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Radda the Mareep sets off to enjoy some time at his Uncle Bill’s house, but quickly finds that the place is all but empty. Between the chores that need doing in his uncle’s stead and the odd menagerie of science and experimentation, the Mareep soon finds himself left to any device but his own—and when a Regiskype call goes wrong, the empty house only promises to get more crowded.
Description courtesy of
Mannoth
So! This story was written over a period of six weeks, one stream a week, with copious amounts of silly and help from those who stopped regularly by my streams! Heck. I mean, the regulars of said streams star in this story after all! It took a hell of a long time but it is done! Thanks to all of you who showed up and especially big thanks to
Mannoth
KingDead
RWolf5
Balina
V_D_O
march-dragon
NEXT
The Pitfalls of Pokefusion
By: RaddaRaem
Hands shoved into his brown corduroy pockets, Radda arched his brow. The musical chirps of the stealthy Kriketots lurking in the tall grass and buzzes and bees of the Ledyba bumbling about in the warm summer air drowned out the low hum of the generators lining the building he was deigned to housesit. “Bill’s house, huh?” He tapped a black keratin fingertip against the creaking wooden sign that announced whose domicile he had bumbled upon. It reluctantly swung back and forth upon its rusted hinges. A worried bahh slipped forth from his blue furred muzzle when a frightened Spinarak plopped down from the wooden fixture’s backside and skittered into the knee high vegetation.
The Mareep turned his head side to side. Perched up high atop a grassy hill he looked down to the quaint wooden bridge at its base that lead back to Cerulean city. Pocked by crisscrossing canals that sparkled in the sunlight, the city’s polished marble buildings all but blinded him. Blinking rapidly he turned his attention back to the… anomaly before him. An outpost was the best word that came to mind when he gazed upon the structure. Steel shutters layered along its side like wooden paneling. Reinforced bulletproof windows. A rounded roof embedded with solar panels. Whoever this Bill was made little to no effort to blend into his surroundings. “Dangit Celia, he’s your uncle. Why can’t you be doing this?”
Bleating nervously as he tread along the gravel path leading up to the front door, nervously kicking at and shooing away the far too curious Caterpies and Weedles, his hooved feet gently tread up to the front door. A gray slab of metal stood before him. Where he would have liked to have seen a handle or a knob was instead a keypad. “I can only imagine this is supposed to keep out people like me,” he grumbled out loud while he fished a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. Various keytones sounded out as his fingers typed out the prescribed password.
PASSWORD: ACCEPTED
A monotonous mechanical monotone sounded out as mists of cooled air hissed from the unbolted door. With a cacophonous creak, metal grinding agonizingly against metal, the slab of steel simply slid away into the wall. “Alright so what’s next…” Radda read aloud as he stepped through the rectangular gap in the wall. His wool crackled with electricity when the door slid back into place behind him.
He kept his eyes dipped downwards on his hastily scribbled out instructions before. Crumbling it up between his fingers he tucked it into the wooly tufts of his puffy chest. His hand remained shoved deep into the wavy curls of egg-white wool while he fished out another item.
POKEDEX
POKEMON
ITEM
RADDAREEP
SAVE
OPTION
EXIT
“There we go!” Bahhing contentedly the Mareep procured a letter from the ITEM slot tucked deep in his wool. Those bright eyes of his dipped low against their sockets, he kept their curious gaze away from all of the no doubt priceless equipment lining the tables and tucked away into the transparent cupboards lining the sterile white walls.
“Greetings faux-nephew!
The name’s Bill. There’s really no way to pen this introduction without sounding stuffy or awkward as heck so I’ll just dig right into it! My niece can’t stop gushing about you, and given that both she and I will be touring Silph Co. for the next week, she made sure to drop hint after hint about how I would be at perfect ease were I to leave the welfare of my lab to yours truly. So! Here’s a helpful list of to-do’s I’d very much appreciate your assistance with.
1. Water the Lotads out front. I have no idea how they managed to wander so far from the Cerulean waterways but they’re cute little buggers all the same. I usually just drag out the hose from the side of the house and turn it on full blast. They’ll come waddling along full speed in no time looking for a good hosing down.
2. Kick out any Ledyba you find collecting along the insides of the windows. No clue how those big bastards keep finding their way in but Arceus do I hate those obnoxious albeit adorable things. Give the place a patrol at the beginning and end of each day. No basement or second story to worry about. You’ll know they’re there if you hear some tunking or bee-bee-beeing against the windows. Should be a breeze for you with a well-placed Thunderwave!
3. Please please please help yourself! Celia’s shapeliness runs in the family and I’ve been doing an awful job sticking to my diet. By all means feel free to clear out the fridge! What isn’t there when I get back will be one less thing to tempt me.
4. Finally, don’t fuss or fret about playing around in my lab! I actually wouldn’t mind some user feedback for some new devices I’ve been poking and prodding at. There’s an antiquated telephone booth nestled in the corner of the living room and a... I still haven’t found a good way to describe what the thing looks like. The walk-in shower looking thing plopped in the middle of my office. Why not see if you can suss out what they are capable of?
That and, worse comes to worse, I can revert the save state of the place to exactly the way it was prior to my trip to Saffron. So hey, no harm done. If you need anything at all, feel free to call me at GOOD-EEVEENING! Or 4-663-338-336-464!
Thanks again and looking forward to meeting you!
Bill”
“That doesn’t seem so bad… is what I would say if I didn’t expect that to end disastrously.” Smirking to himself, the Mareep opted not to openly invite disaster. Stuffing the letter back into his wool he took to quietly showing himself around Bill’s digs. The sterile walls and immaculately kept tiles, stretching on towards a bleak looking office on the left and to an open air laboratory on the right, gave way to hardwood floors. “Business up front and party out back huh?” Radda mused to himself while he grinned at the lavish leather couches spread out before him. Where a wall probably should have been was instead an imposing television set. Situated a ways back even further was a well-stocked kitchen adorned with granite shelves and tables.
“I probably really shouldn’t,” Radda thought aloud as he entertained the temptation. Tucked behind a couch, just like Bill said, was an utterly ancient booth that looked to have been ripped straight of a 1990’s Pokemon center. A cracked and fraying LCD screen with a brick of a phone resting against its side. He winced at the coat of grime along the receiver’s garish green handle and the crusted over keyboard sitting in front of it. Well. It was either this or fend off the bugs. Or those weird-lilypad things. Puffing his cheeks out he bahhed and tugged the piece of plastic older than he was off its receiver. The screen promptly flickered to life. “What the?”
To his sheepy shock the latest and greatest version of Regiskype booted up. Albeit all pixelated and fuzzy. A blocky Registeel wobbled back and forth upon the screen. Curiosity aroused, Radda tapped on the Steel-type’s representation. The screen chugged along as it zoomed in on the seven red dots comprising the creature’s face. Said dots flared in intensity as their uniform red surface populated with the avatars of the Mareep’s most frequent contacts on the chat service.
-Regiskype Help
-KingDead
-Balina
-Alex
-March
-Rwolf
-Mannoth
Brow flattened, the only thing that came to mind was why the hell it knew to log in with his credentials. Bahhh. He’d flail and bother at that faux-uncle Eevee of his later. Hmm… it looked like Balina was online! The background of the moof’s avatar flicked to green in color to indicate her active online presence. With a boop the electric sheep poked at her avatar and a new conversation window opened up. Before he could so much as type out a message though the grimy keyboard at his rock-hard fingertips clacked away. Sparks harmlessly fitzed out from the side of the booth while the screen went black. A command prompt overwhelmed the screen.
Archiving latitude and longitude coordinates of conversation participants…
Launching AbraAir.exe…
“Ummm…” Hands at his sides the Mareep was uncertain how to act. He simply blinked and continued to observe the screen. A low hum kicked off from the monitor that was now actively radiating heat.
Relocating contact “Balina” to current coordinates…
Conversation shall commence in 0.4 seconds…
Eyes bulging, the Mareep bleated and – WUMF. …And he groaned as he lay flopped out on the ground with a moof atop him. The mass of limbs and fluff atop him sank gently in Radda’s poofy form while both parties acclimated themselves to the abrupt bout of socialization forced upon them. “Hi Balina.”
“Cranial capacities rebooting,” a pleasant feminine voice sounded out. Balina oofed and moofed while her mechanical arms whirred about in their sockets. “All active conversations have ceased as internet connection has been lost.” Bips of blue light escaped from LEDs embedded into moof’s mechanical arms while the rudimentary AI continued to speak aloud.
Eys squinted shut, Balina pressed all four of her hands against the ground. “Computer, identify cause of disruption.” The harder she pressed herself off the surface beneath her the louder the wheezing of air and bahhing became. “Addendum. Computer, prioritize determining the cause of this bahhing noise.” The moof squeezed and scrunched her fingers at the warm soft surface. It was so puffy and pleasant and light whatever it was!
“Baaaaahhhhhlina!” Grumping, Radda flailed his nubby arms at the moof bearing down on him.
“Not now Radda, I’m sciencing!” She poked and pushed and prodded at this alien and intriguing landscape, drawing out ever more bahhs and bleats while she did so. Her limbs beeped repeatedly once a thorough analysis had been performed. Tapping at a wrought iron wrist the moof watched on impatiently as the metal fingers retracted into her broad metallic palm. It expanded noticeably as a black film spread across its surface and a video feed clicked to life. Sine curves deriving from multiple auditory sources were overlapped upon one another until a perfect match was found.
SOURCE CONFIRMED - MAREEP
Balina frowned. Well now that can’t be- “Oh. Wait. Reep what are you doing down there? Huh well no wonder your auditory cries were a peculiarly perfect match for this.”
“Hello to you too,” Radda grumped. Fingers wrapped tight around a couch leg he tried to pull himself free from under her the cowolf’s impassive form. He groaned when she remained firmly plopped upon his soft and puffy frame. “You can get off me now.”
Wasting no time Balina immediately relaunched her lost conversations. She dragged a fluffy finger across her mechanical palm’s touchscreen and poked to relaunch Regiskype.
“Moof!”
“Hmmm? Oh. Very well.” Rising to her feet, she brushed off the stray strands of wool caught in the sockets of her prosthetic limbs. “Mind explaining why I’m here? Or better yet why you saw fit to embed a digitalized teleportation command into my Regiskype client and remotely activate it? …Or how you did that now that I think about. The embedding and the conversion of such a thing into bytes of data parts, specifically.”
Radda rolled his shoulders side to side and stretched his back. “Beats me.” He exhaled through his nose dismissively while the moof rolled her eyes at him. “Look. The guy I’m housesitting for encouraged me to play around with some of his experiments. Which sounds terrible in retrospect but… I really don’t know why I thought this was a good idea to be honest.”
Intrigued, Balina shook her mechanical arm until it returned to its original dimensions. Flicking her fingers, both the prosthetic and the flesh and fluff kind, dozens of sensors flared to life along her artificial digits. “You don’t say… Mind if I help myself? I mean, it’s the least you can do to make up for interrupting my studies.”
Mouth gone flat the Mareep bleated at her. “You’re still in your pajamas.”
“…So. I was studying the… sleep cycles. Of the dread cowolf.”
Rolling his eyes, Radda merely pointed back at the entrance. “Just keep walking until it gets all sterile and blindingly bright. Should be an office to your right. With some sort of walk-in showery thing?” He shrugged and shooed her off. Ever so timidly he pranced back up to the phone booth. Squinting his eyes he turned his attention towards RegiSkype once more.
Balina’s icon flashed. The lime green circle that enveloped her avatar faded in brightness. It took on a subdued grassy green hue that gave way to the deepest darkest blues that haunted the ocean depths. Her status switched from ‘Available’ to ‘Physically Present.’
“Hrmmm… maybe later,” the Mareep mulled aloud to himself while carefully distanced himself from the machine. Besides. No one else was even online yet! He could fiddle with it later at his leisure.
Hooves clacking softly against the tiled floor, Balina tiptoed over errant bundles of fiberoptic cables and disheveled notebooks as she made her way into Bill’s office. The transition from debilitating cleanliness to technological treasure trove of garbage was abrupt if anything. “Snrrk. Whoever runs this joint is about as organized as I am. Makes me feel right at home!” The moof pressed her shoulder into a broad oak desk all but blocking further passage off to the side. Countless cables and wires coiled around its stubby wooden legs when she did so. “So this is what the Reep was talking about…”
She brought a paw up to her chin and papped at it in pondering. Before her stood a glass cylinder capped with a plastic dome. Plastic veins extended out from it to the ceiling and portable generators humming quietly along the furthest walls. Of their own volition her prosthetic limbs whirred to life and made jazz hands at the two computer monitors embedded along its sides. Both of her metal wrists rotated about themselves to reveal blackened monitors that popped to life with a crackle of static. Lines of white text noisily populated their compressed real estate and hurriedly identified the systems, databases, and power sources each piece of machinery was powered by.
“Hmmm. They’re… duplicates of one another. Same make, same model. Call upon the same store of information even. Strange.” Balina tread forward and plopped a fuzzy finger against the nearest monitor seeing as how no keyboards had the mind to present themselves. Not even amongst the refuse littering the floor!
BWUMP
Both monitors gradually nudged themselves to life as, pixel by pixel, they illuminated themselves. A drab khaki colored screen, punctuated by a bright red Pokeball symbol, revealed itself to the moof. The screen darkened while the software on display chugged and heaved. Letter by agonizing letter made itself manifest along the top of the screen.
SELECT FIRST POKEMORPH
Beneath the Pokeball, blocks of green gushed across the screen. When the tide settled and the pixels were washed away a striking set of sprites remained. Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, and Venusaur gently bounced up and down as blindingly white numerals appeared above them.
“A Pokedex?” Balina arched a brow and dragged her finger along the screen to the right. Whirrs and puffs of hot air billowed out from the sides of the screen but after a couple second delay a new set of sprites displayed themselves.
719 – Diancie
720 – Hoopa
721 - Volcanion
The moof’s eyebrows flattened and rose up along her forehead. “Every Pokemorph known to currently exist. Not bad.” Curiosity aroused, she swiped a padded finger to the left repeatedly. A blur of colors flew across the screen, much too fast for any individual sprites to be made out. Slowly the individual ‘Mons came into focus as the numbers ticked up into the two hundred range. “210, 220, 230…” Balina mouthed aloud as she impatiently awaited one of her favorite sprites to flit across the screen. “238… 239… 240… Aww come on.” She mooed quietly and gently dragged a digit an inch or so to the left along the fading screen. “241! There.” The moof hmmed and nodded in delight as a pink and pudgy Miltank contentedly hopped up and down upon the screen. She reached out to pap a finger against the screen to confirm her choice when a sudden series of beeps interrupted her.
NOD. CONFIRMED.
MILTANK SELECTED
“Oh! Facial recognition even.” Balina rubbed her mechanical hands together as she continued to be pleasantly surprised. A soothing green hue overcame the monitor as the sprites locked up and froze in place.
CONFIRM SECOND CHOICE ON ACCOMPANYING TERMINAL
Slow rhythmic chirps sounded out from the screen adorning the other side of the cylinder. “Nothing if not user friendly,” the moof grunted aloud as she made the arduous effort of plodding a half-dozen steps to the next stage of her experiment. “The things I do for science!” She grunted aloud as she impatiently tapped a hoof against the floor waiting for the next phase of this machine’s machinations to whirr to life. Her foot whumped gently against a haphazard arrangement of wires bundled together with twist-ties.
SELECT SECOND POKEMORPH
Balina sighed after mulling over the minutes it took for that simple message to load. “Second huh? Well… hmm.” Her four arms draped to her side. “The whole point of having a favorite is to be able to settle on one and one alone. Darn you, tyranny of choice! I thought to have slain you once and here you are resurrected and powerful as ever!” The moof playfully gnashed her teeth at the artificially lit sky before cocking her head to the side. “Guess we’ll see what jumps out at me!” With that, she all but swatted at the screen and sent the roulette of sprites rocketing across the screen. Balina’s eyes lazily danced back and forth across the screen until something caused them to nearly bulge out of their sockets. The flow of colors and information screeched to a halt in response.
“YOUUUUUUUUU.”
A Bellsprout sprite, happily bobbing to and fro under the shade of the number 69, greeted her.
“NOT YOU. YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”
The Grass-Type representation was flung off screen while a Machamp took front and center and proudly flexed under a hovering 68.
“YES. GOD YES.” She all but slammed a hand against the monitor and commanded it to glow green in affirmation.
RAPTURE. CONFIRMED.
MACHAMP SELECTED
Once more a repeated series of beeps sounded out. The moof’s ears flit about as the crackle and hum of electricity loudly coursed through the black plastic arteries feeding into the device from above. Puffs and hisses of steam escaped from where glistening grey electrical tape mashed bundles of circuitry together.
PLEASE ENTER CHAMBER
In fits and spurts the glass dome rose towards the ceiling where the plastic cap covering it pressed firmly against the mess of wiring dangling above. Dipping down low, Balina threw caution into the wind and stood within the cylinder’s center. Her grey furred soles stomped excitedly against the exposed tile while she swatted and smacked at her mechanical limbs that flailed about and sounded off alarm after alarm.
PRESENCE REGISTERED
LOWERING CHAMBER
Balina wiggled excitedly as unknown after unknown assailed her scientific mind. The glass tinked loudly when it was lowered back down against the floor. So this was a rash if not poorly thought out course of action. So she had no idea what the consequences of said actions might be. So she might end up like Jeff Goldblum. BUT MAH GAWD. Those arms! Those glorious hulknormous arms! All four of them even! She couldn’t NOT be a part of that.
INITIATING FUSION
A blinding light and radiating heat engulfed the moof as the generators adorning the far walls screeched and pulsed with intensity. Sparks and crackles of electricity leapt from one to the other and snaked their way up to the nest of wires that fed into the top of the Bill’s nebulous contraption.
CREATING MILCHAMP
Humming to himself, Radda flicked his wrist to and fro. The green hose in his hand, cutely patterned after Raquaza with streaks and dashes of reds and yellows, blurbled and gurgled a steady stream of water. A flock of Lotads waddled excitedly at his feet and walked in and out of the Reep-made waterfall. “You are adorable little lily…pad… things, aren’t you?” the Mareep giggled to himself.
One by one he capped off the tops of their wilting yellowing lilypads with water. Liquid refreshment sloshing to and fro atop their heads, the plant membranes adorning those peculiar Grass and Water-type’s noggins stiffened and came alive as the sunshine yellows gave way to lime green! Content and happy, the Lotads wandered off into the brush at their own leisurely pace.
“That wasn’t too bad!” First chore completed, the Reep sauntered off towards the side of Bill’s home. Every so often he sprayed and swatted at a Yanma that buzzed worryingly close. When that proved insufficient, a grumpy bleat sounded out from his sheepy snoot and arcs of static crackled along his wool. The Bug and Flying Type quickly fled. “Freaking bugs…” Radda all but shuddered when he cranked the faucet shut and rolled the Rayquaza themed hose up.
“YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”
Rumbling bellows and muted flashes of light worryingly sounded out through the dense bulletproof windows punched into the side of Bill’s home. Heat radiated off the steel shingles immediately surrounding the plexiglass rectangle offering a sneakpeek into the Eevee’s office.
“...Time for the next chore.” Ignoring the shenanigans as hard as he could, the Mareep shoved a hand deep into his wooly chest and plucked out the letter from his faux-uncle. “No. No no no surely there’s something else I can do outside!” His eyes scanned up and down along the list looking for a way to shirk off and shake free the silliness no doubt brewing inside. Radda’s mind buzzed at the… wait was that his mind? He bahhed softly as the buzzing continued unabated. “Ack!”
To his surprise a consternation, a Combee gently bapped into the Mareep’s yellow shirted self and hovered curiously around the flower colored not-flower.
“Shoo!” Radda bleated worriedly at the Bug-type. It bopped and bapped into him unabated. “Shoo shoo shoo shoo!” He grumped as he took to prancing to escape the buzzy busybody of a bee. Undeterred, the Combee took chase and followed the Reep as he made laps around the property in a poorly thought out bid to evade it.
All four hands, all four fleshy pink-furred hands, resting upon her hips, Balina patiently waited out the glass chamber’s ascendance as a manic grin adorned her face. It remained plastered upon her face even as the Milchamp’s newfound udders dragged and squeaked noisily against the curved glass. Strings of vowels tumbled forth from her pink fuzzed maw as coherent thought failed her.
“HEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Balina wrapped every limb about her chest and hugged herself tight. Stepping forth from the chamber, her jiggly udder capped belly wobbled to and fro. “Just look at me!” She struck a pose and flexed her bloated and swollen biceps. Black keratin fingertips curled against her pink palms while her body bulged with muscle. “Science is awesome! I AM AWESOME,” the Milchamp mooed triumphantly. Tail swishing behind her, the black capped ball that adorned it bobbed to and fro. Biting into her bottom lip, Balina’s multiple limbs took to exploring her new body.
“Oooh there are my horns!” She mooed in delight as her fingers twiddled against the pointed white cones poking out of the top of her head. “And my big ol floppy ears!” Another set of arms thumbed at the soft black fuzz that coated the ears that stuck out from the side of her skull. “Then of course there’s the main attraction…” A toothy grin spread wide across her muzzle, Balina’s upper set of limbs high-fived the lower ones.
Delighted as the former moof was with her transformation, pressing questions remained. Her scientific mind chugged once more. “Hrrmmm… now wonderful as this is… am I Milchamp because I chose Miltank then Machamp? Would Machamp then Miltank yield the same desirable results? Or would I instead become Matank? Hmmhmm.” Balina stroked at her chin thoughtfully. She couldn’t very well risk undoing this mooriffic miracle that had visited her! And besides. As a good and proper scientist she would need to start fresh. New data points. Control groups. The works!
She paced back and forth before the marvelous machine. “As far as controls go… Radda will work just fine! He can remain his sheepy self. Yes yes… his mental state will be quite useful as a reference point. Wooly and content to remain as he is and probably not enamored or obsessed with this miracle-maker like I am!” Balina steepled her fingers together and grinned. “…I’m only a lot a bit crazy but it’s okay so long as I admit it! SO! Where will I find more data points…” The Milchamp took to bouncing up and down on the balls of her soles. “Ah! That’s right!” Snapping a good four fingers together at the same time, she stormed off towards the lavish living room. Her hooves alternated between thunderous clacks and muffled thumps as tile, hardwood floor, and carpeting shifted and churned beneath her feet.
“If Radda was able to summon me forth via RegiSkype,” giggling manically Balina all but rushed to the beaten down booth stuffed in the corner, “What’s stopping me from doing the same?” Her eyes narrowed when she observed that the Mareep’s session was still open and free to interact with. “Offline, offline, offline… noooooo! Dammit Radda’s friends get your asses online!” The Milchamp clenched her fists and shuddered. Augh what was she going do without
RWolf5 is now Online
Balina gasped deeply as fate smiled down upon her and one of the Mareep’s friends had the poor misfortune to decide to be social today. Even though her previous analysis of the AbraAir executable proved that initiating a conversation wasn’t actually necessary, the Milchamp indulged in the effort anyway. One hand poking at the screen and two others clacking away at the keyboard, she slammed off a message to the unsuspecting red panda.
“AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A POKEMON PARTY BECAUSE A POKEMON PARTY IS ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY.”
Cackling madly or… well. More like mooing with insidious intent, somehow parsing out how to cram more than a dozen syllables into a single moo, Balina clapped her pink palms together.
“Mooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo! MOOOOOOOO! Moo.” The Milchamp cleared her throat and composed herself as the AbraAir executable loaded up on the screen and belted out one line of code after another.
Relocating contact “RWolf5” to current coordinates…
Conversation shall commence in 0.7 seconds…
Hulknormous arms held out to her sides, Balina trapped the projectile panda that came wailing out of the monitor in a crushing hug. “Name’s Balina!” She bellowed as she hoisted her latest data point err… experiment… acquaintance. Yes. That. Latest acquaintance held high above her head, two hands clutching at his shoulders and the other two around his thick thighs, the Milchamp immediately struck up a conversation. “You and me? We’re going to science together!”
The red panda ummed worriedly while she jiggled him back and forth and actively transported… kidnapped… you know what transported wasn’t that bad a choice of words to be honest. “I-I’m Jesse. And confused, to be honest.” Ringed tail flopping down against the back of his legs, rings of rust and white colored fur punctuating his fluffy limb, Jesse remained locked in dumb shock as he was hurriedly whisked through a strange and alien environment.
“Awww, don’t be! You’ve simply been transported to some shindig Radda is housesitting via the magic of a hacked instant messenger! Also, we’re going to see what you look like with a little Machamp in you. Wait, no. Never. Machoke is plenty.” Balina briefly flexed her arms and let those bulging biceps, rippling pink mountains of muscle, chafe against one another. They were to be hers and hers alone.
Jesse’s teal eyes bounced worriedly back and forth between his sockets when he took in the sights and sounds passing him by. He stared down at his captor’s hooved feet and watched them clack against planks of polished wood, sterile tiles, and finally knotted weaves of wires. “So. Um. You know Radda?” The mention of the wooly Mareep calmed him a marginal amount.
“Sure do!” She turned towards one of the thick transparent windows motioned towards it with a nod of her head. Tall tufts of grass swayed gently in the wind and the subdued chirps and cheeps of Bug-Types and Flying-Types alike could be heard through it. Along with a drawn out bleat that steadily rose in intensity.
“BAHHHHHHHHHH!” Prancing for all he was worth, the Reepest of sheeps zipped by the window into the outside world. Green stalks and fledging berry bushes were tugged towards him and then pushed away by the wall of wind carried along by his wooly form. A deafening buzz sounded out shortly after as a cloud of Combees buzzed on after him.
“He’s a little preoccupied right now as you can see.” Balina set the red panda down before Bill’s Pokefusion chamber and nodded sagely. “Anywho! What kinda Pokemon do you wanna be? Your choices are Machoke and… everything else.”
Laughing nervously, the red panda leaned back and meeped as he felt a wall of glass press against him. He timidly tiptoed forward only to be gently pushed back by a wall of limbs. “I… say again? I’m sorry but this is all happening so fast!” Another bahh could be heard through the window as the Mareep completed another lap around Bill’s house.
Balina crossed her arms about her chest and tutted. “I suppose it can’t be helped! I am dragging you into this blind, after all.” The Milchamp leaned forward and plopped a thick black keratin finger against the touch monitor to Jesse’s left. The liquid crystals inside the screen flattened under her touch and muted colors, courtesy of some smished sprites, spilled out from beneath her digit. “Kidnapping aside, this glorious device is a Pokemon Fusion chamber!” Her lower set of arms drummed against the chamber excitedly. “Whatcha do is select two Pokemon from, well, all of them. Step into the chamber. And boosh! Out you step a newly minted Pokemon. An entirely new Pokemon in fact!”
Jesse oohed as his posture straightened and his eyes lit up. Dubious circumstances aside he had to admit his curiosity was piqued.
“Now you look like a Machoke man, am I right? Of course I’m right. Say I’m right.” Balina went ahead and dragged a finger along the lefthand monitor and selected for him. “What we need to suss out now is what your new other half will be! Any ideas there?”
Rubbing at his thick fuzzy chin, the red panda hmmmed aloud. “I doooo like mice. Especially the Electric kind! Pikachu or Raichu would be nice!” Giggling shyly, Jesse clasped his fingers together and got to pondering.
Bouncing impatiently and mooing all the while, Balina painfully waited for him to make up his mind. Back and forth she flipped between #25 and #26 on the screen to his right. Yellows and Oranges burned themselves into the screen as the Milchamp swirled between Pikachu and Raichu.
“I choose… Pikachu!” Grin spread wide upon his face, Jesse set his hands upon his wide soft hips and nodded proudly. He winced when a hiss of steam and the whirr of electric motors rumbled just behind him.
PLEASE ENTER CHAMBER
Jesse acked as Balina all but shoved him in.
PRESENCE REGISTERED
LOWERING CHAMBER
“H-hey!” Fists tunking gently against the glass, Jesse’s brows furrowed. “I will be able to go back to normal after this, right?”
Balina tossed all four arms up into a shrug. “Iunno!” A wicked grin spread wide across the Miltank-Machamp fusion’s face as purple and blue arcs of electricity cascaded down the side of the glass entrapment. “Oh you’ll be fine!” She assured the red panda as he worriedly pounded against the glass and his body bulged up and out. “Probably.”
Crackles and hums lashed out at the air in fits and spurts while Balina turned her back on the work in progress. Mindful of the fact that she had chosen Miltank and THEN Machamp she wasn’t entirely surprised by the naming conventions. Or that the cow part of her had been given precedence over everything else. But it was still something that needed to be rigorously tested! Would it hold true for Jesse, she wondered? “Machu would establish a pattern for naming conventions. A yellow furred Machoke sporting crackling red cheeks would be… unsettling. But not entirely unexpected! Hrmm. Or would it be a more along the lines of a purple Pikachu bearing some of the Fighting-Type’s buff and toughness?” Leaning forward, her eyes focused intently on the screens at the fusion chamber’s sides.
CREATING MACHU
“HA! I knew it!” Wiggling her tail side to side, her pencil-thin limb topped with a black ball of fuzz, the Milchamp mooed and woohooed in victory. Two data points wasn’t definitive by any stretch of the imagination but it was certainly a strong start! “Tell me, Jesse.” Deep and baritone groans could be heard from within the glass chamber as the light within faded. Slowly, ever so slowly, the device ascended towards the ceiling. A yellow-furred figure stumbled forth once it had cleared its head. “How do you feel?”
The newly minted Machu let out a syrupy rich grunt while thick yellow furred fingers scratched at newly formed abdominals. “I feel… strong! Well. Silly, mostly.” Standing head and shoulders above the Milchamp, the for the most part Pikachu had bloated with impossible amounts of muscle. Nearly as thick as he was tall, the Pikachu bore little resemblance to the Fighting-type he derived half of his very essence from. Save for a broad flat muzzle and locks of hair that coiled into dreadlocks atop his skull he looked the part of a Pikachu! One that just happened to be utterly hulknormous and averse to clothing. His red cheeks flaring up in embarrassment with sparks of static he looked down at his shredded shirt and shortest of shorts that struggled to cling tight to his swollen frame. “You wouldn’t happen to have a change of clothes in XXL sitting around, would you?”
Balina ground her flat teeth against one another and harrumphed. She still had the arms advantage and that’s what mattered at the very least. Darn musclebound Machu stealing her thunder. Another bleat, this one somewhat tired, carried through the closed windows. “Don’t know and don’t care. If you’ll excuse me I’ve got a couple more trials to run…” With a sulking moo, the Milchamp stomped off and out of the office back to the RegiSkype terminal.
“O-okay. I’ll just… I’ll just see what the sheepyreep is up to.” Timidly, Jesse flattened a veritable crossroads of wiring under this thick paws as he scurried out of the office. “If I can find him that is!” He corrected himself while he plodded right past the front door and found himself hopelessly lost in Bill’s bunker of a building.
Panting furiously and sweat dripping from his brow, Radda’s blue tinged fur and yellow wool roiled furiously with electricity. Smoke wafted off of the crunchy honeycomb forms of the now retreating swarm of Combees. “Bahhh, enough of this!” Shaking his head side to side he resolved to suck it up and confront the silliness that was bound to be waiting for him. He inhaled deeply through his sheepy snoot upon approaching the front door. Limb trembling, he punched in the necessary digits into the keypad by Bill’s front door. With every beep and boop he bit down harder on his bottom lip until finally, agonizingly, it slid open and a cool wave of air-conditioned… air, gushed past him.
“Balina? You still there?” No response. The Mareep cautiously made his way inside and silence was there to greet him. “I can’t tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing that it isn’t immediately obvious what that moof is up to,” he thought aloud with a slumping of his shoulders. He decided against waiting around for that question to answer itself. Shoving a hand into the hammerspace that was the puffs and tufts of wool adorning his chest, Radda produced Bill’s letter one last time. “Let’s see. The last chore on here was… patrol for Ledybas. That seems simple enough!” Weight resting upon one leg, the sheep tipped forward and snuck a peek at Bill’s lab. Not a Bug-type in sight cluttered along the windows. “Oh thank Arceus,” he bleated aloud before prancing off in the opposite direction to complete his survey.
“Hail citizen! How can I help youOOOF!” The spandex covered wolf had the wind knocked out of him as Balina all but dragged him out of the messaging terminal and towards her desired destination. “T-trickery! You’re not the sheepy who bahhed and bleated out for saving! What have you done with him, you fiend?!”
Rolling her eyes, the Milchamp tightened her grip around the wolf’s ankles and pulled him ever forward. “You’re right, I’m not. But you can help me!”
Wrinkles formed along the gray wolf’s forehead. “How? You’re being nothing if sneaky about asking for it! State your game, villain! That and how the heck did you shrink me.”
“Shrink? That wasn’t me that was AbraAir doing its thing. Compressing people into as few bits of data as possible to teleport them whenever, wherever, in tenths of a second is kind of its gig. Anyway. You can help me by answering a spoken… survey. Of sorts.” Whatever kind of hero this canine fashioned himself to be, he had proven foolish enough to reveal his status as ‘Available’ on RegiSkype. That’s all the mattered to Balina. “So, KingDead. What would you say are your favorite Pokemon?”
He winced as the back of his head tunked against a series of steps. “Ooof! Hmmm… not like any of my super-secret codewords hail back to my days as a would-be Pokemon trainer. I guesssssss I can tell you.” KingDead grumped as his red cape dragged behind him and collected all sorts of dust and dirt. “I’ll have you know that I was a world-class Arcanine and Ursaring trainer back in the day! Team of six? Ha!” Hearty laughter bellowed out from his broad and chiseled chest. “Hoenn was easy pickings for someone as strong and courageous as me with but a team of two! Alas…” He sighed and brought a forearm up to his forehead. “Before my professional career could take off I was thrust into the world of superheroics by an utterly implausible yet equally awesome origin story!”
“Arcanine and Ursaring. Got it,” Balina mumbled. She hmmmed aloud as her gaze flit to and fro. There was no sign of that showoff Machu. “Suppose it’s not all THAT unexpected to think I would be the only one obsessed with pushing and poking at the limits and inherent logic governing this thing. Don’t get to be a headmoof err… Milchamp otherwise!” she thought to herself. Loosening her grip, Kingdead’s paws plopped to the floor with a loud thud. A pained oof sounded out when his heels whacked loudly against the now cracked tiles.
Harrumphing and coughing, repeatedly and loudly, into Balina’s floppy ears the wolf rose to his feet. How rude! “Do you require any more help, villain? Err… suspicious cow civilian.” With a dash of distrust Kingdead’s facemask creased with wrinkles. “Usually this is the part where any member of my rogue’s gallery would proudly proclaimed how they have tricked me or trapped me!” Ever vigilant, the wolf circled about in place and scanned for any obvious traps. No anvils hanging from the ceiling. No off-colored tiles to indicate trap doors. No obnoxiously bright or big buttons. Hmm. If this mooing malefactor was up to no good she certainly hid her hand well!
Balina twiddled her black rock-hard fingers against her pink and fuzzy chin. Now how best to go about this. Well… given her luck with naming conventions it would be best to pursue that further and confirm her hypothesis. Though that would require making certain that her next subject committed to one of the same Pokemon that this spandex silly did! “Yeah yeah you’ve been nothing if not helpful,” she replied with a dismissive wave of one of her hands.
“R-really?!” KingDead’s thick grey tail swished side to side in delight. “Would you be willing to put that in writing?” Dusting off his supersuit, the wolf excitedly fumbled through the compartments on his utility belt. “See…” he laughed nervously. “I maaaay have been kicked out from certain Super Leagues in times past given err… ummm… questionable complaints about my professionalism and penchant for devastating property damage. If I can get enough citizens to vouch that my superheroics are neither life-threatening nor destructive they’ll let me back in!” Bouncing up and down on the balls of his paws he all but shoved the fine print and a ballpoint pen at her.
She oofed and mooed as paper and pen papped against her. “Ah, that’s right!” Balina mused with great difficulty as she swatted at the pushy poking wolf. “There was an entry for VDO on Radda’s RegiSkype wasn’t there? Moohoohoo…” The Milchamp steeped her fingers as she plotted. “That Arcanine obsessed saberyena will be perfect for-”
“Please please please please please!!!” KingDead arfed and arooed and pleaded.
The Milchamp grunted when the wolf slipped a crumpled piece of paper and plastic between her digits. “Fine. But!” Rolling her eyes, she signed off on the dotted line without even bothering to read it. “In exchange for my signature, I need your help once more.”
“Certainly, citizen!” Hands resting upon his hips, KingDead struck a valiant pose as the air conditioner kicked on overhead. His cape fluttered majestically behind him. “How may I be of assistance?” Pinching the precious pen and paper between his padded fingertips he deposited them back into the depths of his utility belt.
Arms stretched out, Balina’s fingers swished and swooshed at the touch screens lining the sides of the chamber.
ARCANINE SELECTED
PLEASE SELECT-
URSARING SELECTED
“If you’d be so kind…” The Milchamp stepped to the side and ushered KingDead towards the now exposed inner workings of the chamber. Squeaking against the wires, the glass cylinder rose up into the ceiling. “To just… stand right here? Without moving?”
A grumpy bark slipped free from the wolf’s muzzle. “That’s a trap if I ever heard of one!” Flares of red overtook his grey cheeks. “Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me more than once… well, stop that!” He stomped a paw against the floor, mismatched and knotted bundles of wire coiling through his toes, and stood his ground.
PLEASE ENTER CHAMBER
“Never, you fiend!” Turning his nose up at the Milchamp he whirled about in place only to ensnare his ankles in a coiled mess of wires that hummed with electric warmth. “Wh-whoah!” He yelled as he teetered and tottered off balance. The bundle of cords tugged down at his legs and caused KingDead to stumble backwards. Flailing his arms wildly, he fell back onto a circular set of scorched tiles that depressed under his weight.
LOWERING CHAMBER
Balina arched her brows while she watched the glass plunk back down. “That was easy,” she smirked to herself with a shrug of her shoulders. “And this time… I am gonna guess Arcaring.”
CREATING ARCARING
“Mmmfff. I’m good.” The Milchamp pounded four fists against her chest and hmmed contentedly.
Sitting down and arms curled around his knees, KingDead snorted loudly through his wet black nose. “Least I didn’t walk into a trap this time…” He huffed as a blinding light and warmth overtook him. Crackles of electricity sputtered out from the device and arced along the floor towards the Milchamp.
“Hey now!” She danced about, hooves clopping loudly against the floor, as the roiling energy shifted hues between blues and green and lashed out at the air surrounding the chamber. Pops punctuated the room as tiny hairline cracks formed in the glass. “That’s new… Though. Then again perhaps this thing wasn’t built with rapid and repeated use in mind.” She shook her head side to side and sighed. Hopefully it would hold out long enough for the Milchamp to test out her theories on the naming conventions of the fusions at the very least! “No telling whether or not this’ll impact the end results in and of themselves,” Balina hrmmed while she bit into her lip. Best leave that for another time.
“What… what have you done to me, you cow craven!” A deep and rumbly voice bellowed out from within the steam that radiated off the machine. A stocky silhouette, replete with arms and legs that could be mistaken for tree trunks in terms of thickness, lumbered forth. Strained whirrs sounded the glass rose in fits and spurts from the now ashen ring embedded into the tiles. “You… you… you changed my costume!” Grring and grumping, KingDead stepped forth to boop the Milchamp. His broad black doggy nose bumped her back with ease. “I worked so hard on it and now… hmmph!” Broad and bulky arms crossed about his chest, the Arcaring pouted.
A form fitting chest piece, comprised of equal parts green and red spandex, stretched down from the Pokefusion’s neck down to just below his bloated pectorals. His thick and fluffy black belly lay exposed for all to see with a cream colored ring of fur circled around its taut and heaving surface. KingDead’s shorts remained unchanged, save for a larger hole for his now exponentially thicker and fluffier tail and the tears forming in the fabric that struggled to stretch over the circumference of his mega muscular thighs.
He grumped and groomped while he fumbled for his utility belt. Hands clad in fingerless gloves, those plump padded fingers struggled to poke down and retrieve the contents of any given compartment. They were just too darn big! He arooed and bitterly shook his head side to side. The Arcaring’s long thick flowing mane that stretched down along his back and to his tail swished gently as he did so. “That paperwork better still be in there! Don’t think you’ve won yet, villain! I’ll stop your dastardly, albeit incredibly fluffy, plans yet!” He paused to snuggle his pillowy soft tail in between his invectives.
“If you say so,” Balina dismissed him with a wave of her hands. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have another data point to gather.” Eyes half lidded, the Milchamp nonchalantly plodded out of the lab. Or tried to.
WHUMP
An orange leg wrapped with black stripes slammed down before her. A spherical bulge, a knee perhaps, extended out of the limb and nudged her back.
“Not so fast!” KingDead bellowed as a green aura radiated surrounded his body. Wisps of energy, lacking warmth but positively packing in color, flit off his body and dissipated into the stale and air-conditioned atmosphere. Subtle tremors rumbled out from his fluffy form while he swelled out ever thicker and taller, his commands dipping down in octave with the passing seconds. “Whatever it is you’re doing, I will not allow it!” Padded toes level with the Milchamp’s knees, the Arcaring hunched over as light fixtures and exposed wiring hanging along the ceiling dipped down into his mane. “No more fashion faux pas’ on my watch! You’ve ruined one supersuit too many!”
Balina blew a raspberry. “Whatever, I’ll buy you a new one.”
“It’s not the same!” He huffed. The whites of his eyemask glaring down at the Milchamp, the newly christened foes engaged in a stare off. A subdued intensity buzzed about them as the atmosphere grew thick with tension. And Bug-Types.
“BEE! LEDYBEEBEEBEE!” Wings thrumming against the air, a Ledyba bumbled through the lab, bumping and bopping against the walls as it navigated by braille.
“Bwuh?” Both Balina and KingDead broke eye contact to gawk at the Ladybug like intruder. Bleats and bahhs from the opposite side of the room soon drew their attention and they whipped their necks to and fro to take in the latest disturbance.
“After it, Jesse!” Radda bahhed as he pranced along the edges of the room. He bleated and bahhed with every leap and hop over the maze of wiring sprawled across the floor.
Hot on his heels, the Machu huffed as he struggled to keep pace. “I’m coming, I’m coming!”
“We can exposition later about whatever the hell it is that happened to you, just catch that Ledyba!” The Mareep’s wool sparked with electricity while he launched Thunderwave after Thunderwave at the darn bug. Each and every bolt fizzled against whatever surface they came into contact with as the Bug-type bobbed and ricocheted about.
“BEEBEEBEE!”
The Arcaring’s ears perked to attention. “Sheepy! He needs my help!” Knees bent, KingDead awkwardly tried to maneuver about the now cramped household. “And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.” Index and middle finger pointed at his eyes, the Pokecanine shifted their aim back and forth between himself and the Milchamp. “You’ll pay for your crimes against fashion soon!” Barks and ruffs slipped free from his muzzle while he slowly and painstakingly lumbered after the sheepreep in need of saving. “Oop, sorry!” A light fixture caught in his mane was ripped free from the ceiling and crashed to the floor. “My bad!” His thick and fluffy knee punched a sizable hole straight through a wall. Plaster and insulation bled out from the wound in the décor.
Balina simply stood there while she waited for the crashing, smashing, and steady stream of apologies to go quiet. “About darn time…”
NEXT
Description courtesy of
MannothSo! This story was written over a period of six weeks, one stream a week, with copious amounts of silly and help from those who stopped regularly by my streams! Heck. I mean, the regulars of said streams star in this story after all! It took a hell of a long time but it is done! Thanks to all of you who showed up and especially big thanks to
Mannoth
KingDead
RWolf5
Balina
V_D_O
march-dragonNEXT
The Pitfalls of Pokefusion
By: RaddaRaem
Hands shoved into his brown corduroy pockets, Radda arched his brow. The musical chirps of the stealthy Kriketots lurking in the tall grass and buzzes and bees of the Ledyba bumbling about in the warm summer air drowned out the low hum of the generators lining the building he was deigned to housesit. “Bill’s house, huh?” He tapped a black keratin fingertip against the creaking wooden sign that announced whose domicile he had bumbled upon. It reluctantly swung back and forth upon its rusted hinges. A worried bahh slipped forth from his blue furred muzzle when a frightened Spinarak plopped down from the wooden fixture’s backside and skittered into the knee high vegetation.
The Mareep turned his head side to side. Perched up high atop a grassy hill he looked down to the quaint wooden bridge at its base that lead back to Cerulean city. Pocked by crisscrossing canals that sparkled in the sunlight, the city’s polished marble buildings all but blinded him. Blinking rapidly he turned his attention back to the… anomaly before him. An outpost was the best word that came to mind when he gazed upon the structure. Steel shutters layered along its side like wooden paneling. Reinforced bulletproof windows. A rounded roof embedded with solar panels. Whoever this Bill was made little to no effort to blend into his surroundings. “Dangit Celia, he’s your uncle. Why can’t you be doing this?”
Bleating nervously as he tread along the gravel path leading up to the front door, nervously kicking at and shooing away the far too curious Caterpies and Weedles, his hooved feet gently tread up to the front door. A gray slab of metal stood before him. Where he would have liked to have seen a handle or a knob was instead a keypad. “I can only imagine this is supposed to keep out people like me,” he grumbled out loud while he fished a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. Various keytones sounded out as his fingers typed out the prescribed password.
PASSWORD: ACCEPTED
A monotonous mechanical monotone sounded out as mists of cooled air hissed from the unbolted door. With a cacophonous creak, metal grinding agonizingly against metal, the slab of steel simply slid away into the wall. “Alright so what’s next…” Radda read aloud as he stepped through the rectangular gap in the wall. His wool crackled with electricity when the door slid back into place behind him.
He kept his eyes dipped downwards on his hastily scribbled out instructions before. Crumbling it up between his fingers he tucked it into the wooly tufts of his puffy chest. His hand remained shoved deep into the wavy curls of egg-white wool while he fished out another item.
POKEDEX
POKEMON
ITEM
RADDAREEP
SAVE
OPTION
EXIT
“There we go!” Bahhing contentedly the Mareep procured a letter from the ITEM slot tucked deep in his wool. Those bright eyes of his dipped low against their sockets, he kept their curious gaze away from all of the no doubt priceless equipment lining the tables and tucked away into the transparent cupboards lining the sterile white walls.
“Greetings faux-nephew!
The name’s Bill. There’s really no way to pen this introduction without sounding stuffy or awkward as heck so I’ll just dig right into it! My niece can’t stop gushing about you, and given that both she and I will be touring Silph Co. for the next week, she made sure to drop hint after hint about how I would be at perfect ease were I to leave the welfare of my lab to yours truly. So! Here’s a helpful list of to-do’s I’d very much appreciate your assistance with.
1. Water the Lotads out front. I have no idea how they managed to wander so far from the Cerulean waterways but they’re cute little buggers all the same. I usually just drag out the hose from the side of the house and turn it on full blast. They’ll come waddling along full speed in no time looking for a good hosing down.
2. Kick out any Ledyba you find collecting along the insides of the windows. No clue how those big bastards keep finding their way in but Arceus do I hate those obnoxious albeit adorable things. Give the place a patrol at the beginning and end of each day. No basement or second story to worry about. You’ll know they’re there if you hear some tunking or bee-bee-beeing against the windows. Should be a breeze for you with a well-placed Thunderwave!
3. Please please please help yourself! Celia’s shapeliness runs in the family and I’ve been doing an awful job sticking to my diet. By all means feel free to clear out the fridge! What isn’t there when I get back will be one less thing to tempt me.
4. Finally, don’t fuss or fret about playing around in my lab! I actually wouldn’t mind some user feedback for some new devices I’ve been poking and prodding at. There’s an antiquated telephone booth nestled in the corner of the living room and a... I still haven’t found a good way to describe what the thing looks like. The walk-in shower looking thing plopped in the middle of my office. Why not see if you can suss out what they are capable of?
That and, worse comes to worse, I can revert the save state of the place to exactly the way it was prior to my trip to Saffron. So hey, no harm done. If you need anything at all, feel free to call me at GOOD-EEVEENING! Or 4-663-338-336-464!
Thanks again and looking forward to meeting you!
Bill”
“That doesn’t seem so bad… is what I would say if I didn’t expect that to end disastrously.” Smirking to himself, the Mareep opted not to openly invite disaster. Stuffing the letter back into his wool he took to quietly showing himself around Bill’s digs. The sterile walls and immaculately kept tiles, stretching on towards a bleak looking office on the left and to an open air laboratory on the right, gave way to hardwood floors. “Business up front and party out back huh?” Radda mused to himself while he grinned at the lavish leather couches spread out before him. Where a wall probably should have been was instead an imposing television set. Situated a ways back even further was a well-stocked kitchen adorned with granite shelves and tables.
“I probably really shouldn’t,” Radda thought aloud as he entertained the temptation. Tucked behind a couch, just like Bill said, was an utterly ancient booth that looked to have been ripped straight of a 1990’s Pokemon center. A cracked and fraying LCD screen with a brick of a phone resting against its side. He winced at the coat of grime along the receiver’s garish green handle and the crusted over keyboard sitting in front of it. Well. It was either this or fend off the bugs. Or those weird-lilypad things. Puffing his cheeks out he bahhed and tugged the piece of plastic older than he was off its receiver. The screen promptly flickered to life. “What the?”
To his sheepy shock the latest and greatest version of Regiskype booted up. Albeit all pixelated and fuzzy. A blocky Registeel wobbled back and forth upon the screen. Curiosity aroused, Radda tapped on the Steel-type’s representation. The screen chugged along as it zoomed in on the seven red dots comprising the creature’s face. Said dots flared in intensity as their uniform red surface populated with the avatars of the Mareep’s most frequent contacts on the chat service.
-Regiskype Help
-KingDead
-Balina
-Alex
-March
-Rwolf
-Mannoth
Brow flattened, the only thing that came to mind was why the hell it knew to log in with his credentials. Bahhh. He’d flail and bother at that faux-uncle Eevee of his later. Hmm… it looked like Balina was online! The background of the moof’s avatar flicked to green in color to indicate her active online presence. With a boop the electric sheep poked at her avatar and a new conversation window opened up. Before he could so much as type out a message though the grimy keyboard at his rock-hard fingertips clacked away. Sparks harmlessly fitzed out from the side of the booth while the screen went black. A command prompt overwhelmed the screen.
Archiving latitude and longitude coordinates of conversation participants…
Launching AbraAir.exe…
“Ummm…” Hands at his sides the Mareep was uncertain how to act. He simply blinked and continued to observe the screen. A low hum kicked off from the monitor that was now actively radiating heat.
Relocating contact “Balina” to current coordinates…
Conversation shall commence in 0.4 seconds…
Eyes bulging, the Mareep bleated and – WUMF. …And he groaned as he lay flopped out on the ground with a moof atop him. The mass of limbs and fluff atop him sank gently in Radda’s poofy form while both parties acclimated themselves to the abrupt bout of socialization forced upon them. “Hi Balina.”
“Cranial capacities rebooting,” a pleasant feminine voice sounded out. Balina oofed and moofed while her mechanical arms whirred about in their sockets. “All active conversations have ceased as internet connection has been lost.” Bips of blue light escaped from LEDs embedded into moof’s mechanical arms while the rudimentary AI continued to speak aloud.
Eys squinted shut, Balina pressed all four of her hands against the ground. “Computer, identify cause of disruption.” The harder she pressed herself off the surface beneath her the louder the wheezing of air and bahhing became. “Addendum. Computer, prioritize determining the cause of this bahhing noise.” The moof squeezed and scrunched her fingers at the warm soft surface. It was so puffy and pleasant and light whatever it was!
“Baaaaahhhhhlina!” Grumping, Radda flailed his nubby arms at the moof bearing down on him.
“Not now Radda, I’m sciencing!” She poked and pushed and prodded at this alien and intriguing landscape, drawing out ever more bahhs and bleats while she did so. Her limbs beeped repeatedly once a thorough analysis had been performed. Tapping at a wrought iron wrist the moof watched on impatiently as the metal fingers retracted into her broad metallic palm. It expanded noticeably as a black film spread across its surface and a video feed clicked to life. Sine curves deriving from multiple auditory sources were overlapped upon one another until a perfect match was found.
SOURCE CONFIRMED - MAREEP
Balina frowned. Well now that can’t be- “Oh. Wait. Reep what are you doing down there? Huh well no wonder your auditory cries were a peculiarly perfect match for this.”
“Hello to you too,” Radda grumped. Fingers wrapped tight around a couch leg he tried to pull himself free from under her the cowolf’s impassive form. He groaned when she remained firmly plopped upon his soft and puffy frame. “You can get off me now.”
Wasting no time Balina immediately relaunched her lost conversations. She dragged a fluffy finger across her mechanical palm’s touchscreen and poked to relaunch Regiskype.
“Moof!”
“Hmmm? Oh. Very well.” Rising to her feet, she brushed off the stray strands of wool caught in the sockets of her prosthetic limbs. “Mind explaining why I’m here? Or better yet why you saw fit to embed a digitalized teleportation command into my Regiskype client and remotely activate it? …Or how you did that now that I think about. The embedding and the conversion of such a thing into bytes of data parts, specifically.”
Radda rolled his shoulders side to side and stretched his back. “Beats me.” He exhaled through his nose dismissively while the moof rolled her eyes at him. “Look. The guy I’m housesitting for encouraged me to play around with some of his experiments. Which sounds terrible in retrospect but… I really don’t know why I thought this was a good idea to be honest.”
Intrigued, Balina shook her mechanical arm until it returned to its original dimensions. Flicking her fingers, both the prosthetic and the flesh and fluff kind, dozens of sensors flared to life along her artificial digits. “You don’t say… Mind if I help myself? I mean, it’s the least you can do to make up for interrupting my studies.”
Mouth gone flat the Mareep bleated at her. “You’re still in your pajamas.”
“…So. I was studying the… sleep cycles. Of the dread cowolf.”
Rolling his eyes, Radda merely pointed back at the entrance. “Just keep walking until it gets all sterile and blindingly bright. Should be an office to your right. With some sort of walk-in showery thing?” He shrugged and shooed her off. Ever so timidly he pranced back up to the phone booth. Squinting his eyes he turned his attention towards RegiSkype once more.
Balina’s icon flashed. The lime green circle that enveloped her avatar faded in brightness. It took on a subdued grassy green hue that gave way to the deepest darkest blues that haunted the ocean depths. Her status switched from ‘Available’ to ‘Physically Present.’
“Hrmmm… maybe later,” the Mareep mulled aloud to himself while carefully distanced himself from the machine. Besides. No one else was even online yet! He could fiddle with it later at his leisure.
Hooves clacking softly against the tiled floor, Balina tiptoed over errant bundles of fiberoptic cables and disheveled notebooks as she made her way into Bill’s office. The transition from debilitating cleanliness to technological treasure trove of garbage was abrupt if anything. “Snrrk. Whoever runs this joint is about as organized as I am. Makes me feel right at home!” The moof pressed her shoulder into a broad oak desk all but blocking further passage off to the side. Countless cables and wires coiled around its stubby wooden legs when she did so. “So this is what the Reep was talking about…”
She brought a paw up to her chin and papped at it in pondering. Before her stood a glass cylinder capped with a plastic dome. Plastic veins extended out from it to the ceiling and portable generators humming quietly along the furthest walls. Of their own volition her prosthetic limbs whirred to life and made jazz hands at the two computer monitors embedded along its sides. Both of her metal wrists rotated about themselves to reveal blackened monitors that popped to life with a crackle of static. Lines of white text noisily populated their compressed real estate and hurriedly identified the systems, databases, and power sources each piece of machinery was powered by.
“Hmmm. They’re… duplicates of one another. Same make, same model. Call upon the same store of information even. Strange.” Balina tread forward and plopped a fuzzy finger against the nearest monitor seeing as how no keyboards had the mind to present themselves. Not even amongst the refuse littering the floor!
BWUMP
Both monitors gradually nudged themselves to life as, pixel by pixel, they illuminated themselves. A drab khaki colored screen, punctuated by a bright red Pokeball symbol, revealed itself to the moof. The screen darkened while the software on display chugged and heaved. Letter by agonizing letter made itself manifest along the top of the screen.
SELECT FIRST POKEMORPH
Beneath the Pokeball, blocks of green gushed across the screen. When the tide settled and the pixels were washed away a striking set of sprites remained. Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, and Venusaur gently bounced up and down as blindingly white numerals appeared above them.
“A Pokedex?” Balina arched a brow and dragged her finger along the screen to the right. Whirrs and puffs of hot air billowed out from the sides of the screen but after a couple second delay a new set of sprites displayed themselves.
719 – Diancie
720 – Hoopa
721 - Volcanion
The moof’s eyebrows flattened and rose up along her forehead. “Every Pokemorph known to currently exist. Not bad.” Curiosity aroused, she swiped a padded finger to the left repeatedly. A blur of colors flew across the screen, much too fast for any individual sprites to be made out. Slowly the individual ‘Mons came into focus as the numbers ticked up into the two hundred range. “210, 220, 230…” Balina mouthed aloud as she impatiently awaited one of her favorite sprites to flit across the screen. “238… 239… 240… Aww come on.” She mooed quietly and gently dragged a digit an inch or so to the left along the fading screen. “241! There.” The moof hmmed and nodded in delight as a pink and pudgy Miltank contentedly hopped up and down upon the screen. She reached out to pap a finger against the screen to confirm her choice when a sudden series of beeps interrupted her.
NOD. CONFIRMED.
MILTANK SELECTED
“Oh! Facial recognition even.” Balina rubbed her mechanical hands together as she continued to be pleasantly surprised. A soothing green hue overcame the monitor as the sprites locked up and froze in place.
CONFIRM SECOND CHOICE ON ACCOMPANYING TERMINAL
Slow rhythmic chirps sounded out from the screen adorning the other side of the cylinder. “Nothing if not user friendly,” the moof grunted aloud as she made the arduous effort of plodding a half-dozen steps to the next stage of her experiment. “The things I do for science!” She grunted aloud as she impatiently tapped a hoof against the floor waiting for the next phase of this machine’s machinations to whirr to life. Her foot whumped gently against a haphazard arrangement of wires bundled together with twist-ties.
SELECT SECOND POKEMORPH
Balina sighed after mulling over the minutes it took for that simple message to load. “Second huh? Well… hmm.” Her four arms draped to her side. “The whole point of having a favorite is to be able to settle on one and one alone. Darn you, tyranny of choice! I thought to have slain you once and here you are resurrected and powerful as ever!” The moof playfully gnashed her teeth at the artificially lit sky before cocking her head to the side. “Guess we’ll see what jumps out at me!” With that, she all but swatted at the screen and sent the roulette of sprites rocketing across the screen. Balina’s eyes lazily danced back and forth across the screen until something caused them to nearly bulge out of their sockets. The flow of colors and information screeched to a halt in response.
“YOUUUUUUUUU.”
A Bellsprout sprite, happily bobbing to and fro under the shade of the number 69, greeted her.
“NOT YOU. YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”
The Grass-Type representation was flung off screen while a Machamp took front and center and proudly flexed under a hovering 68.
“YES. GOD YES.” She all but slammed a hand against the monitor and commanded it to glow green in affirmation.
RAPTURE. CONFIRMED.
MACHAMP SELECTED
Once more a repeated series of beeps sounded out. The moof’s ears flit about as the crackle and hum of electricity loudly coursed through the black plastic arteries feeding into the device from above. Puffs and hisses of steam escaped from where glistening grey electrical tape mashed bundles of circuitry together.
PLEASE ENTER CHAMBER
In fits and spurts the glass dome rose towards the ceiling where the plastic cap covering it pressed firmly against the mess of wiring dangling above. Dipping down low, Balina threw caution into the wind and stood within the cylinder’s center. Her grey furred soles stomped excitedly against the exposed tile while she swatted and smacked at her mechanical limbs that flailed about and sounded off alarm after alarm.
PRESENCE REGISTERED
LOWERING CHAMBER
Balina wiggled excitedly as unknown after unknown assailed her scientific mind. The glass tinked loudly when it was lowered back down against the floor. So this was a rash if not poorly thought out course of action. So she had no idea what the consequences of said actions might be. So she might end up like Jeff Goldblum. BUT MAH GAWD. Those arms! Those glorious hulknormous arms! All four of them even! She couldn’t NOT be a part of that.
INITIATING FUSION
A blinding light and radiating heat engulfed the moof as the generators adorning the far walls screeched and pulsed with intensity. Sparks and crackles of electricity leapt from one to the other and snaked their way up to the nest of wires that fed into the top of the Bill’s nebulous contraption.
CREATING MILCHAMP
Humming to himself, Radda flicked his wrist to and fro. The green hose in his hand, cutely patterned after Raquaza with streaks and dashes of reds and yellows, blurbled and gurgled a steady stream of water. A flock of Lotads waddled excitedly at his feet and walked in and out of the Reep-made waterfall. “You are adorable little lily…pad… things, aren’t you?” the Mareep giggled to himself.
One by one he capped off the tops of their wilting yellowing lilypads with water. Liquid refreshment sloshing to and fro atop their heads, the plant membranes adorning those peculiar Grass and Water-type’s noggins stiffened and came alive as the sunshine yellows gave way to lime green! Content and happy, the Lotads wandered off into the brush at their own leisurely pace.
“That wasn’t too bad!” First chore completed, the Reep sauntered off towards the side of Bill’s home. Every so often he sprayed and swatted at a Yanma that buzzed worryingly close. When that proved insufficient, a grumpy bleat sounded out from his sheepy snoot and arcs of static crackled along his wool. The Bug and Flying Type quickly fled. “Freaking bugs…” Radda all but shuddered when he cranked the faucet shut and rolled the Rayquaza themed hose up.
“YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”
Rumbling bellows and muted flashes of light worryingly sounded out through the dense bulletproof windows punched into the side of Bill’s home. Heat radiated off the steel shingles immediately surrounding the plexiglass rectangle offering a sneakpeek into the Eevee’s office.
“...Time for the next chore.” Ignoring the shenanigans as hard as he could, the Mareep shoved a hand deep into his wooly chest and plucked out the letter from his faux-uncle. “No. No no no surely there’s something else I can do outside!” His eyes scanned up and down along the list looking for a way to shirk off and shake free the silliness no doubt brewing inside. Radda’s mind buzzed at the… wait was that his mind? He bahhed softly as the buzzing continued unabated. “Ack!”
To his surprise a consternation, a Combee gently bapped into the Mareep’s yellow shirted self and hovered curiously around the flower colored not-flower.
“Shoo!” Radda bleated worriedly at the Bug-type. It bopped and bapped into him unabated. “Shoo shoo shoo shoo!” He grumped as he took to prancing to escape the buzzy busybody of a bee. Undeterred, the Combee took chase and followed the Reep as he made laps around the property in a poorly thought out bid to evade it.
All four hands, all four fleshy pink-furred hands, resting upon her hips, Balina patiently waited out the glass chamber’s ascendance as a manic grin adorned her face. It remained plastered upon her face even as the Milchamp’s newfound udders dragged and squeaked noisily against the curved glass. Strings of vowels tumbled forth from her pink fuzzed maw as coherent thought failed her.
“HEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Balina wrapped every limb about her chest and hugged herself tight. Stepping forth from the chamber, her jiggly udder capped belly wobbled to and fro. “Just look at me!” She struck a pose and flexed her bloated and swollen biceps. Black keratin fingertips curled against her pink palms while her body bulged with muscle. “Science is awesome! I AM AWESOME,” the Milchamp mooed triumphantly. Tail swishing behind her, the black capped ball that adorned it bobbed to and fro. Biting into her bottom lip, Balina’s multiple limbs took to exploring her new body.
“Oooh there are my horns!” She mooed in delight as her fingers twiddled against the pointed white cones poking out of the top of her head. “And my big ol floppy ears!” Another set of arms thumbed at the soft black fuzz that coated the ears that stuck out from the side of her skull. “Then of course there’s the main attraction…” A toothy grin spread wide across her muzzle, Balina’s upper set of limbs high-fived the lower ones.
Delighted as the former moof was with her transformation, pressing questions remained. Her scientific mind chugged once more. “Hrrmmm… now wonderful as this is… am I Milchamp because I chose Miltank then Machamp? Would Machamp then Miltank yield the same desirable results? Or would I instead become Matank? Hmmhmm.” Balina stroked at her chin thoughtfully. She couldn’t very well risk undoing this mooriffic miracle that had visited her! And besides. As a good and proper scientist she would need to start fresh. New data points. Control groups. The works!
She paced back and forth before the marvelous machine. “As far as controls go… Radda will work just fine! He can remain his sheepy self. Yes yes… his mental state will be quite useful as a reference point. Wooly and content to remain as he is and probably not enamored or obsessed with this miracle-maker like I am!” Balina steepled her fingers together and grinned. “…I’m only a lot a bit crazy but it’s okay so long as I admit it! SO! Where will I find more data points…” The Milchamp took to bouncing up and down on the balls of her soles. “Ah! That’s right!” Snapping a good four fingers together at the same time, she stormed off towards the lavish living room. Her hooves alternated between thunderous clacks and muffled thumps as tile, hardwood floor, and carpeting shifted and churned beneath her feet.
“If Radda was able to summon me forth via RegiSkype,” giggling manically Balina all but rushed to the beaten down booth stuffed in the corner, “What’s stopping me from doing the same?” Her eyes narrowed when she observed that the Mareep’s session was still open and free to interact with. “Offline, offline, offline… noooooo! Dammit Radda’s friends get your asses online!” The Milchamp clenched her fists and shuddered. Augh what was she going do without
RWolf5 is now Online
Balina gasped deeply as fate smiled down upon her and one of the Mareep’s friends had the poor misfortune to decide to be social today. Even though her previous analysis of the AbraAir executable proved that initiating a conversation wasn’t actually necessary, the Milchamp indulged in the effort anyway. One hand poking at the screen and two others clacking away at the keyboard, she slammed off a message to the unsuspecting red panda.
“AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A POKEMON PARTY BECAUSE A POKEMON PARTY IS ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY.”
Cackling madly or… well. More like mooing with insidious intent, somehow parsing out how to cram more than a dozen syllables into a single moo, Balina clapped her pink palms together.
“Mooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo! MOOOOOOOO! Moo.” The Milchamp cleared her throat and composed herself as the AbraAir executable loaded up on the screen and belted out one line of code after another.
Relocating contact “RWolf5” to current coordinates…
Conversation shall commence in 0.7 seconds…
Hulknormous arms held out to her sides, Balina trapped the projectile panda that came wailing out of the monitor in a crushing hug. “Name’s Balina!” She bellowed as she hoisted her latest data point err… experiment… acquaintance. Yes. That. Latest acquaintance held high above her head, two hands clutching at his shoulders and the other two around his thick thighs, the Milchamp immediately struck up a conversation. “You and me? We’re going to science together!”
The red panda ummed worriedly while she jiggled him back and forth and actively transported… kidnapped… you know what transported wasn’t that bad a choice of words to be honest. “I-I’m Jesse. And confused, to be honest.” Ringed tail flopping down against the back of his legs, rings of rust and white colored fur punctuating his fluffy limb, Jesse remained locked in dumb shock as he was hurriedly whisked through a strange and alien environment.
“Awww, don’t be! You’ve simply been transported to some shindig Radda is housesitting via the magic of a hacked instant messenger! Also, we’re going to see what you look like with a little Machamp in you. Wait, no. Never. Machoke is plenty.” Balina briefly flexed her arms and let those bulging biceps, rippling pink mountains of muscle, chafe against one another. They were to be hers and hers alone.
Jesse’s teal eyes bounced worriedly back and forth between his sockets when he took in the sights and sounds passing him by. He stared down at his captor’s hooved feet and watched them clack against planks of polished wood, sterile tiles, and finally knotted weaves of wires. “So. Um. You know Radda?” The mention of the wooly Mareep calmed him a marginal amount.
“Sure do!” She turned towards one of the thick transparent windows motioned towards it with a nod of her head. Tall tufts of grass swayed gently in the wind and the subdued chirps and cheeps of Bug-Types and Flying-Types alike could be heard through it. Along with a drawn out bleat that steadily rose in intensity.
“BAHHHHHHHHHH!” Prancing for all he was worth, the Reepest of sheeps zipped by the window into the outside world. Green stalks and fledging berry bushes were tugged towards him and then pushed away by the wall of wind carried along by his wooly form. A deafening buzz sounded out shortly after as a cloud of Combees buzzed on after him.
“He’s a little preoccupied right now as you can see.” Balina set the red panda down before Bill’s Pokefusion chamber and nodded sagely. “Anywho! What kinda Pokemon do you wanna be? Your choices are Machoke and… everything else.”
Laughing nervously, the red panda leaned back and meeped as he felt a wall of glass press against him. He timidly tiptoed forward only to be gently pushed back by a wall of limbs. “I… say again? I’m sorry but this is all happening so fast!” Another bahh could be heard through the window as the Mareep completed another lap around Bill’s house.
Balina crossed her arms about her chest and tutted. “I suppose it can’t be helped! I am dragging you into this blind, after all.” The Milchamp leaned forward and plopped a thick black keratin finger against the touch monitor to Jesse’s left. The liquid crystals inside the screen flattened under her touch and muted colors, courtesy of some smished sprites, spilled out from beneath her digit. “Kidnapping aside, this glorious device is a Pokemon Fusion chamber!” Her lower set of arms drummed against the chamber excitedly. “Whatcha do is select two Pokemon from, well, all of them. Step into the chamber. And boosh! Out you step a newly minted Pokemon. An entirely new Pokemon in fact!”
Jesse oohed as his posture straightened and his eyes lit up. Dubious circumstances aside he had to admit his curiosity was piqued.
“Now you look like a Machoke man, am I right? Of course I’m right. Say I’m right.” Balina went ahead and dragged a finger along the lefthand monitor and selected for him. “What we need to suss out now is what your new other half will be! Any ideas there?”
Rubbing at his thick fuzzy chin, the red panda hmmmed aloud. “I doooo like mice. Especially the Electric kind! Pikachu or Raichu would be nice!” Giggling shyly, Jesse clasped his fingers together and got to pondering.
Bouncing impatiently and mooing all the while, Balina painfully waited for him to make up his mind. Back and forth she flipped between #25 and #26 on the screen to his right. Yellows and Oranges burned themselves into the screen as the Milchamp swirled between Pikachu and Raichu.
“I choose… Pikachu!” Grin spread wide upon his face, Jesse set his hands upon his wide soft hips and nodded proudly. He winced when a hiss of steam and the whirr of electric motors rumbled just behind him.
PLEASE ENTER CHAMBER
Jesse acked as Balina all but shoved him in.
PRESENCE REGISTERED
LOWERING CHAMBER
“H-hey!” Fists tunking gently against the glass, Jesse’s brows furrowed. “I will be able to go back to normal after this, right?”
Balina tossed all four arms up into a shrug. “Iunno!” A wicked grin spread wide across the Miltank-Machamp fusion’s face as purple and blue arcs of electricity cascaded down the side of the glass entrapment. “Oh you’ll be fine!” She assured the red panda as he worriedly pounded against the glass and his body bulged up and out. “Probably.”
Crackles and hums lashed out at the air in fits and spurts while Balina turned her back on the work in progress. Mindful of the fact that she had chosen Miltank and THEN Machamp she wasn’t entirely surprised by the naming conventions. Or that the cow part of her had been given precedence over everything else. But it was still something that needed to be rigorously tested! Would it hold true for Jesse, she wondered? “Machu would establish a pattern for naming conventions. A yellow furred Machoke sporting crackling red cheeks would be… unsettling. But not entirely unexpected! Hrmm. Or would it be a more along the lines of a purple Pikachu bearing some of the Fighting-Type’s buff and toughness?” Leaning forward, her eyes focused intently on the screens at the fusion chamber’s sides.
CREATING MACHU
“HA! I knew it!” Wiggling her tail side to side, her pencil-thin limb topped with a black ball of fuzz, the Milchamp mooed and woohooed in victory. Two data points wasn’t definitive by any stretch of the imagination but it was certainly a strong start! “Tell me, Jesse.” Deep and baritone groans could be heard from within the glass chamber as the light within faded. Slowly, ever so slowly, the device ascended towards the ceiling. A yellow-furred figure stumbled forth once it had cleared its head. “How do you feel?”
The newly minted Machu let out a syrupy rich grunt while thick yellow furred fingers scratched at newly formed abdominals. “I feel… strong! Well. Silly, mostly.” Standing head and shoulders above the Milchamp, the for the most part Pikachu had bloated with impossible amounts of muscle. Nearly as thick as he was tall, the Pikachu bore little resemblance to the Fighting-type he derived half of his very essence from. Save for a broad flat muzzle and locks of hair that coiled into dreadlocks atop his skull he looked the part of a Pikachu! One that just happened to be utterly hulknormous and averse to clothing. His red cheeks flaring up in embarrassment with sparks of static he looked down at his shredded shirt and shortest of shorts that struggled to cling tight to his swollen frame. “You wouldn’t happen to have a change of clothes in XXL sitting around, would you?”
Balina ground her flat teeth against one another and harrumphed. She still had the arms advantage and that’s what mattered at the very least. Darn musclebound Machu stealing her thunder. Another bleat, this one somewhat tired, carried through the closed windows. “Don’t know and don’t care. If you’ll excuse me I’ve got a couple more trials to run…” With a sulking moo, the Milchamp stomped off and out of the office back to the RegiSkype terminal.
“O-okay. I’ll just… I’ll just see what the sheepyreep is up to.” Timidly, Jesse flattened a veritable crossroads of wiring under this thick paws as he scurried out of the office. “If I can find him that is!” He corrected himself while he plodded right past the front door and found himself hopelessly lost in Bill’s bunker of a building.
Panting furiously and sweat dripping from his brow, Radda’s blue tinged fur and yellow wool roiled furiously with electricity. Smoke wafted off of the crunchy honeycomb forms of the now retreating swarm of Combees. “Bahhh, enough of this!” Shaking his head side to side he resolved to suck it up and confront the silliness that was bound to be waiting for him. He inhaled deeply through his sheepy snoot upon approaching the front door. Limb trembling, he punched in the necessary digits into the keypad by Bill’s front door. With every beep and boop he bit down harder on his bottom lip until finally, agonizingly, it slid open and a cool wave of air-conditioned… air, gushed past him.
“Balina? You still there?” No response. The Mareep cautiously made his way inside and silence was there to greet him. “I can’t tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing that it isn’t immediately obvious what that moof is up to,” he thought aloud with a slumping of his shoulders. He decided against waiting around for that question to answer itself. Shoving a hand into the hammerspace that was the puffs and tufts of wool adorning his chest, Radda produced Bill’s letter one last time. “Let’s see. The last chore on here was… patrol for Ledybas. That seems simple enough!” Weight resting upon one leg, the sheep tipped forward and snuck a peek at Bill’s lab. Not a Bug-type in sight cluttered along the windows. “Oh thank Arceus,” he bleated aloud before prancing off in the opposite direction to complete his survey.
“Hail citizen! How can I help youOOOF!” The spandex covered wolf had the wind knocked out of him as Balina all but dragged him out of the messaging terminal and towards her desired destination. “T-trickery! You’re not the sheepy who bahhed and bleated out for saving! What have you done with him, you fiend?!”
Rolling her eyes, the Milchamp tightened her grip around the wolf’s ankles and pulled him ever forward. “You’re right, I’m not. But you can help me!”
Wrinkles formed along the gray wolf’s forehead. “How? You’re being nothing if sneaky about asking for it! State your game, villain! That and how the heck did you shrink me.”
“Shrink? That wasn’t me that was AbraAir doing its thing. Compressing people into as few bits of data as possible to teleport them whenever, wherever, in tenths of a second is kind of its gig. Anyway. You can help me by answering a spoken… survey. Of sorts.” Whatever kind of hero this canine fashioned himself to be, he had proven foolish enough to reveal his status as ‘Available’ on RegiSkype. That’s all the mattered to Balina. “So, KingDead. What would you say are your favorite Pokemon?”
He winced as the back of his head tunked against a series of steps. “Ooof! Hmmm… not like any of my super-secret codewords hail back to my days as a would-be Pokemon trainer. I guesssssss I can tell you.” KingDead grumped as his red cape dragged behind him and collected all sorts of dust and dirt. “I’ll have you know that I was a world-class Arcanine and Ursaring trainer back in the day! Team of six? Ha!” Hearty laughter bellowed out from his broad and chiseled chest. “Hoenn was easy pickings for someone as strong and courageous as me with but a team of two! Alas…” He sighed and brought a forearm up to his forehead. “Before my professional career could take off I was thrust into the world of superheroics by an utterly implausible yet equally awesome origin story!”
“Arcanine and Ursaring. Got it,” Balina mumbled. She hmmmed aloud as her gaze flit to and fro. There was no sign of that showoff Machu. “Suppose it’s not all THAT unexpected to think I would be the only one obsessed with pushing and poking at the limits and inherent logic governing this thing. Don’t get to be a headmoof err… Milchamp otherwise!” she thought to herself. Loosening her grip, Kingdead’s paws plopped to the floor with a loud thud. A pained oof sounded out when his heels whacked loudly against the now cracked tiles.
Harrumphing and coughing, repeatedly and loudly, into Balina’s floppy ears the wolf rose to his feet. How rude! “Do you require any more help, villain? Err… suspicious cow civilian.” With a dash of distrust Kingdead’s facemask creased with wrinkles. “Usually this is the part where any member of my rogue’s gallery would proudly proclaimed how they have tricked me or trapped me!” Ever vigilant, the wolf circled about in place and scanned for any obvious traps. No anvils hanging from the ceiling. No off-colored tiles to indicate trap doors. No obnoxiously bright or big buttons. Hmm. If this mooing malefactor was up to no good she certainly hid her hand well!
Balina twiddled her black rock-hard fingers against her pink and fuzzy chin. Now how best to go about this. Well… given her luck with naming conventions it would be best to pursue that further and confirm her hypothesis. Though that would require making certain that her next subject committed to one of the same Pokemon that this spandex silly did! “Yeah yeah you’ve been nothing if not helpful,” she replied with a dismissive wave of one of her hands.
“R-really?!” KingDead’s thick grey tail swished side to side in delight. “Would you be willing to put that in writing?” Dusting off his supersuit, the wolf excitedly fumbled through the compartments on his utility belt. “See…” he laughed nervously. “I maaaay have been kicked out from certain Super Leagues in times past given err… ummm… questionable complaints about my professionalism and penchant for devastating property damage. If I can get enough citizens to vouch that my superheroics are neither life-threatening nor destructive they’ll let me back in!” Bouncing up and down on the balls of his paws he all but shoved the fine print and a ballpoint pen at her.
She oofed and mooed as paper and pen papped against her. “Ah, that’s right!” Balina mused with great difficulty as she swatted at the pushy poking wolf. “There was an entry for VDO on Radda’s RegiSkype wasn’t there? Moohoohoo…” The Milchamp steeped her fingers as she plotted. “That Arcanine obsessed saberyena will be perfect for-”
“Please please please please please!!!” KingDead arfed and arooed and pleaded.
The Milchamp grunted when the wolf slipped a crumpled piece of paper and plastic between her digits. “Fine. But!” Rolling her eyes, she signed off on the dotted line without even bothering to read it. “In exchange for my signature, I need your help once more.”
“Certainly, citizen!” Hands resting upon his hips, KingDead struck a valiant pose as the air conditioner kicked on overhead. His cape fluttered majestically behind him. “How may I be of assistance?” Pinching the precious pen and paper between his padded fingertips he deposited them back into the depths of his utility belt.
Arms stretched out, Balina’s fingers swished and swooshed at the touch screens lining the sides of the chamber.
ARCANINE SELECTED
PLEASE SELECT-
URSARING SELECTED
“If you’d be so kind…” The Milchamp stepped to the side and ushered KingDead towards the now exposed inner workings of the chamber. Squeaking against the wires, the glass cylinder rose up into the ceiling. “To just… stand right here? Without moving?”
A grumpy bark slipped free from the wolf’s muzzle. “That’s a trap if I ever heard of one!” Flares of red overtook his grey cheeks. “Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me more than once… well, stop that!” He stomped a paw against the floor, mismatched and knotted bundles of wire coiling through his toes, and stood his ground.
PLEASE ENTER CHAMBER
“Never, you fiend!” Turning his nose up at the Milchamp he whirled about in place only to ensnare his ankles in a coiled mess of wires that hummed with electric warmth. “Wh-whoah!” He yelled as he teetered and tottered off balance. The bundle of cords tugged down at his legs and caused KingDead to stumble backwards. Flailing his arms wildly, he fell back onto a circular set of scorched tiles that depressed under his weight.
LOWERING CHAMBER
Balina arched her brows while she watched the glass plunk back down. “That was easy,” she smirked to herself with a shrug of her shoulders. “And this time… I am gonna guess Arcaring.”
CREATING ARCARING
“Mmmfff. I’m good.” The Milchamp pounded four fists against her chest and hmmed contentedly.
Sitting down and arms curled around his knees, KingDead snorted loudly through his wet black nose. “Least I didn’t walk into a trap this time…” He huffed as a blinding light and warmth overtook him. Crackles of electricity sputtered out from the device and arced along the floor towards the Milchamp.
“Hey now!” She danced about, hooves clopping loudly against the floor, as the roiling energy shifted hues between blues and green and lashed out at the air surrounding the chamber. Pops punctuated the room as tiny hairline cracks formed in the glass. “That’s new… Though. Then again perhaps this thing wasn’t built with rapid and repeated use in mind.” She shook her head side to side and sighed. Hopefully it would hold out long enough for the Milchamp to test out her theories on the naming conventions of the fusions at the very least! “No telling whether or not this’ll impact the end results in and of themselves,” Balina hrmmed while she bit into her lip. Best leave that for another time.
“What… what have you done to me, you cow craven!” A deep and rumbly voice bellowed out from within the steam that radiated off the machine. A stocky silhouette, replete with arms and legs that could be mistaken for tree trunks in terms of thickness, lumbered forth. Strained whirrs sounded the glass rose in fits and spurts from the now ashen ring embedded into the tiles. “You… you… you changed my costume!” Grring and grumping, KingDead stepped forth to boop the Milchamp. His broad black doggy nose bumped her back with ease. “I worked so hard on it and now… hmmph!” Broad and bulky arms crossed about his chest, the Arcaring pouted.
A form fitting chest piece, comprised of equal parts green and red spandex, stretched down from the Pokefusion’s neck down to just below his bloated pectorals. His thick and fluffy black belly lay exposed for all to see with a cream colored ring of fur circled around its taut and heaving surface. KingDead’s shorts remained unchanged, save for a larger hole for his now exponentially thicker and fluffier tail and the tears forming in the fabric that struggled to stretch over the circumference of his mega muscular thighs.
He grumped and groomped while he fumbled for his utility belt. Hands clad in fingerless gloves, those plump padded fingers struggled to poke down and retrieve the contents of any given compartment. They were just too darn big! He arooed and bitterly shook his head side to side. The Arcaring’s long thick flowing mane that stretched down along his back and to his tail swished gently as he did so. “That paperwork better still be in there! Don’t think you’ve won yet, villain! I’ll stop your dastardly, albeit incredibly fluffy, plans yet!” He paused to snuggle his pillowy soft tail in between his invectives.
“If you say so,” Balina dismissed him with a wave of her hands. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have another data point to gather.” Eyes half lidded, the Milchamp nonchalantly plodded out of the lab. Or tried to.
WHUMP
An orange leg wrapped with black stripes slammed down before her. A spherical bulge, a knee perhaps, extended out of the limb and nudged her back.
“Not so fast!” KingDead bellowed as a green aura radiated surrounded his body. Wisps of energy, lacking warmth but positively packing in color, flit off his body and dissipated into the stale and air-conditioned atmosphere. Subtle tremors rumbled out from his fluffy form while he swelled out ever thicker and taller, his commands dipping down in octave with the passing seconds. “Whatever it is you’re doing, I will not allow it!” Padded toes level with the Milchamp’s knees, the Arcaring hunched over as light fixtures and exposed wiring hanging along the ceiling dipped down into his mane. “No more fashion faux pas’ on my watch! You’ve ruined one supersuit too many!”
Balina blew a raspberry. “Whatever, I’ll buy you a new one.”
“It’s not the same!” He huffed. The whites of his eyemask glaring down at the Milchamp, the newly christened foes engaged in a stare off. A subdued intensity buzzed about them as the atmosphere grew thick with tension. And Bug-Types.
“BEE! LEDYBEEBEEBEE!” Wings thrumming against the air, a Ledyba bumbled through the lab, bumping and bopping against the walls as it navigated by braille.
“Bwuh?” Both Balina and KingDead broke eye contact to gawk at the Ladybug like intruder. Bleats and bahhs from the opposite side of the room soon drew their attention and they whipped their necks to and fro to take in the latest disturbance.
“After it, Jesse!” Radda bahhed as he pranced along the edges of the room. He bleated and bahhed with every leap and hop over the maze of wiring sprawled across the floor.
Hot on his heels, the Machu huffed as he struggled to keep pace. “I’m coming, I’m coming!”
“We can exposition later about whatever the hell it is that happened to you, just catch that Ledyba!” The Mareep’s wool sparked with electricity while he launched Thunderwave after Thunderwave at the darn bug. Each and every bolt fizzled against whatever surface they came into contact with as the Bug-type bobbed and ricocheted about.
“BEEBEEBEE!”
The Arcaring’s ears perked to attention. “Sheepy! He needs my help!” Knees bent, KingDead awkwardly tried to maneuver about the now cramped household. “And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.” Index and middle finger pointed at his eyes, the Pokecanine shifted their aim back and forth between himself and the Milchamp. “You’ll pay for your crimes against fashion soon!” Barks and ruffs slipped free from his muzzle while he slowly and painstakingly lumbered after the sheepreep in need of saving. “Oop, sorry!” A light fixture caught in his mane was ripped free from the ceiling and crashed to the floor. “My bad!” His thick and fluffy knee punched a sizable hole straight through a wall. Plaster and insulation bled out from the wound in the décor.
Balina simply stood there while she waited for the crashing, smashing, and steady stream of apologies to go quiet. “About darn time…”
NEXT
Category Story / Macro / Micro
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 116px
File Size 75 kB
Listed in Folders
You've heard well enough of it, but gosh darn it all this was a blast from start to finish. To think it all started from an idea as simple as pokemon fusion! It was a pleasure spectating it and also being a dumb goosey part of it. Thank you for writing this zany story and for having us included! :3
I think you and KD were the real victims here and today. Too many bugs, too little supersuits! D:
I think you and KD were the real victims here and today. Too many bugs, too little supersuits! D:
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