I channeled my 13-year-old animu fangirl to bring you this parody-tastic image. Enjoy.

Notes:
1. Heart and diamond earrings on right ear, club and spade on left
2. Ears are EXACTLY 11.5 inches long
3. Purple streak of hair usually covers right eye
4. Right eye can see through solid objects, shoot lasers, is color of Mountain Dew
5. Nose changes color with mood
6. Solid gold tongue stud
7. Pineapple-mango-scented breath attracts girls, stuns enemies
8. Immaculately-sculpted soul patch
9. Hair is color of hot chocolate
10. Angel and devil wing markings
11. Black and purple arm warmer. Purpose unknown.
12. Navel ring provides protective barrier when threatened
13. Amethyst gives psychic powers
14. The Five Ring - Five times better than the One Ring
15. Honorary Leaf Village Jonin
16. Pure silk boxer-briefs
17. Tail can be used as a paintbrush
18. Deistic Brace restrains the might of the God Paw
19. Leg fluff repels dirt, etc.
20. Gold ankle bracelet proof of Incan princehood