> EXAMINE POSTER
> PEEL POSTER

Boy, the rail system sure has a bunch of funny do's and don'ts, don't they? Er, do they? Uh. Anyway, the poster shows a big foot about to step on a perfectly good pocket watch and reads in big red letters, "DON'T STEP ON YOUR WATCH". It's also not holding onto the train wall very well. Heck, you could just reach out and -- Whoops! It came off in your hands! Is that vandalism? Better hide the evidence! Fortunately, despite only having two small pants pockets, you manage to hide the large poster on your person.

> LOOK IN GYM BAG
> TAKE GYM BAG

Jose's red gym bag sits by itself on the floor. Picking it up, you set it on a seat to get a better look at the contents inside, because posture is important! Jose must have really been in a hurry, because there's some important stuff (at least to Jose) inside! For one thing, there's his EL TORO COSTUME, perfect for looking macho, wrestling, and disguising your identity! Though really, it's not like that was a big secret to anyone. There's also a STINKY GYM TOWEL, which nearly makes you gag from the thick scent of sweat still clinging to it. Ew, and it's still kind of moist! Finally, there's a HAND MIRROR, its shiny surface perfect admiring your reflection, as Jose would do on a constant basis. Looking into it yourself, you're not all that impressed by what you see. Putting everything back, you decide to take the gym bag with you. Jose will want it back after all, and hey, now you've got an inventory within your inventory! That's what we like to call INVENCEPTION.

> CALL FOR JOSE

You call out for your bovine companion, but he really is nowhere to be seen. And considering how bad his beefy frame is at playing hide and seek, you'd know if he was around. You'll have to look somewhere else!

> ASSUME FETAL POSITION

You curl up on the floor, hugging the gym bag that reminds you of Jose. You try not to cry. You cry a lot. Your sad raccoon tears mix with the dirt on the train floor to form a grimy puddle of salty melancholy and wet hopelessness. Nothing will make you feel better. Nothing.

> DO THE HOKEY POKEY

No, not even dancing.

> DO A BARREL ROLL

You're already rolling around on a dirty subway floor and your own self pity.

> QUICKLY RETRIEVE ARMS FROM SAFE

What? You... you already have arms. Two of them. Why would you want more? What would you -do- with extra arms? And what safe? Are you sure you're not confusing this adventure with another one?

> LICK CAN

What? No, gross. Who knows where that can's been? You're not about to taste it.

> EAT NEWSPAPER

Are you serious? Look, you can't just mash any two words together and hope that --

> PICK UP DOOR

Well now you're just being silly. In fact, the silliness of the last few ideas lifts you out of your salty-wet melancholy tear-puddle of sadness and back to your feet. Enough blubbering! You have a bull to find!

> LOOK AT SUBWAY STATION SIGN

See, that's a much more reasonable request. Unfortunately, you can't really make that out from here. It'd probably be easier if you actually stepped outside the train car.

> PICK UP CAN
> PUT SODA CAN IN BAG

But first, you apparently feel the need to start tidying up the place by picking up every piece of garbage that isn't nailed down! The aluminum soda can is not only empty save for a few sticky drops of beverage clinging to the bottom, but it's been crushed in such a way that's it's completely useless for carrying any sort of liquid ever again. Nonetheless, into the gym bag it goes!

> LOOK AT MYSTERIOUSLY RUSTLING NEWSPAPER

The nearby newspaper has lots of WORDS on it, as newspapers tend to have. It's also been left in a papery heap on the floor, probably when someone realized you couldn't access the internet with it. Said papery heap is also rustling around as if something were scampering around inside it, so it's probably not a good idea to --

> TAKE NEWSPAPER

Okay, nevermind. You take the newspaper and stuff it into your bag, causing a fat grey rat to tumble out onto the floor. He does not look happy.

"Hey! Hey you!" The rat glares up at you, hands on his little rodent hips. "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, ya big furry crybaby! What's the big idea, swipin' my newspaper? I was usin' that!"

Using it for what, you ask, ignoring the fact that you are being scolded by a small talking rat. Then again, you're a big talking raccoon, so... "Whatcha think, ya scythe-locked dummy? I was gonna build a nest with it! Plus, it's got a lot of words in it that could be useful in certain situations, but only to a discerning eye like yours truly. I'd be surprised if the walnut-sized brain in that over-sized noggin of yours even knows how to read!"

> READ DOOR GRAFFITI

Just to prove the disgruntled rodent wrong, you happily read the graffiti on the door. Someone has used red spray paint to write the words 'Brock Wuz Here'. Brock wuz also apparently bad at spelling.

"Okay, so you can read, big deal!" grumps the rat. "You expecting a gold star or something? Fat chance! That doesn't change the fact that your grubby paws took -my- potential nest, so the way I see it, where that paper goes, I go! Besides, you look new around here without me you'd probably get lost and start crying again. So whatcha think about that, Mr, Mopey Mask-Face?"

INVENTORY:
- WARNING POSTER
- GYM BAG

GYM BAG INVENTORY:
- EL TORO COSTUME
- STINKY GYM TOWEL
- HAND MIRROR
- ALUMINUM CAN
- OLD NEWSPAPER

RULES AND FIRST PAGE

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