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And edited and slightly improved Prologue to a project I'm doing with friends elsewhere, Dubbed project CE. This is the start of one of the Main Characters, as well as introducing the Antagonists. Maybe I'll do more on other bits alluded to here.
Also, I finally put something up here! Go me!
Also, I finally put something up here! Go me!
Category Story / Human
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 16.6 kB
Listed in Folders
**Warning: potential spoiler(s) below.**
I read your story. I honestly like the content! Rrrrrr, all the lab setting and stuff, and the "super-secret" corporate project stuff. Hoorah!
Did you ever watch Street Sharks? I bet you were...inspired by that. To be completely blunt, those sharks were real sexeh. ;o I was actually inclined to write something that dealt with those sorta anthro sharks (but not fanfiction of Street Sharks, oh no).
There are some suggestions I want to give to your story. I've PM'ed them to you for easier reading.
I think the two biggest suggested improvements to this story are omitting the overused ellipses and adjusting the "pace" of the story. But that's in my PM.
As for the story overall, I liked some of the words you've used (e.g., savant and "Homo Superior") as indicators of plot. The character names and their backgrounds were pretty nice. Keep this stuff up and you'll generate a nice amount of suspense + originality to what's usually a predictable setting (the lab creating a super monster).
I read your story. I honestly like the content! Rrrrrr, all the lab setting and stuff, and the "super-secret" corporate project stuff. Hoorah!
Did you ever watch Street Sharks? I bet you were...inspired by that. To be completely blunt, those sharks were real sexeh. ;o I was actually inclined to write something that dealt with those sorta anthro sharks (but not fanfiction of Street Sharks, oh no).
There are some suggestions I want to give to your story. I've PM'ed them to you for easier reading.
I think the two biggest suggested improvements to this story are omitting the overused ellipses and adjusting the "pace" of the story. But that's in my PM.
As for the story overall, I liked some of the words you've used (e.g., savant and "Homo Superior") as indicators of plot. The character names and their backgrounds were pretty nice. Keep this stuff up and you'll generate a nice amount of suspense + originality to what's usually a predictable setting (the lab creating a super monster).
"Did you ever watch Street Sharks?"
OMG I totally remember them!! Didn't they "swim" by chewing up the pavement or something? Sexeh is right... rowr.
(Man, it's been blast-from-the-past night tonight... Street Sharks, Ninja Turtles, Rainbow (the old BBC kids show with Zippy and Bungle), Battletoads and Zelda... what's next? My Pet Monster?)
OMG I totally remember them!! Didn't they "swim" by chewing up the pavement or something? Sexeh is right... rowr.
(Man, it's been blast-from-the-past night tonight... Street Sharks, Ninja Turtles, Rainbow (the old BBC kids show with Zippy and Bungle), Battletoads and Zelda... what's next? My Pet Monster?)
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