I've caved in and I hate it.
So what if I'm selfish like a child,
I want you back.
I want you back.
I want you back.

Today I woke up
In a cold sweat with an empty place in my chest
Where your heart used to beat
When you'd hold me and tell me you loved me and would never stop,
Even if I did. Even if I did.

Well, my head says it's okay, it's time to accept,
But my heart won't let me. It's holding its breath,
Waiting to breathe out, so you could breathe it in.
Let this air into your lungs and make your heart beat again,

But you won't wake up.
So, I'll hold my breath until you do.
I'll count to forever and hope to God I see you.
Haunt me. It's hard to breathe without you.
Just please don't, please don't leave me without you.
No, please God, please don't
Please God, please don't leave.

I won't try to pretend like I'm okay now that you're gone.
You were always the one that I would go to,
To talk about how I could never deal with pain.
So what am I supposed to say to save myself
When I'm dying alone? I've got nothing again.

But you won't wake up.
So, I'll hold my breath until you do.
I'll count to forever and hope to God I see you.
Haunt me. It's hard to breathe without you.
Just please don't, please don't leave me without you.
No, please God, please don't
No, please God, please don't leave.

Here I am,
Choked up and broken with shaking hands.
I hate to think of you, but I always do.
I can't be alone,
'cause it's the only time that I can just let go,
And I'm just not strong enough.

Haunt me. It's hard to breathe without you.
Just please don't, please don't leave me without you.
No, please God, please don't
No, please God, please don't leave.

© is
Art by

Backstory: My grandpa was my father figure in my life as I grew up with someone who wasn't there and did alot of mental abuse and physical. My grandpa was the one who protected me from him. I was his pup and he was like my alpha. He passed away June 14th, 2010, the day after I graduated highost school. I went to visit him coming back straight from a night at disneyland (grad night) and straight to the hospital. I brought my guitar to play for him as he requested. He asked me to play Winter by Bayside because he knew I hated to play such a depressing song but I did anyway.
There's a chorus that really didn't help either lol but it goes
"An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime." Which is the 3rd chorus before I noticed him closing his eyes, his hand still on my arm as I played and he passed away as I finished the Song with a smile on his face.
I ran away and didn't attend the funeral or wake because I lost someone who meant more to me than ever.
I stood away until I moved to vegas and I always had bad dreams of reminders that I had to go see him. It's what I did. I needed closure with the person who was my father figure. It's been 5 years and still hurts. I miss you everyday, grandpa.