He rubbed Ace’s tummy, making the dog lightly kick his leg and flop loose on the plastic mat. Cow undid Ace’s diaper tapes, flopping the garment open. Ace whined a bit, but Bear slipped a pacifier into his mouth. Ace started suckling, and instantly calmed down. His paci was so nice…
The two plushies got to work while Ace was distracted. Cow cleaned Ace with the baby wipes, while Bear unfolded Ace’s new diaper. They worked together to push Ace to one side, pulling his old diaper away and replacing it with the new one, letting him flop back onto the soft padding. Bear lifted the baby powder above his head, sprinkling it all over Ace: puppies needed to smell sweet and nice, after all. Cow pushed up on the diaper and bear helped pull, the two of them working together to move it into position, before taping Ace snuggly into his new thicker diaper. Bear crawled up to Ace’s head to pat him for being a good boy, and Ace smiled at his bear. “Wuv uu, Beaw,” he mumbled.
“Haha,” Jay said from across the room, “Ace’s a silly baby, he’s got pink diapers!” Ace looked down, and they were in fact bright pink. He didn’t wanna wear pink diapers, those weren’t his, and he felt the tears welling up inside him and he wanted to cry, but then Bear rubbed his tummy again and he felt better. Bear had made him wear them, so they must be his. And he didn’t care what anyone else thought, so long as Bear loved him, and he knew Bear loved him, so he didn’t care.
Cow somehow stalked over to Jay, and waggled a naughty hoof at Jay, who instantly felt ashamed. Cow was mad at him, he had to make it right. “I’s sorry, Ace.”
“Dass ogay,” Ace mumbled.
Jay seemed sufficiently mollified, and Cow rubbed his tummy as a reward. Jay smiled at his beloved Cow. Yay, Cow wasn’t really mad with him…
Bear tapped his tummy, making him look at his little plushy, and the bear started waddling away. “Beaw, come back…” Ace called out, flopping over onto his tummy so he could follow him. He couldn’t quite make his legs work well enough to stand up, but he could still crawl, so he crawled after Bear as fast as he could, his butt waggling and crinkling loudly in the air. Bear led him over to one of the bean bag chairs, and wandered around it out of sight. Ace decided to try and climb over the bean bag chair to surprise Bear, a cunning strategy that failed miserably as he lost his balance and flopped over the big puffy chair. He tried to get up to continue, but Bear pushed something into his hand, something cool and hard. Ace gave it a shake, and it made a noise! It was a rattle! “Heehee,” Ace giggled as he played with his new toy, shaking it to make the funny noise. His tail waggled furiously in his excitement.
Bear left Ace to his own devices and wandered over to the changing mat, where Cow had already settled Jay for his turn. The roo rat smiled and waved at Cow and Bear, who waved back before undoing Jay’s shorts and pulling them off. Cow tugged Jay’s boxers down to join the rest of his and Ace’s clothes in an unimportant pile, while Bear climbed into the diaper bag for Jay’s new clothing. Jay giggled at the treatment, this was fun playing with his toys like this!
A huge blue puffy mass flopped out of the bag, easily twice as thick as Ace’s diaper. Jay blushed at the size of it, but Cow and Bear must know best, and he remembered that he was a leaky baby, so he tried still like a good boy while they unfolded the huge diaper and laid it out, before pushing him onto his side to move it under him. He flopped back onto it, and it was just like a soft fluffy pillow! It was so nice! Cow did the honors this time, covering his diaper area in the sweet-smelling baby powder, as if after this was any doubt as to what he was. Jay gave a big smile as the two plushies pushed his legs apart so they could lift the front up, and finally taped Jay up in his new diaper. He poked at it a bit. The diaper was so thick. The thick padding spread his legs and raised his butt off the ground. He tried to push his legs together, but he couldn’t even manage it: it was just too much bulk. Just the way he liked it.
“Thank you…” Jay blushed as he looked at the two plushies, but they weren’t done yet. Cow dived into the diaper bag, and came back up with a few lumps of cloth that he tossed to the ground next to Jay. Bear unfolded them, and they turned out to be a matching set of soft baby booties and mittens, in baby blue. Jay blushed, he remembered having to wear those once. Cow and Bear started working the booties and mittens onto Jay. They were so soft and warm, and had just enough room so he didn’t feel uncomfortable. Jay just smiled as the two plushies gently tied them so that Jay couldn’t shake them off. He tried to move his hands in the mittens, and all he could manage was a flipper grip. “Heehee,” he giggled. He’d need to use both hands to do stuff like holding his bottle now, but that sounded fun.
Cow wandered away from Jay, motioning to follow him. Jay smiled, and unlike Ace managed to actually get to his feet to try and stumble after Cow. It wasn’t easy going: the diaper forced him to waddle, and his booties made his footing uncertain.
“Haha, Jayzhe a big baybee,” Ace called out around his pacifier, still working at his rattle, a huge dollop of drool escaping his mouth. “He needzh the thickesht diapoosh…”
“Heeheeh, you’s da biggest baybee, Ayshe…” Jay slurred back at him, pointing at Ace. “Yous dwooling evewywhewe…”
Jay finally managed to catch up to Cow, next to his old bean bag chair. He gratefully plopped down into it, a poof of air jetting up his back from the thick diaper: walking was really hard, he should probably just go back to crawling like Ace, the silly baby. Cow patted his knee, and then he went off somewhere Jay couldn’t see, but he was sure Cow’d be back, so he was content to wait. Something tickled his ear tip, and he reached up with a mittened hand to grab it, only for it to escape. It did tickled him again, and escaped a second time, slipping out of his grip. Well, he’d get it this time, he was smarter than whatever it is: he was gonna use both hands now. He waited for the tickle again, and jumped at it, finally grabbing it! Yay! Oh wait, it was his tail, Jay realized. Silly tail, tickling him like that. He decided to stick the big hairy floof in his mouth and suck on it, that would keep his tail from getting in trouble.
Meanwhile, Bear and Cow went into the same closet they’d pulled the diaper bag out, and tugged and pulled until they had their next goal in place: the big collapsible play pen walls. Slowly, they pulled out the parts, one at a time, the material unfolding and straightening into four big soft padded walls suitable for safe play, and to keep babies of any size from wandering away. Ace’s old diaper and their clothes were left outside the ring. Ace and Jay totally ignored the two, completely in their own little worlds now. Bear stood on Cow’s head so they could latch the final corner together, and the enclosure was complete. Now their babies couldn’t get into any trouble.
Bear climbed down off of Cow, and the two surveyed their handiwork. There weren’t two adults here anymore. There were two babies, properly diapered and relaxed, both playing and having fun instead of fighting with each other, just they way things should be. Oh, it wouldn’t last. They’d wake up soon enough and be all grown up again, but until they did, this was all they were. Big happy babies. They both wandered over to their respective baby’s side, and plopped down next to them, ready to be played with and loved again. The briefly bumped their arms together, and then went still. Their work was done.
And now, when everyone came home, they’d all know who the biggest babies were…


A delightful little colored pic that Milo did for me and AcePup, featuring our two characters getting some much-needed baby time, or at least, much needed as decided by our stuffed animals Cow and Bear…

And I love it! Seriously, thanks, Milo, this is super cute and hits a lot of fun buttons. It was so much fun, I ended up writing a three thousand word story for it… as you've probably already seen. XD Thank you for looking, and reading. It was a lot of fun to write.

Original picture by  Rathalos1
Jay and Cow are mine,  j-raz
Ace and Bear are  acepup