Since it's been too long (again) since I uploaded artwork...

Hopefully this will not be controversial. So many of my tumblr posts from May of 2014 are just embarrassing; This question in particular because I should had realized Vix was "the one" and I am still not completely comfortable with what I said. I've edited it down a bit and I am hesitant to link to the full text, but it's not hard to find. Given what I've shown approval of under my handle BigotedSJW, there are many things my heart has shifted on. Until last year I'd never thought I'd be OK with polyamory for example. Nevertheless I remain firm (for myself, not on a potential mate) on this.

A reply to Feretta's response to my question to Lamb here
"[to me] it looks like a mess of black crayon produced by an overambitious eight year old. Oh well.

This is in fact my promise ring. I despise the term purity ring… for one my heart and mind are far from pure, hence the crown of thorns. …  I do not intend to be “holier than thou” or judgmental when I say I take the promise seriously. God knows the contents of my heart.

At first it was just an easy rule to follow, as when I first got a promise ring at age 12 I was very much a Pharisee; since throughout high school I was homeschooled and since I am to this very day very much an introvert, sex has been easy to avoid. Then it evolved into a basic courtesy; whomever God chooses for me to marry will know I am disease free, and sex would be something reserved as something special for her. Now than I am well over twice the age as when I first got a promise ring, I have developed a personal reason.

Sometime in February I was talking to my father, a Chaplain, about verses used by the unchurched as gotchas in attempts to invalidate all orthodox Christian concerns about family and sex. I had my own theory <tw>(forced alimony from rapists who would otherwise be put to death if the victim was married)</tw>, but to my surprise Dad had a different view: that this applied to close knit agrarian societies; it would be difficult to apply to modern urban society. Should something happen between an otherwise consenting unmarried couple, word in such closely knit communities would get out.  He said the law in question was meant to take care of such couples.

The discussion evolved into me learning that one son broke his promise. He thought I already knew, and I had not. So I asked how it was for well married younger brothers and older sister, all three of whom now have children. (I envy them so). I learned it was hard, very hard on them, especially as the wedding day drew near. I learned that things can easily and rapidly escalate.

In light of the new knowledge about the law, what I understood the purpose of a bride price to be, and what I learned about my sibling’s experiences, I added clauses to my promise: I will not have a physical relationship, not even to hold hands, until my student loans are paid off, I own my own means of transportation outright, and I have $5k in my savings. By God’s grace I have managed to continue my education since I moved to the DC area five years ago without adding a dime to my student loans. Since people in my field of interest, software development, are in high demand in this region*, I believe it is very possible keep this new covenant I made with God and my family.

But, easy might be the the wrong word… It has been a long, lonely and difficult wait. Maybe me being so shy is why I can’t quite understand friends with benefits: I never really had anyone outside of my immediate family I could comfortably call a friend, except for a few brave souls who put up with me in grade school who are now long forgotten.

That was a lengthy blurb…

Again I am not in a position to judge, nor am I trying to, especially of how relationships work out in a fictional universe. I just felt a need to share."

*As of the ways I am not neurotypical, and given how clear my limitations have been made in the past few years, from no longer being able to keep up with a full load of classes (if I was ever really able to) to how late I let personal projects slip, I now greatly doubt my ability to hold down a full time desk job, and that's fine. What I have learned and the gifts I have will not go to waste, even if I apply it to freelance and contract work after I graduate. I would continue to do such contract and freelance work as a mostly stay-at-home dad, should someone want me despite my possible inability to fully offset my cost of living. The financial goals I've set as prerequisites for intimacy are still very achievable, I just would need to wait longer. I don't believe God would have made me wait as long as I already have if it was not well worth the wait.