Great chapter, you put so much more emotion and detail in your short stories than I could ever get into mine. Loved it!

Thanks for that, but don't be thinking you don't get in as much detail. You got plenty there.
As for emotion, well that is getting easier for me but I still seem to find it easier for the darker emotions of sadness and pain rather than the lighter emotions of happiness and joy.

Also, I hope I portrayed Tiladon and Jessica properly. This is the way I see them and felt how they would react in such situations.

And I am stoked you enjoyed this chapter. Hopefully the next is the last and all secrets will be finally revealed. After all, since Strike has had hir memories returned, shi has a big secret to tell.

Here Here!

Great chapter. This shows how much you have incorporated how much you've learned from everyone over the years. The characters have grown in good bounds and I can only agree that they shine in the emotion and your new detail description.

"Have you ever had major surgery? If you haven't then I cannot adequately tell you how it feels to wake up from it. For those who have, I can sympathise. I've had it, well, before my change."

Up above is a call out to audience. Its a wabbley thing to use. I think in this case it is alright, but it causes a discontent between author, text, and audience. Keeping the story within the story is usually a safer road to keep. Its a weird thing for a character to say/think and thus plays screwing with flow and the rhetorical relationship. Still, it makes the audience think even if it steps into Second Person. Its usually something to be avoided and developing ways to tap into and develop strategies for that reflective awe for the audience without taking that second person dip is something to think and work on.


On endings: Remember, you are in control of a work, but endings are the most important part of a story, they are what an audience connects with. Many an author road maps their endings way ahead of times. Often after planning stages Authors will develop and write ending drafts before a lot of their stories. The endings though are open to change, it at least helps reinforce a stories purpose. Just something to think about as you write future stories. There is a blessing in driving and having nowhere where your going and what you can find, but if the audience ends up nowhere... that's ouch.

Great work and keep a flowing!

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for the tips too.

I wanted the call out to break up the flow of the story some. After two chapters of internal action, I wanted to bring out what was happening without having Strike actually be going through it as part of the flow in the body of the story.

Personally I thought the ending was fine, but you gave a valid point I had never considered. I'll keep that in mind for my next writings.
Your feedback has always been a great assistance. Thanks.

Yeah, the ending is fine, there is no problem with it, its great, just something to keep in mind so you don't corner yourself and your audience.

Its all good stuff.