"You aren't important enough for us to get back to with even a no on your sample. This quote isn't even real, we can't even be bothered to send you a poorly-written form letter. we like 2 sniff the butts and poop in our own mouths." -New York Public Radio.

inb4 comanche attack-lawyers.
Rain by Inchadney (freesound.org/people/inchadney/sounds/188495/), Ohrwurm (freesound.org/people/Ohrwurm/sounds/96603/) of Freesound.
(edit: volume fixed, had uploaded the wrong version)