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![[P] Salvaged](http://d.furaffinity.net/art/myemetophobia/1438629020/1438629020.myemetophobia_depression.png "Click to change the View")
[P] Salvaged
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Bits and pieces piled together
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Image Description
"It's all in your head", is the common thing for people to say on the matter. Although, the statement is always so true. Of course it is in my mind. Where else would a mental illness come from. My liver. I doubt it. A human brain is an organ, and like every other organ it can have it faults. Especially with how high functioning it is; I'm surprised it doesn't have more than what medicine has discovered.
Sadly, nobody treats that sentence correctly. Instead using that simple sentence to say, "get over it" or "everyone gets sad, you're not special".
I wish that were the case. I wish that it was a possibility to get rid of the sticky tar like ghouls that plague my mind. That thrash and dig their claws into my heart and brain. That twist and wriggle their way through every inch of my body, making me feel like I'm truly infected with a heavy weight. Ghouls that whisper tragic things like,
"they are lying to you, they don't love you,"
"he doesn't love you,"
"your family was right, you truly will amount to nothing,"
"everything you do is a waste of time and air, give it to someone more deserving,"
I do not see how anyone in their right mind would ever think I would want to hear these things day in and day out. To have an innumerable amount of bullies looking over my shoulder and nit picking everything that people say to me. Nit picking every action. Every glance thrown my way. Anything. Everything. Never does it go in a positive direction. Any positivity is shot down as soon as it comes. Guns pointed at any dove that flutters in my heart just for a moment.
Medication is always an option. Yet, the only way I can describe taking medication is it being a safety net. Where to those that perhaps feel like they are eternally falling might find a random net in the sky, keeping them from falling any further. It's a thin net, and sometimes it gives way before it rebuilds itself.
For me, it feels like just a strong glue to keep the pieces of my facade together. To allow me to smile and drown out the voices, even for a moment. But that does not get rid of the thick blanket of tar that rests on my body and squeezes me tight like a vice. It doesn't get rid of the night terrors. The thoughts and visions of suicide and loneliness. All it can do is brush it under the rug, so others do not have to see it.
To prevent my depression from breaking through the cracks and leaving my mental and emotional state to affecting my physical state.
But through all this, does this make me any less of a person? Does this make me some sort of bane to society that my kind must be shunned and treated as freaks? To think that we all belong in mental institutions or to have no friends and be left to rot.
Sometimes I wonder. Since it seems that all sorts of media whether its video games or television seem to point in that direction. That I should be locked up. Contained. Put into another sort of prison than the one I am already living in. A physical prison to compliment my mental one. A true completion.
To all those that suffer the same fate. Stay strong. You are not the only one. You are never alone.
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Art. Aden.MyEmetophobia
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Bits and pieces piled together
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Image Description
"It's all in your head", is the common thing for people to say on the matter. Although, the statement is always so true. Of course it is in my mind. Where else would a mental illness come from. My liver. I doubt it. A human brain is an organ, and like every other organ it can have it faults. Especially with how high functioning it is; I'm surprised it doesn't have more than what medicine has discovered.
Sadly, nobody treats that sentence correctly. Instead using that simple sentence to say, "get over it" or "everyone gets sad, you're not special".
I wish that were the case. I wish that it was a possibility to get rid of the sticky tar like ghouls that plague my mind. That thrash and dig their claws into my heart and brain. That twist and wriggle their way through every inch of my body, making me feel like I'm truly infected with a heavy weight. Ghouls that whisper tragic things like,
"they are lying to you, they don't love you,"
"he doesn't love you,"
"your family was right, you truly will amount to nothing,"
"everything you do is a waste of time and air, give it to someone more deserving,"
I do not see how anyone in their right mind would ever think I would want to hear these things day in and day out. To have an innumerable amount of bullies looking over my shoulder and nit picking everything that people say to me. Nit picking every action. Every glance thrown my way. Anything. Everything. Never does it go in a positive direction. Any positivity is shot down as soon as it comes. Guns pointed at any dove that flutters in my heart just for a moment.
Medication is always an option. Yet, the only way I can describe taking medication is it being a safety net. Where to those that perhaps feel like they are eternally falling might find a random net in the sky, keeping them from falling any further. It's a thin net, and sometimes it gives way before it rebuilds itself.
For me, it feels like just a strong glue to keep the pieces of my facade together. To allow me to smile and drown out the voices, even for a moment. But that does not get rid of the thick blanket of tar that rests on my body and squeezes me tight like a vice. It doesn't get rid of the night terrors. The thoughts and visions of suicide and loneliness. All it can do is brush it under the rug, so others do not have to see it.
To prevent my depression from breaking through the cracks and leaving my mental and emotional state to affecting my physical state.
But through all this, does this make me any less of a person? Does this make me some sort of bane to society that my kind must be shunned and treated as freaks? To think that we all belong in mental institutions or to have no friends and be left to rot.
Sometimes I wonder. Since it seems that all sorts of media whether its video games or television seem to point in that direction. That I should be locked up. Contained. Put into another sort of prison than the one I am already living in. A physical prison to compliment my mental one. A true completion.
To all those that suffer the same fate. Stay strong. You are not the only one. You are never alone.
[|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||]
Art. Aden.MyEmetophobia
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Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 833 x 1000px
File Size 597.6 kB
Listed in Folders
It's like that saying in my head that I can only hope will help describe it
"Depression is like living in a body that's fighting to live with a mind that wants to die"
Or sumthin like that
It sucks. That's a friggen understatement of the century. While I try to go medication-less with my own drowning, it doesn't make a person any less human for taking that approach
You're strong for fighting this entire time, no doubt. Everyone afflicted who keep living is, cuz that thought, that...thing inside, will always keep trying to just drag you down
Of course, being half-optimist, there's always that light to look forward to
"Depression is like living in a body that's fighting to live with a mind that wants to die"
Or sumthin like that
It sucks. That's a friggen understatement of the century. While I try to go medication-less with my own drowning, it doesn't make a person any less human for taking that approach
You're strong for fighting this entire time, no doubt. Everyone afflicted who keep living is, cuz that thought, that...thing inside, will always keep trying to just drag you down
Of course, being half-optimist, there's always that light to look forward to
Truly accurate description of depression once more, one that I can relate to.
In regards of medication, I have never tried antidepressant pills. And all I keep hearing about them from those friends of mine who do use them, say that the medication have only made things worse for them.
For me, therapy helped in the past, even though it made me feel like I was the one at blame for getting bullied when I got sent to the therapist instead of those who were actually bullying me and tormenting me in the past. Blah. It didn't get rid of the depression nor will it ever be truly gone. I might have huge streaks of joy and feeling happy, only to be pulled down into a deep dark chasm by the invisible claws of the voices that are always there, at the back of my head, nagging about how nothing that I do is good enough. So yes, all too familiar with all of this.
Anyway, if there is one thing that the therapery managed to be good at, it was that it taught me how to smile and hide all these feelings inside, to create a façade. Seems the outer shell is convincing enough if my friends are honest when they say that they could never imagine me for an introvert or a quiet person. But that is exactly what I am, no small part thanks to the depression.
In regards of medication, I have never tried antidepressant pills. And all I keep hearing about them from those friends of mine who do use them, say that the medication have only made things worse for them.
For me, therapy helped in the past, even though it made me feel like I was the one at blame for getting bullied when I got sent to the therapist instead of those who were actually bullying me and tormenting me in the past. Blah. It didn't get rid of the depression nor will it ever be truly gone. I might have huge streaks of joy and feeling happy, only to be pulled down into a deep dark chasm by the invisible claws of the voices that are always there, at the back of my head, nagging about how nothing that I do is good enough. So yes, all too familiar with all of this.
Anyway, if there is one thing that the therapery managed to be good at, it was that it taught me how to smile and hide all these feelings inside, to create a façade. Seems the outer shell is convincing enough if my friends are honest when they say that they could never imagine me for an introvert or a quiet person. But that is exactly what I am, no small part thanks to the depression.
Having worked in a pharmacy and having had to take different medications your friends are correct.
Sometimes different antidepressant medications will react differently within the body.
It's pretty much like stripping layers off an onion to figure out what works.
Start small, start simple, start broad, then work down to things that are more specific.
I used to take a drug that made it so much worse. I'd have nightmares, lucid ones. Of someone strangling me and I couldn't get out of it.
It made me curl up into bed, not eat, and I almost starved to death due to the medications and my own problems.
Now I'm taking paroxetine, and although it doesn't necessarily help with my migrianes, it at least doesn't cause the same problems.
It's all trials and tribulations.
Yes there will be drugs that wont work for you and will have awful side effects.
But there will be drugs that will blanket you and help you if given the chance to try them out.
I'd say at least consult a doctor about it. If you think you need them.
Medications cannot do more harm than good, if just given a chance.
Sometimes different antidepressant medications will react differently within the body.
It's pretty much like stripping layers off an onion to figure out what works.
Start small, start simple, start broad, then work down to things that are more specific.
I used to take a drug that made it so much worse. I'd have nightmares, lucid ones. Of someone strangling me and I couldn't get out of it.
It made me curl up into bed, not eat, and I almost starved to death due to the medications and my own problems.
Now I'm taking paroxetine, and although it doesn't necessarily help with my migrianes, it at least doesn't cause the same problems.
It's all trials and tribulations.
Yes there will be drugs that wont work for you and will have awful side effects.
But there will be drugs that will blanket you and help you if given the chance to try them out.
I'd say at least consult a doctor about it. If you think you need them.
Medications cannot do more harm than good, if just given a chance.
This didn't appear in my inbox D: wtf
This piece is beautiful hun. " Stay strong. You are not the only one. You are never alone. " is true. We are here for you, even though it may not seem like it all of the time. And we are here to listen. You are a wonderful person, and you are not alone.
This piece is beautiful hun. " Stay strong. You are not the only one. You are never alone. " is true. We are here for you, even though it may not seem like it all of the time. And we are here to listen. You are a wonderful person, and you are not alone.
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