As someone who suffers from clinical depression, I understand these feelings very well. I live with them every day too...I know giving up sounds like the best option when you feel this way, but please dont do it. Your demons may be telling you otherwise, but you are valuable, you are not alone, and you are stronger than you may think.

Please dont let this sickness claim another victim...

There is help for you if you only reach out and ask for it.

You are precious and this world needs you in it.

Please note me if you need someone...I know im just a total stranger, but I'm a total stranger who is fighting a similar battle.

Oooh no :/ i know this kind of feelings, but you don't have to succumb to all of this tings, there is more beautiful things and precisous peoples in this world and you're one of this, sorry if i'm bad to write in their moments, but if you need i'm here, i can help you and i want to help you :) as other help me before.

I'm always here to talk if it is needed, what you are describing is how I myself feel all the time.. I'm always here to lend you a helping paw if needed ^^.

N, please don't feel so down. I know that the world may seem to be against you, but it happens to be against anyone in truth. I had times where it seems like my life meant nothing to me or the world and that death was a possible option for me.....but I soon realize........I was wrong. Death may come, but don't let it get to you. You are more capable than you realize. I know that you are a great artist. I know that you can do many great things in the future of your life, don't just throw it all away. Your life, and everyone else's life is worth saving. No one deserves to die

Please.....keep living on. I don't want to lose my best friend.

You're never truly alone. Stay strong, we're here for you.

I send you bat hugs, lots of them!
Been through this before, and know how much it sucks. If you need someone, shoot me a note.

You say you cannot draw anything on your own anymore, but you drew this. Admittedly it isn't what you want to be drawing, but you can draw its just finding the right inspiration and drive to pull through with it. To avoid the worry that it won't meet expectation or that you put yourself down. You have this obvious amazing capabilities, its just finding a place where you can comfortably build on what you want to draw, where you can finally give yourself the time to create and develop these ideas. Suicide has always been a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You have SO many years to do as you please and live in life without this feeling weighing on you. There are always those who you can talk to and my advice is to seek out help in the real world. While there are thousands here who would help you daily, its better to get the care that could help a lifetime. Regardless, me and I'm sure most of the people who commented; are here for you.

I believe you have a spiritual problem, not a mental one. I've been here myself before. It used to be a lot worse for me.

It helps to understand what is going on in the spiritual.

I know some times it can be so bad you don't even care.

Watch this. It is a short video with a deliverer and minister I have talked to personally and has delivered me personally.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt3Bm6FEenw

This is a longer video. There is much wisdom in what he says.

Some times we have to force ourselves to not want what we want.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=47Aqt6EmTuQ

I believe that spirituality has played a big part in how I'm feeling, yes.
It's extremely rare for anyone at all to mention God on the internet anymore, let alone positively, so thank you for this.

*hugs you tight!*

Do not worry.

You are going to be okay. I promise.

I'm not too sure what to say that hasn't already been said but you're not alone in this and I understand some of the feelings you're dealing with. Stay strong, you can do this

You'll be okay! Life is hard sometimes but you just have to stay strong and keep on going. We're here to support you n.n

*hugs you* I've been feeling the same about my drawings lately, but you shouldn't give up on everything. If it helps, you and can talk. I'll support you. Your a talented artist and your probably in a bad spot right now, but I have faith you can get back in an awesome spot. Please dont give up. : )

you are loved and cared for
i know things may seem down right now but let me tell you things will look so far up
you will sit in a retirement home and think to yourself;
thank god i fucking made it.
N you got this in the bag. i know it doesnt seem like it, but youre tough as fuckin nails.
you are loved and cared for.
and if no one has said that to you in a while, im making it a point to you right now that i love and care for you.
it can be a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, a bad year. but it is not a bad life.
happiness is hard to grasp when we're all young. im not dismissing your feelings at all when i say that, your feelings are valid and real

but just know that youre one day going to wake up and be so damn proud and happy with yourself. you just gotta hold on for that one moment of clarity.
so please, dont end your life.
dont give up just yet.
dont stick around for me, for sparx, for family.
stick around for you, N.

this is coming from personal experience. ive been hospitalized recently for suicidal thoughts over my physical appearance not matching with my gender identity.
it gets sooo much fucking better. im starting testosterone soon.
everything gets better. if i ended my life back when i was 10-12 (when you knew me), i wouldnt see myself evolve into Alex and have a happy, loving girl by my side.

its okay to feel like utter fucking TRASH, it truly is N. but you cannot give up on the world because of your head.
also; it is okay to not have hope for your future.

no one knows what theyre going to do with their lives, even when theyre in the process and even when the process is over.

i have an old grandfather who tells me a lot that he had no idea what the hell he was doing but now he's living comfortably with the person of his dreams.

you will be okay. you have a loving and supporting fanbase, a loving and supporting family, SUPER LOVING AND SUPPORTING FRIENDS, and i swear to god you will find a super loving and supporting future.

just hold on. for at least another few years. because then you can look back on this and say to yourself with a laugh,
"oh my fucking god i made it."

just hold on for that moment, N.

gosh this really made me smile, like for real.
I can't even begin to thank you, Alex. you're p gosh darn good at positive words.
I know you've been through hell yourself. here's to us, that we'll both make it.

I realize this wasn't directed at me, but I want to say thank you as well for taking the time to type this post; this has alot of meaning to my life as well and brought tears to my eyes.