ooh...

oh nooes!
*snuggles*

My best interest is being your friend.

Maybe if you're a masochist.

Ehhh I'm not. ^^:

I can relate to that.

Oh. When others are sad, it makes me sad!

I think every artist is a bit of a narcissist at times. We have to be, we've got to have some sort of a love or addiction to what we do to keep doing it. I have piss poor self esteem but when it comes to my art, it's really the only thing I'm proud of. You should be of yours, too.

Alternatively if you feel like a narcissist you're probably not getting enough love from other people and you're just trying to compensate! You're a great person and I have a hard time believing that you're like that at all, about anything.

^ This.

I'm sorry, I saw that and... I instantly related and think you're right.

Honestly, I do art for 2 reasons. Money and attention. If I didn't upload my art to a site with comments, and I wasn't as well known, I wouldn't draw very much at all. I use it to connect with others and make myself feel important. And you're very right. I don't feel I'm getting enough love. But I think that's because there isn't enough love that could satisfy me. I didn't get much, or consistent, love as a child, and I think it's created a sort of addiction for me. My fiance is very loving. I have (and had) friends who were very willing to give me attention, but it's never enough.

I can agree with the comments thing. It's one thing to be satisfied with your work, it's another thing to know people like it too. It's addicting. And sometimes when you don't get it, it can be devastating. You have those moments of, "Maybe I'm not as good as I think I am. Maybe my art actually sucks, and that's why no one likes it." I hate that doubt and I hate the fact that not just as artists but as human beings we base our worth on what others think of us. That's why people are taking more pictures of themselves now than ever--it's just the same on facebook and instagram with selfies. I have soo many friends who base their self worth on their popularity on social media and it's really saddening.

Craving attention isn't your fault! Anything but. It's just a stupid side effect of the culture we live in and the people we grow up with. Don't be upset at yourself, be upset with them. And empower yourself, so that you don't do the same to others and perpetuate the problem (which by the way, I think you're doing a great job of).

You can be a bit of character sometimes, but despite knowing that, I'm still here :P

Chin up, girrrrrrrrrl.

friend :)

Aaww *sits down next to you holds you close to comfort you* :(

I don't think I've seen you be a narcissist, personally? But that's just me, I'm sure everyone has their little moments of narcissism.


Personally, I can understand the whole not having friends thing though. I pretty much have exactly 0 and I think it's better that way because I am self-loathing and quiet and some people can't handle my abrasiveness lol.

I don't seem like a narcissist on the surface, because I'm not the stereotypical exhibitionist narcissist. I'm the charmer who idolizes new people, starry eyed and loving and giving until I've won them over. Then I only call upon them when I need them. I they ever expect anything of me in return, I either help if it'll make me look or feel better, or I avoid them and push them away. I don't want to do anything unless it serves me. I get angry when people don't express gratuitous praise for me. I don't take the time to acknowledge others' birthdays or accomplishments, but I expect others to pay special attention to me.

I crave to be the center of attention. It used to be so bad that I'd lie. I'd say wildly untrue things to get a rise out of people, negative or positive. I don't seem like a narcissist because I give so much love and attention, but it's shallow and self serving. If I butter someone up, they'll be nice to me..

I've either destroyed or am in the process of destroying my closest friendships. Everyone leaves me in the end. Except for my fiance, for some reason, even though I've hurt him the most. I expect him to cook for me, and I get angry when he comes home and doesn't acknowledge the cleaning I've done while he was gone.

I'm a terrible boss. I micromanage, belittle, and am power hungry. I will find the smallest thing to fight about and will find any reason to terminate a relationship. I could go on and on about the things that are bad about me. I try to present myself as this loving, giving, friendly person, but it's only because I want people to like me. I'm bitter and selfish and I'm tired of repeating the same cycle, over and over and over. Meet someone new. Idolize them. Treat them like royalty. Receive love in return. Friendship develops. Person expects reliability, trust, affection, commitment. Sever ties. Break hearts. Feel terrible. Left alone once again.

But you seem to be AWARE of how damaging your behavior is (to others and yourself), so the potential is there for you to actually be able to fix and work on yourself so you can be a better person, in your eyes.


Most people go their lives blissfully unaware and continue the cycle, constantly and consistently destroying everything around them because they don't see anything wrong with themselves or their actions.


I'm probably quite different, I have issues trusting people enough to establish more than a base relationship, and when I actually have friends, they seem to take advantage of my kindness and turn against me when I stand up for myself or can't keep up a high standard of commitment to them.

Yes, being aware is definitely the first step to getting better. But it's a very long road. I fall back into the same pattern. Each time, I'm a little more aware of my actions and motives, but I can't just switch it off. I know it's me, not them, but knowing isn't even half the battle here. I guess you get better with practice. I no longer say outrageous things to get attention. I no longer wildly insult people and stir up conflict. I no longer retaliate when hurt. I've gone from ultra mega bitch to just "man, she's kind of a bitch", so that's something.

I think a lot of people have said or done some incredibly stupid and outlandish things when younger that they regret and wish they could take back (obviously time can't be reversed, but sometimes it'd be nice if it could).

The fact that you can see the change in yourself means that others will be able to too.

Well you have earned your credit the change isn't easy
Continue your journey of self improvement
And your experience will be valuable to other with the same condition :D
I' m rooting for you ^^

Im totally with you on this as well hey we may not really talk at all but i consider everyone to be a friend wheather i know them or not. thats how you start. i honestly dont know what its like to have a life like yours and i dont know if its right for me to say i have pity or not so i wont say much but people are who they are for a reason and being able to change that for the better is a really hard thing to do even if its what you want. i wish you the best of luck and highest of hopes in this and really do feel that it is worth being a friend toward you regardless of if that is returned

I apologize because this really is not my place to say anything, especially because I'm some rando but

Have you seen a therapist about this? The things you're describing sound awfully a lot like a personality disorder (Despite what that sounds, it's not actually a disorder of the -personality- more so a disorder in how we interact with other people). I only bring this to your attention because I'm diagnosed with a Cluster B personality disorder (BPD) and I know it's extremely hard to interact with others. And without help and understanding of what's going on with yourself- it could lead to an even worse mind state.

I apologize if this is entirely out of place of me to mention, and I also apologize if you already may know what's going on with you. I just encourage seeing a professional if you haven't, because there's nothing wrong with you for exhibiting these symptoms. You're not a bad person. I've (silently) followed your art for years and you've never done anything that would make me feel that you deserve to trash on yourself like this.

Either way I hope you feel better. I hope you find a way to break this vicious cycle! Good luck!

I'll be a buddy :3

Not an emotionally clingy, trying to make sure you're feeling better kinda buddy xP

Probably just a more derpy durr being silly making dumb jokes and saying Hai from time to time kinda friend. :3

Should be enoughs, probably's :3

*Hugs you*

*big hug*

I think your a great person. I've only talked to you through comments and shout, but I like you and would love to be your friend ^-^
*hugs you*

That's the hook! Swim the other way. :x

never! *holds on tight* hehe

Yeah it's rough inviting myself over to your house every so often

no sad tee, I'm here!

I like our friendship. I feel like we're full on friends, but I don't feel like I'm under any sort of obligation or commitment to you. We've never even really talked about it. If you've ever wondered, I consider you a friend. Just be careful. Let's keep this friendship the way it is.

That's the best kind of friendship, one with no pressure on... anything.

D: but my super bff tees that I got use to wear

As someone who really only cares about my own interests (with the exception of VERY few people), I can completely relate to this. It's usually better I'm left alone to my own devices.

Here's hoping you find enough love to fill you up someday! *cheers*

I could probably start with 20 more cats.

That would certainly be quite a thing. XD

*hugs you*

*touch*

-shrugs- i give no shits. i am a tad as well. i'm also someone who is pretty much impossible to offend.....try me. once you've met me and i like you. i'm not leaving.

Yesssss love yo self its good for you! ♡

I haven't had any problems with being your friend so far, I don't imagine there will be any problems in the future either. :'3

Except for the whole thing with me avoiding you lately. :s

*shrug* you have your reasons, I'm sure.

I don't know you well, but just wanted to say this:

If you truly believe you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and that it is negatively affecting the quality of your relationships, seek a therapist.

It is rare for an NPD-narcissist to gain such self-awareness, so that in itself is a good sign. It's also possible that you don't have true NPD, and are only taking on NPD-behaviors and coping-strategies due to narcissistic abuse from your family or past relationships. As the somewhat-furry-unfriendly saying goes, "if you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas". Therapy would be very helpful identifying these "fleas" and coming up with better coping strategies.

I wish you the best.

As the gentlefur above me mentioned, seek a therapist. If you can see where your problem is, but creating an effective solution takes you too long, find a professional that can help you with your development. It will help you on your road to happiness much more than any comment here on FA that you'll get.

without knowing anything or whatever the hell, i'd say to stop being dumb lady.... okay well... i read a little bit....

i don't really think your.. eh... asperation? are too different from others? i mean, who wouldn't want to draw art and get paid and be well knoiw for it?
hope whatever has you down goes away though. i know that you can kind of want to tear yourself apart when you're not %100. i think the worst is when you're not sos ad you cry but not happy enough to be okay.

9999/10000 times one becomes friends because of other reasons than a possible benefit. Other than that i'd rather keep silent than risk saying something stupid about something i don't know much about.

*nuuuuuuuuu huggles* ;-;

what's wrong Terrah?

The real friends are the ones who stick with you through thick and thin. I do hope that you have some of those...

I'd love to, but I gotta get money first.

Why you have to make me so curious?
About the art at least, if not other things.

What exactly are you curious about, relating to the art?

Convo continued in email XD.

Well looking at the broader scope of things the fact of the matter that you have a fiance and friends who still stick around you accounts for something. Obviously we cannot be friends with everyone nor everyone wishing to be friends with us. Takes a certain kind of someone to be friends with other certain someones if that makes sense.

Sometimes it's not in someone's best interest to be friends with another person they happen to know or meet or admire, but the outcome of giving it a chance might turn out well.

Hard to tell really since not everyone is exactly who they appear on the outside or through idle observation. From what I've seen of your comments with others you're making your own progress, which is good if that's how you see it, and nothing is perfect of course so perhaps it's a little bit unfair to gauge what is 'acceptable' or not.

well i'm good at keeping friends that aren't in my best interest. if you need a friend let me know.

*hugs tight*

While some are worse than others we're all narcissistic to some degree, which is why capitalism exists and practical communism is a pipe dream. In fact it's pretty much why government exists at all, I believe Madison's quote applies here. If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

The fact that you're even aware of your narcissism means you aren't as lost as you think you are. Most people don't even bother to even contemplate personal fault or spend much time at all on self-reflection. The average human would rather make excuses and procrastinate then admit mistakes.


It is ironic that in your moment of weakness you are stronger than most, however the real question is what you choose to do from that moment forward.




Sorry for being a month late to offer support

I feel the same way a lot of the times.

I've noticed that many of the ones posting "snuggles," or "oh, noes, etc." have completely and willfully missed the point. What part of narcissist and stay away do you not understand? You "people" have absolutely NO IDEA the kind of damage a narcissist can do. None. Idiots.
Of course, i will give kudos to Ajna for acknowledging her narcissism. Very, very few will do that.