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Thursday Prompt response for 11/6/08
Council – A Thursday Prompt response
by pyrostinger
The water they splashed on him did it's job well. The mouse woke up sputtering, coughing, shaking his head, but he was awake. Coughing a few more times, he struggled to clear his body from the intrusive water... it had gone up his nose. He hated it when it went up his nose. There was almost nothing more vile than water going up his nose... He shook himself a few more times, ears swinging about as he gradually ascertained his surroundings.
It was hard, because he was blinded by an extremely harsh light shining from directly above him. He couldn't see anybody out there... and he knew there had to be somebody else in this room. Or at least there was. No other reason why he was dripping there wet. Somebody, also, had to have tied him down. He struggled a bit, but he found that the bindings were quite tight, leaving him not much of any room to move around.
“Number 893754, Mr. Gerald Watt,” came a monotone from out of nowhere. The mouse looked up, his ears perked. That was his name. But the number part was strange to him. How...?
More lights came on, showing a panel of five in a semicircle around him. He realized with growing dismay, that they were predators... and he was completely at their mercy. He squirmed, and tried once again to free himself.
“I see that your instincts still work,” said the wolf, glancing at him. He was positioned front and center. He shuffled some papers, then looked at the mouse, folding his paws together. “Mr. Watt. So good of you to join us.”
“What am I joining you for? Where am I?” the mouse squeaked, instantly hating himself for it.
“If all goes well, then you'll be joining us for dinner,” said the wolf, grinning. The statement was met with various snickers from the others. “As for where you are, I don't think you need to concern yourself with that. Now then, Ms. Bailey,” he continued, turning to one of the others, a dun-colored cat, “you wouldn't happen to have file of Mr. Watt here, would you?”
“Indeed I do,” replied the cougar, passing across papers to the others assembled. They each studied the paper as Ms. Bailey read it aloud. “Mr. Watt was brought here after an attempted suicide. No one came to claim him after the designated 48-hour period, and he was released to our custody.” The suicide attempt... oh, gods, thought the mouse. He gulped, waves of guilt washing over him. How could I have been so STUPID...
“Another suicide, is it...?” remarked another of the five, a komodo dragon.
“Yes. There seem to be a string of them lately,” the wolf said again. He leaned forward, glaring down at the mouse. “So. Mr. Watt. What have you to say for yourself?”
At first, Gerald was silent. He remembered now... interspersing so may sleeping pills with alcohol. He just wanted to rest... to rest and never wake up. There had been too much going on, too much stress, too much heart ache, too much pain. So much pain... “I guess you guys are having mouse for dinner,” he said in a flat voice, staring at his chest.
“Perhaps,” came a voice from the direction of the komodo dragon. “It is honestly not one of my favored delicacies... More a treat for our cat over there.”
“Oh, I do love mice,” Ms. Bailey spoke up again. “This one will fill me up quite nicely, so I'll gladly take your share Mr. Tanu.”
“Not quite yet. We still, after all, need Mr. Watt to explain himself.” The mouse looked up at the wolf, frowning. “Yes, Mr. Watt. We're going to toy with you before we eat you.”
“...why?”
“Because, Mr. Watt,” said another voice. The mouse looked to see a fox, leaning on one paw with a bored expression on his face. “Because we are predators, and you are prey. Because we can. And because, if you haven't noticed, you are here, alive, entirely on our whim.” He made a flourish with a paw. “So entertain us, Mr. Watt.”
This was sport, the mouse realized, a cold pit forming in his stomach. “...no...” he said softly, looking down again.
“No?” asked the wolf. “Why not? We're only going to finish what you yourself started. Indulge us, Watt.”
“...No.” Gerald said in a stronger voice. He started to shake his head. “I don't want to die... I'm not ready.”
“You certainly seemed ready enough, lying on the floor with pills scattered around you,” said another voice, accented with a sibilant hiss. The mouse looked up again, realizing that the fifth member was a snake, her hands clasped in front of her, hissing silently.
Still, he was resolute. “I'm not ready to die yet... I don't want to die. My family...”
“Who you were going to abandon,” the snake noted.
“I didn't mean...”
“But you were going to. Face facts.”
“I love them...”
“And you were going to leave them,” the wolf stated plainly. “Why?”
“It's not them! It's me... I'm such a failure... I can't do anything right.” Gerald's eyes quickly lost the fire they were starting to develop as his head slumped forward again.
“Not even kill yourself.” Bailey chuckled, shaking her head. “So when do we eat?”
“But... I don't... want to die.”
Those words hung in the air for a moment, as plaintive and pathetic as they sounded. Gerald looked up at each of the pitiless faces as they looked at each other. Finally the wolf leaned back in his seat, staring down his nose at the mouse. “So which is it, Mr. Watt? Do you want to live or do you want to die?”
“I wanna--” Gerald suddenly stopped, looking down at the floor and frowning. “I want... what have I done...?”
“You nearly killed yourself,” replied the snake.
“You had to have your stomach pumped from all the sedatives you took,” chimed in the fox.
“You almost made yourself well and truly alone,” said the komodo dragon
“You put the concerns of yourself over any others,” the cougar continued.
“You haven't answered the question,” the wolf stated, still staring levelly at Gerald. “Are you going to staying for dinner?”
The mouse blinked at the five cold predators, realizing that they didn't care about him. Then he looked straight at the wolf.
“No.”
A flicker passed across the wolf's face. “Pity. Get him out of here,” he said to somebody else, and all the lights went off. Gerald found himself being shaken, hauled over, and then a door opened, and there was light... so much light...
When Gerald would open his eyes again, he was staring at a ceiling. He could dimly hear sobbing. He closed his eyes against the harsh fluorescent light and groaned, shifting. The sobbing stopped, and he could hear a voice. “Gerry...?”
The mouse was hugged with a sudden fierceness, arms tightening around his body. He looked down and saw his sister. “Martha... what are you doing here? Why are you crying...?”
Martha looked up at him, and shook her head. “Don't... don't worry about it. I'll call the doctor... you just sit right there, okay? Gods, Gerry... don't scare me like that!” He got another fierce hug, then saw his sister run out of the hospital room. He felt weak... but he was still alive.
Alive, he could still fix things. It wasn't over... not yet.
Not yet.
Council – A Thursday Prompt response
by pyrostinger
The water they splashed on him did it's job well. The mouse woke up sputtering, coughing, shaking his head, but he was awake. Coughing a few more times, he struggled to clear his body from the intrusive water... it had gone up his nose. He hated it when it went up his nose. There was almost nothing more vile than water going up his nose... He shook himself a few more times, ears swinging about as he gradually ascertained his surroundings.
It was hard, because he was blinded by an extremely harsh light shining from directly above him. He couldn't see anybody out there... and he knew there had to be somebody else in this room. Or at least there was. No other reason why he was dripping there wet. Somebody, also, had to have tied him down. He struggled a bit, but he found that the bindings were quite tight, leaving him not much of any room to move around.
“Number 893754, Mr. Gerald Watt,” came a monotone from out of nowhere. The mouse looked up, his ears perked. That was his name. But the number part was strange to him. How...?
More lights came on, showing a panel of five in a semicircle around him. He realized with growing dismay, that they were predators... and he was completely at their mercy. He squirmed, and tried once again to free himself.
“I see that your instincts still work,” said the wolf, glancing at him. He was positioned front and center. He shuffled some papers, then looked at the mouse, folding his paws together. “Mr. Watt. So good of you to join us.”
“What am I joining you for? Where am I?” the mouse squeaked, instantly hating himself for it.
“If all goes well, then you'll be joining us for dinner,” said the wolf, grinning. The statement was met with various snickers from the others. “As for where you are, I don't think you need to concern yourself with that. Now then, Ms. Bailey,” he continued, turning to one of the others, a dun-colored cat, “you wouldn't happen to have file of Mr. Watt here, would you?”
“Indeed I do,” replied the cougar, passing across papers to the others assembled. They each studied the paper as Ms. Bailey read it aloud. “Mr. Watt was brought here after an attempted suicide. No one came to claim him after the designated 48-hour period, and he was released to our custody.” The suicide attempt... oh, gods, thought the mouse. He gulped, waves of guilt washing over him. How could I have been so STUPID...
“Another suicide, is it...?” remarked another of the five, a komodo dragon.
“Yes. There seem to be a string of them lately,” the wolf said again. He leaned forward, glaring down at the mouse. “So. Mr. Watt. What have you to say for yourself?”
At first, Gerald was silent. He remembered now... interspersing so may sleeping pills with alcohol. He just wanted to rest... to rest and never wake up. There had been too much going on, too much stress, too much heart ache, too much pain. So much pain... “I guess you guys are having mouse for dinner,” he said in a flat voice, staring at his chest.
“Perhaps,” came a voice from the direction of the komodo dragon. “It is honestly not one of my favored delicacies... More a treat for our cat over there.”
“Oh, I do love mice,” Ms. Bailey spoke up again. “This one will fill me up quite nicely, so I'll gladly take your share Mr. Tanu.”
“Not quite yet. We still, after all, need Mr. Watt to explain himself.” The mouse looked up at the wolf, frowning. “Yes, Mr. Watt. We're going to toy with you before we eat you.”
“...why?”
“Because, Mr. Watt,” said another voice. The mouse looked to see a fox, leaning on one paw with a bored expression on his face. “Because we are predators, and you are prey. Because we can. And because, if you haven't noticed, you are here, alive, entirely on our whim.” He made a flourish with a paw. “So entertain us, Mr. Watt.”
This was sport, the mouse realized, a cold pit forming in his stomach. “...no...” he said softly, looking down again.
“No?” asked the wolf. “Why not? We're only going to finish what you yourself started. Indulge us, Watt.”
“...No.” Gerald said in a stronger voice. He started to shake his head. “I don't want to die... I'm not ready.”
“You certainly seemed ready enough, lying on the floor with pills scattered around you,” said another voice, accented with a sibilant hiss. The mouse looked up again, realizing that the fifth member was a snake, her hands clasped in front of her, hissing silently.
Still, he was resolute. “I'm not ready to die yet... I don't want to die. My family...”
“Who you were going to abandon,” the snake noted.
“I didn't mean...”
“But you were going to. Face facts.”
“I love them...”
“And you were going to leave them,” the wolf stated plainly. “Why?”
“It's not them! It's me... I'm such a failure... I can't do anything right.” Gerald's eyes quickly lost the fire they were starting to develop as his head slumped forward again.
“Not even kill yourself.” Bailey chuckled, shaking her head. “So when do we eat?”
“But... I don't... want to die.”
Those words hung in the air for a moment, as plaintive and pathetic as they sounded. Gerald looked up at each of the pitiless faces as they looked at each other. Finally the wolf leaned back in his seat, staring down his nose at the mouse. “So which is it, Mr. Watt? Do you want to live or do you want to die?”
“I wanna--” Gerald suddenly stopped, looking down at the floor and frowning. “I want... what have I done...?”
“You nearly killed yourself,” replied the snake.
“You had to have your stomach pumped from all the sedatives you took,” chimed in the fox.
“You almost made yourself well and truly alone,” said the komodo dragon
“You put the concerns of yourself over any others,” the cougar continued.
“You haven't answered the question,” the wolf stated, still staring levelly at Gerald. “Are you going to staying for dinner?”
The mouse blinked at the five cold predators, realizing that they didn't care about him. Then he looked straight at the wolf.
“No.”
A flicker passed across the wolf's face. “Pity. Get him out of here,” he said to somebody else, and all the lights went off. Gerald found himself being shaken, hauled over, and then a door opened, and there was light... so much light...
When Gerald would open his eyes again, he was staring at a ceiling. He could dimly hear sobbing. He closed his eyes against the harsh fluorescent light and groaned, shifting. The sobbing stopped, and he could hear a voice. “Gerry...?”
The mouse was hugged with a sudden fierceness, arms tightening around his body. He looked down and saw his sister. “Martha... what are you doing here? Why are you crying...?”
Martha looked up at him, and shook her head. “Don't... don't worry about it. I'll call the doctor... you just sit right there, okay? Gods, Gerry... don't scare me like that!” He got another fierce hug, then saw his sister run out of the hospital room. He felt weak... but he was still alive.
Alive, he could still fix things. It wasn't over... not yet.
Not yet.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 116px
File Size 26.7 kB
Listed in Folders
Interesting. Cruel. Not quite sure what was happening there, but still I found the story rather entertaining and interesting. You are able to paint the lifestory of the mouse in so few words, of course most of this is hidden, but as his life and family are touched in the conversation one after another, the reader gets a certain picture what could possibly be wrong in the mouse's life, thus making him to make the decision to take his own life. Very interesting, great little tale, I enjoyed reading this.
Good read. I really digged the setting and the general plot of the story but I felt I needed a little more insight to motive. Issue I'm finding is the quick interrogation where the family motive shows up, the interrogation I felt would be the perfect opportunity to push some emphasis on why he makes the decision the way he does. Not to mention the line where he calls himself a failure sort of cuts to the resolve of the character either to fix things or express his new found confidence to choose his final answer. I thought the panel idea was a nice set up.
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