So I'm exploring a Star Trek Federation outpost. I'm there legally, exploring as a guest, and none of the area are restricted or locked. There's nobody here, and I'm looking, but not touching. Not my star base, not my tools or toys, so eye-candy it is.

I take the elevator to the ninth level and step out, when the alarm goes off.

Whoops. Oh dear, that's not good? Alright, I'm not up to mischief, so I'll just sit tight and wait for security. Running away would be viewed rather poorly, and there's bound to be security drones or worse.

Down the elevator comes the captain and her first officer. The captain is human, eight feel tall, and with a chest that sticks out at least three feet. How she can even walk without her spine snapping in two is beyond me, but...well...some humans like that sort of thing?

We talk, I explain who I am, what I'm doing here, and how I managed to set off the alarm. I am the pinnacle of courtesy and respectfulness, and yet, time and time again, I am needlessly terrified by the summoning of heavily armed security drones.

As difficult as it is to retain my composure, I manage. More talk, more discussion, and it is discovered that I am carrying non-federation healing technology.

Well, yes, that is my job, after all? EMT? Well. They got their tails all in a kink that someone like myself had "star fleet level" technology, and were afraid I would somehow use a dermal regenerator to blow up a city. So they want to take me into custody, lock me in the brig, strip me of my clothes, and my medical equipment!

Well, I was not having any of that. I was calm, courteous and insistent that my medical equipment be scanned and examined at once. But no, they wanted to play their games and call a JAG hearing. (That's Judge Advocate General, and it's a *very* big deal.) By this time, more officers have shown up, and the captain is losing patience. Accusations of theft are one thing, but claiming that they, and they alone have the right to adjudicate the distribution of non-Federation technology, is ridiculous, and I let them know it.

Well, the captain made one diplomatic blunder too many.

She threatened me. "This soon-to-be former life-form is making me angry,"

Oh really?

Perhaps the captain forgot our initial discussions of how I am an Imperial Marine?

Threatening a Marine is not a recipe for a long and happy life.

Nevertheless, I didn't harm anyone. Well...I don't know if startling them so badly they foul their pants is considered harm, but apparently the Federation isn't..."up to date"? On the "forbidden technology" of holy magic? One Fog spell, followed by a Quickened Teleport, and I'm home safe.

That's when I get a message. A messenger drone knocks on my door and informs me that I am now, officially, a fugitive(!) and that there is a warrant for my arrest!

Well! I suppose if one is going to be a wanted felon, one should have a proper image for a wanted poster!

So here you are, Mon Capitan Andromeda StJohn? One Federation Felon, at your service.

And I made sure to get my good side.

I have been offered a position as a United Federation Systems NPC, and I have gladly accepted! I am now officially wanted for suspected theft, and there is an active warrant for my arrest. If you are Federation, and in character, then I am fair game. If you're not Federation, and a bounty hunter - real or wannabe - just keep in mind that I'm one of the few medical technicians in-world who knows what they're doing, and doesn't charge a fee. And you're in a very dangerous profession.