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Story / Transformation
Species Western Dragon
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More from Kaoru Greendrake
The King's Dragons
Old version deleted!
The new revised version (with illustrations by
exindiv !) is here!
Hohooo! People into dragons! How about that? I haven't done anything of that type in a long while now, but since this very hot topic happens to be the one for which most of you guys are watching me for, I might just as well give in for once. :P
On his 18th birthday a boy gets drafted into the dragon army. He doesn't just have to come to terms with it, he also learns a lot about a whole new society and its very particular, if not even peculiar, rules. And that not necessarily everyone who seems friendly at first truly turns out to be a friend in the long run...
And yeah, errr, what can I say? I originally intended this to be just 10 to 12 pages long, but then the situations and characters grew and grew and grew... and then it ended up being about 5 times as long. Even worse: Halfway through I playfully wondered what a sequel would be about, assuming I'd write one. And then, wham, my brain mapped out a whole novel of epic proportions. * lol * So while this still acts as a standalone short story, it can also be viewed as a prologue to something much longer. Something that I really hope to do, even though I already have more than enough of other things on my plate. :P Ah well, we'll see! But if I don't, it would be a waste of characters and storylines – and my head would burst from not letting them out.
Kudos to
surzsha btw who did a tremendous job at proof- and betareading this thing! Especially when one considers the length of the text!
Anyway! Enjoy! =)
The new revised version (with illustrations by
exindiv !) is here!Hohooo! People into dragons! How about that? I haven't done anything of that type in a long while now, but since this very hot topic happens to be the one for which most of you guys are watching me for, I might just as well give in for once. :P
On his 18th birthday a boy gets drafted into the dragon army. He doesn't just have to come to terms with it, he also learns a lot about a whole new society and its very particular, if not even peculiar, rules. And that not necessarily everyone who seems friendly at first truly turns out to be a friend in the long run...
And yeah, errr, what can I say? I originally intended this to be just 10 to 12 pages long, but then the situations and characters grew and grew and grew... and then it ended up being about 5 times as long. Even worse: Halfway through I playfully wondered what a sequel would be about, assuming I'd write one. And then, wham, my brain mapped out a whole novel of epic proportions. * lol * So while this still acts as a standalone short story, it can also be viewed as a prologue to something much longer. Something that I really hope to do, even though I already have more than enough of other things on my plate. :P Ah well, we'll see! But if I don't, it would be a waste of characters and storylines – and my head would burst from not letting them out.
Kudos to
surzsha btw who did a tremendous job at proof- and betareading this thing! Especially when one considers the length of the text!Anyway! Enjoy! =)
Category Story / Transformation
Species Western Dragon
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 78 B
Come to think of it that I actually held back a bit in that sequence! XD I could have elaborated a little more, but then again it would have distracted from the actual story. Or at least that's how I felt about about it. So I somewhat breezed through it, or at least rushed it a bit more than I normally would have.
this is a good story
Usually I'm not a fan of Transformation stories since they're usually these very bland, one-note and not very well written; there are sadly a lot of factory made/junkfood stories of transformation (and other things) . But this is very solid due to the character development
Usually I'm not a fan of Transformation stories since they're usually these very bland, one-note and not very well written; there are sadly a lot of factory made/junkfood stories of transformation (and other things) . But this is very solid due to the character development
Thanks a lot! In any case I really do want to continue. It would be a series of short stories with about the same length as the one posted above, all adding up to a big novel. I just need to do some more planning... and first and foremost time to write them all. :D
Thank you! :)
However, I do feel I have to jump to "those" stories defence. They do usually serve a very certain purpose, technically meaning that they're rarely written for their plot. ;) And to be honest, in the beginning I considered this story to be just a venting platform so I could get a silly fantasy out of the system. But then it quickly became something else entirely. So with a little bad luck there wouldn't have been much for you to enjoy here. *g* But since people have been commenting on the plot and characters I suppose I must have done something right with them. :)
However, I do feel I have to jump to "those" stories defence. They do usually serve a very certain purpose, technically meaning that they're rarely written for their plot. ;) And to be honest, in the beginning I considered this story to be just a venting platform so I could get a silly fantasy out of the system. But then it quickly became something else entirely. So with a little bad luck there wouldn't have been much for you to enjoy here. *g* But since people have been commenting on the plot and characters I suppose I must have done something right with them. :)
That was a very nice story. I found the start a little slow, confusing maybe? But that might be because it's a child describing the scene. But that is my only gripe with the story, the rest was very enjoyable! Some great details and a very nice end, leaving me wanting for more. So thumbs to you sir! And I'd love to see more of this.
Thank you a lot! :)
What was confusing or unclear in the beginning section, btw? Just so I know into which writing traps I fell without noticing.... and what I could change or improve on the next time. Or what to watch out for ir in case I'm revising this story!
What was confusing or unclear in the beginning section, btw? Just so I know into which writing traps I fell without noticing.... and what I could change or improve on the next time. Or what to watch out for ir in case I'm revising this story!
Hmm.. Rereading it.. It kinda.. Thrown together? And I'm talking about the very first paragraph. The way you set the scene, ..felt like the pieces were quickly put together, a little too quickly.
the second paragraph kinda felt like that too, but less so. Apart from those bits, it felt good.
the second paragraph kinda felt like that too, but less so. Apart from those bits, it felt good.
He linked me to the story and the art for it around the time he read it. I haven't had the chance to read it yet given it's Thanksgiving... But I intend to sit down and read it today. With the length, I'm looking forward to it, he really enjoyed it.
But before I begin, I will offer a suggestion for what he's said. Something that's worked well for me for this as I used to have the same problem back years ago, is to write the whole story as you have, and after you've put on your "The End", give it a day or two to settle and go back and reread the first page, making the necessary adjustments, now that you've got it all figured out. Writing linear as it sounds like it is from the suggestion, always works better this way. An additional day or two either way for polishing it will go a long way. :)
I hope that helps. I'm looking forward to sitting down and taking a few hours reading it later this evening. Well done in advance. Just the length is a statement of the attempt, not counting for quality. From the comments, I'm sure it will be well worth it. (And the art as well.)
But before I begin, I will offer a suggestion for what he's said. Something that's worked well for me for this as I used to have the same problem back years ago, is to write the whole story as you have, and after you've put on your "The End", give it a day or two to settle and go back and reread the first page, making the necessary adjustments, now that you've got it all figured out. Writing linear as it sounds like it is from the suggestion, always works better this way. An additional day or two either way for polishing it will go a long way. :)
I hope that helps. I'm looking forward to sitting down and taking a few hours reading it later this evening. Well done in advance. Just the length is a statement of the attempt, not counting for quality. From the comments, I'm sure it will be well worth it. (And the art as well.)
Thanks! Hope you're going to enjoy it if you find the time for it! :)
And it's actually what I did, but I since I couldn't find a better way to phrase that first paragraph on the second to third readthrough (or at least didn't spot a fault there) I mostly left that part as it was. But now that I have the feedback it's in the back of my mind. And something that I will look into in case I tie it all together in a book one day.
And it's actually what I did, but I since I couldn't find a better way to phrase that first paragraph on the second to third readthrough (or at least didn't spot a fault there) I mostly left that part as it was. But now that I have the feedback it's in the back of my mind. And something that I will look into in case I tie it all together in a book one day.
Wow. I started reading it didn't expect much, perhaps a few pages of dragon TF magic thing. But this is so much more indept and...so much better. A picture tells a thousand words, but they only worth a few of yours. I'm gonna have to look through your gallery now, and hope to find some more of these gems.
I tried to do that once or twice actually... but it's almost like writing the whole thing a second time. And since the thing above took me about a month to finish (and I was on vacation at home for one week at that time) I'm not really sure if it's worth the time and effort. I rather look ahead and do a completely new thing instead of revisting an old can of worms. ^^''
I've been reading this emotional transformation story from start to finish since yesterday.
Now that I've finally got through it all, I can gladly consider this a well-written tale of a young man adjusting to his new life as a draconic soldier.
I feel that the well-paced story combined with the easily-relatable characters help create a strong balance of comedy, tragedy, mystery and hope.
Most transformation stories tend to focus on the transformation(s) and nothing more. However, this is not one of those stories.
Here, you've detailed pretty much everything before and after the protagonist's transformation from his curious human childhood to his first few years as a full-fledged dragon warrior.
I feel that this helps make the cast of characters (especially Rekk's guide who is my favourite character) and their complex emotions all the more believable.
All in all, I'd say that you've done an excellent job handling the concept of an entire kingdom of dragons. You effectively illustrated its pros and cons through the characters' interactions which is what I like in a story.
So, apart from a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, I say great job writing this! I enjoyed reading every moment!
Now that I've finally got through it all, I can gladly consider this a well-written tale of a young man adjusting to his new life as a draconic soldier.
I feel that the well-paced story combined with the easily-relatable characters help create a strong balance of comedy, tragedy, mystery and hope.
Most transformation stories tend to focus on the transformation(s) and nothing more. However, this is not one of those stories.
Here, you've detailed pretty much everything before and after the protagonist's transformation from his curious human childhood to his first few years as a full-fledged dragon warrior.
I feel that this helps make the cast of characters (especially Rekk's guide who is my favourite character) and their complex emotions all the more believable.
All in all, I'd say that you've done an excellent job handling the concept of an entire kingdom of dragons. You effectively illustrated its pros and cons through the characters' interactions which is what I like in a story.
So, apart from a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, I say great job writing this! I enjoyed reading every moment!
Wow, thanks! I'm really happy that people enjoy the story as much as they do! It actually fills me with motivation to write the following stories/chapters after this one! :)
Like I said in one of the comments above, the original intent really was little more than just the transformation with some fleeting bits of plot around it, but before I knew it it became something else entirely and I suddenly had this huge bag of characters and mythology in my hand. Let alone the amount of themes that I want to tackle. The full story will probably be around 20 chapters long, and each of them should be around the length as the one posted above. (The third one would focus on the Guide, btw. :) ) It will be quite a lot of work to write it all and get it all done... but I hope I can do it. Even if it should take me a few years. ;)
Like I said in one of the comments above, the original intent really was little more than just the transformation with some fleeting bits of plot around it, but before I knew it it became something else entirely and I suddenly had this huge bag of characters and mythology in my hand. Let alone the amount of themes that I want to tackle. The full story will probably be around 20 chapters long, and each of them should be around the length as the one posted above. (The third one would focus on the Guide, btw. :) ) It will be quite a lot of work to write it all and get it all done... but I hope I can do it. Even if it should take me a few years. ;)
How coincidental. I remember feeling the same way when working on my novelette "The Legacy of Dr. Moreau" two years ago.
That was originally intended to be a short transformation chicken scratch too. But, in a matter of months, I somehow found myself writing a bona fide story.
It was once available exclusively to Amazon Kindle Store. But, after a year, I removed it since it went mostly unnoticed. However, once I find the right publisher, I might have it printed in paperback.
That was originally intended to be a short transformation chicken scratch too. But, in a matter of months, I somehow found myself writing a bona fide story.
It was once available exclusively to Amazon Kindle Store. But, after a year, I removed it since it went mostly unnoticed. However, once I find the right publisher, I might have it printed in paperback.
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