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*WARNING. ALL CHARACTERS, SITUATIONS, AND EVENTS ARE ALREADY LEGALLY COPYWRITTEN BY THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS UNDER MY NAME. DO NOT DARE REDISTRIBUTE, REUSE, OR LINK MY WORK TO ANY OTHER SITE*
This is the prologue of my book the Mercenary Chronicles: Vengeance. It is the first book of a trilogy following the path of a young man named Galuaf Winchester who, in hiring one of the most feared Mercenaries to ever live, has inadvertently changed not only his life, but the lives of all those around him.
This is the ONLY part of my book I will post for now. (The emotional one is no longer valid since I deleted it anyways). This is my favorite opening out of all the re-writes. It is the Mercenary and informant Jersey approaching Galuaf in order to see what it is the young man truly wants.
I hope you all enjoy.
This is the prologue of my book the Mercenary Chronicles: Vengeance. It is the first book of a trilogy following the path of a young man named Galuaf Winchester who, in hiring one of the most feared Mercenaries to ever live, has inadvertently changed not only his life, but the lives of all those around him.
This is the ONLY part of my book I will post for now. (The emotional one is no longer valid since I deleted it anyways). This is my favorite opening out of all the re-writes. It is the Mercenary and informant Jersey approaching Galuaf in order to see what it is the young man truly wants.
I hope you all enjoy.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 6.9 kB
...Wow. That's about the only word I can conjure up as I read through this. I like the mood that is set within this prologue, but felt like it missed something personal which I noticed in the third paragraph and the 33rd sentence. I felt it would have been a lot better if told by the character himself, instead of having you, the narrator, say it. It would show how the person thinks and acts with the world around him better; it is how I think.
That is it really. The rest of this prologue is pretty damn interesting.
That is it really. The rest of this prologue is pretty damn interesting.
Ah but that is the beauty of what I am building up too. The first chapter explains what has gone on with the young man and why he looks so bad. I like keeping some things a secret until the time to be unveiled arises. *murrs* But thank you so much for the compliment. Means so much to me. I've been working so hard on this book and it really means a ton that you enjoyed it :D
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