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Lorne's first day as a full-time Rescue Team member has arrived, and the Mightyena is less concerned about making a lasting impression as he is about simply surviving in the civilized world. Recruited by Deirdre to aid in River's recovery, Lorne and his team make their way into the woods once again. Continually torn about who he is and what he should be doing, will Lorne be able to handle himself during his first mission?
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With the prologue series out of the way, here is Chapter 1 of The Travelers! This is where it began in my mind, with Lorne and the others going on their first mission, before I decided to start with a prologue series establishing the characters. The plot itself has changed drastically since I began, but I think I'm happy with how things have changed in the past three months.
I've also decided to move away from using sprites for the thumbnails, since I realized I was running out of ideas for them. I'm pretty happy with how the new format has turned out, though.
As always, feel free to leave a comment about what you liked or didn't like in the story. Here's hoping the series will turn out to be a success!
~~~
With the prologue series out of the way, here is Chapter 1 of The Travelers! This is where it began in my mind, with Lorne and the others going on their first mission, before I decided to start with a prologue series establishing the characters. The plot itself has changed drastically since I began, but I think I'm happy with how things have changed in the past three months.
I've also decided to move away from using sprites for the thumbnails, since I realized I was running out of ideas for them. I'm pretty happy with how the new format has turned out, though.
As always, feel free to leave a comment about what you liked or didn't like in the story. Here's hoping the series will turn out to be a success!
Category Story / Vore
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 66.8 kB
Listed in Folders
Wonderful first chapter of the series ^^
Deirdre is quite a badass, able to hold her own as she has all with a collected mind. What I've seen of her moveset so far reminds me of a charizard I made, what with dragon dance and fire punch (and the hint at the mega evolution before). Wouldn't be surprised to find that she was based off of the same build I used :P
Also, that ending. Dun dun DUUUUUUNNNN!
Deirdre is quite a badass, able to hold her own as she has all with a collected mind. What I've seen of her moveset so far reminds me of a charizard I made, what with dragon dance and fire punch (and the hint at the mega evolution before). Wouldn't be surprised to find that she was based off of the same build I used :P
Also, that ending. Dun dun DUUUUUUNNNN!
Really enjoyed reading this, it was cool seeing Dierdre in action. I'm looking forward to learning more about her past, seems like Lorne isn't the only one keeping secrets.
Also really enjoyed the ending, should make for some awkward conversations next time they meet. xD
Also really enjoyed the ending, should make for some awkward conversations next time they meet. xD
I actually thought Deidre might have been a badass when she mentioned "I just realised I was wasting my life." XD. I just finished reading this; that part at the end though! If I may offer some constructive criticism, I'm aware that this was a year ago, but I think you pay a bit too much attention to detail in the writing, for example, instead of saying "the Charizard" or "the Dark-type" you could use more personal pronouns like "he" or "she". And I think it is better if you add less detail and more short sentences in the actions scenes, to create tension and to keep the reader at a fast rhythm and pace. Other than that, it was really good!
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